Pros and Cons

When Little Dude wakes up from his afternoon nap we usually let him hang out and play in his crib for a few minutes. Today that strategy backfired on us; when Mr. Fob opened the door of the room the stench was even worse than a regular dirty diaper. Little Dude had pulled his pants off and had been digging in his diaper and wiping it on his bed. At least it wasn't as bad as that time S-Boogie took her diaper completely off. I was on my way out the door at the moment, so I silently rejoiced that I didn't have to deal with that mess.

Then I ended up stuck in traffic and was half an hour late to my class that I'm teaching. I leave my house an hour before class as it is (without traffic it only takes 20 minutes to get there), but today the last few miles of the freeway were horrible. It took me an hour to go two miles. Apparently on Halloween everyone decides to leave work early. Now I know for next year.

Question of the week

Since this blog has been kind of boring lately, I thought I'd try a debate. I don't know if this is controversial or not, but here goes.

How do you feel about dressing up like a Mormon missionary for Halloween? Cool? Not cool? Why or why not?

Accomplishments

1. I went to the Trunk or Treat tonight and managed to not be too grinchy. It was cold and dark, but the kids had a great time. I even wore a Superman shirt.

2. Today was my last day of completing four-weeks of exercise. I found this fun little calendar online and I managed to follow it for four weeks (I think I missed one or two days, but I've still been pretty consistent). Exercise is not one of my strong points, so I'm pretty proud of myself for sticking to a program for that long. I don't think I lost any weight (I haven't checked), but I feel good. I've noticed that my ability to walk and my desire to do it have really grown over the last few weeks. What I actually want to do know is get my bike fixed up and buy a helmet, because I've remembered how much I like riding my bike and it seems a shame to miss out on the lovely trail right behind my house. Now if I can just improve my diet, I might actually lose a bit of weight with all this exercising I'm doing.

A fine moment in parenting

Yesterday morning S-Boogie went in her room and got dressed all by herself. I was so proud; usually she drags me in there to discuss her clothing options. We spend twenty minutes arguing and she rejects all of my suggestions. If I tell her I don't want to argue and I don't care, she throws herself to the ground sobbing that she needs help. So yesterday was great because I didn't have to do any of that and she actually picked out something cute.

Later in the day I went and picked her up from the bus. She came home, put away her shoes and backpack, and announced:

"Guess what? I didn't wear panties to school today!"

Shameless Bragging

I don't normally do this, but I need to feel good about myself. There's another, longer post I've been wanting to write, but I've been so busy lately that it will have to wait. First of all, last night I had to fill out a form detailing all my language classes that I've ever taken and my grades in them. I discovered that my GPA in undergraduate Spanish classes is a 3.95 and in graduate classes is 3.97. I think I'm prepared for additional graduate work. Oh, and I got a perfect score on the verbal part of the GRE. That surprised even me.

Also, this is a photo of the cool stuff I won in a random drawing. I don't usually win things, but I was so excited to get it. The blog I entered the drawing on is really cool and I've tried a number of recipes from it that were fabulous. It also led me to this blog, which has the tastiest recipe for chicken pot pie I have ever tried.

We have new clothes. Do you have new clothes?

Now that she is in school Monday through Friday, S-Boogie is learning about the concept of a "weekend". It's been nice lately that neither Mr. Fob or I have to work on the weekends, so we've been trying to get out and have some fun as a family. Yesterday we drove out to a pumpkin patch over in the Snoqualmie valley. The scenery was worth the long drive. Although it had been rainy and cloudy, the autumn leaves looked gorgeous with the misty clouds over them. The skies were clear during our time at the farm, though it started pouring as we drove away. We did go to the outlet mall because we've been trying to find some good pieces for S-Boogie's Halloween costume. I seriously doubted that we'd be able to find her a blue shirt and red skirt; it can be hard to find basic kids clothes like that. But we actually found a shirt in the perfect shade of blue as well as an adorable red velvet skirt that will work for Supergirl. With a new cream-colored sweater it also makes a great holiday-type church outfit. We also got S-Boogie a set of Dora rings from the Claire's outlet so she'll stop putting rubber bands on her fingers (The other day I thought she'd covered her finger in purple ink. No, it was just turning black from the lack of circulation.) According to S-Boogie the best part of the trip was when she put two quarters in one of those kiddie rides outside the store. It was shaped like a giant apple with Lowly Worm in it. I'm glad we drove an hour away just for that. Before we headed up to the outlet mall my parents called and ordered me to go to Eddie Bauer to buy myself a new sweater. So I did. They were having a big sale and the exact one I wanted was nowhere to be seen, but I still got a cozy, dark brown cardigan that fits nicely and keeps me warm. I think I like Saturdays.

Sublimation

Today I finally realized something that I wish I had learned about ten years ago, at least. It all started a month or so ago when I saw this sweater in the window over at Eddie Bauer. It's perfect: stylish and practical at the same time. I love cardigans and I don't have a dark brown one. Unfortunately the regular price of the sweater is 68 dollars, and I think it's insane to spend that much money on one item of clothing, no matter how nice it is. But I didn't stop thinking about the sweater. Then I got a Chadwick's catalog that came with a nice coupon for 20 percent off your order. I looked around and saw a shirt that I liked and that came in the perfect shade of blue to match some pants I have. But the shirt wasn't on sale and I didn't like the idea of spending 20 dollars for only one shirt. Instead I looked around on clearance and found a few things I liked and ordered them instead. A six dollar shirt is a better deal, even if it's not exactly the one I liked. Today I also ended up at Goodwill looking for some possible items for Halloween costumes. I also bought a few things for myself, including a super cute, dark gray Banana Republic sweater for only four dollars. Score. However, I realized on the way home that during the last week I've managed to spend seventy dollars on clothes. I got some cute things, but I still want the brown sweater and the blue shirt. It doesn't matter what else I got if I still didn't get what I had originally been looking for. And if I had just saved up my money I could have gotten the specific things that will match my wardrobe and satisfy my desires. I think I do this way too often: I decide that for some reason the specific thing I want is "off limits" and so try a substitute, but then I end up unhappy because it's not what I want. I need to remember this in the future. Once I have room in my budget for clothes again.

Taking the Plunge

I've started applying to PhD programs. I already paid money to one school and I've asked professors for recommendations, so there's no going back now. I've been somewhat ambivalent about things lately because I really like my life right now. I like teaching just two evenings a week and spending the rest of my time lazing around reading whatever I want. I like not having to do homework and I certainly don't miss the insane politics of grad school and the constant feeling that I'm not worthy to be there. But there's a little voice in the back of my head telling me that this is the right decision and that I won't regret it. And when I looked at UC Davis' website and saw that they have an emphasis in critical studies--including translation theory--I started feeling a little giddy. Course descriptions always make me feel so optimistic; oh yes, I would love to spend an entire semester discussing the theory of myth or "domesticating" vs "foreignizing" translations. This is when I know I'm crazy and I know my mind wants me to keep going. I'm applying to Berkeley, Oregon, and Davis. Hopefully someone will want me. And if they don't, at least I can breathe a little easier and go back to adjunct teaching. It's nice to be in a position where either choice sounds pretty good.

"Self Awareness" Books

As I've been writing up my monthly reviews of books, I've left a few out that I wanted to comment on more extensively. Over the last six months or so I've read a number of self-help (or as one wants to call itself, "self-awareness") books. The following three are ones that I found to be particularly interesting:

Nice Women Get Divorced: The Conflicts and Challenges for Traditional Women by Geneva Sugarbaker

This book was published in the early 1990s and is currently out of print. It focuses on women who grew up during the 50s and 60s, so it didn't necessarily apply directly to me. However, it was a good start on my journey to finding out more about my own voice and recognizing my own needs. I like how she really makes clear the difference between being assertive and aggressive, because I often worry that I'll go straight from being passive to being overbearing and strident.

Loving Him Without Losing You: How to Stop Disappearing and Start Being Yourself by Beverly Engel

This was also a good book about learning to be assertive. It had a lot of good advice, and I appreciated that it focused on women without denigrating men (and without denigrating women either). It gave me a lot to think about in terms of how I interact with people and the things I do and say in all my relationships, not just my marriage. It's so easy to just want to be "nice" and polite and end up having fake relationships because you never act like yourself.

I Know I'm In There Somewhere: A Woman's Guide to Finding Her Inner Voice and Living a Life of Authenticity by Helene Brenner

I recently finished this book and it was my favorite. I need to buy a copy so I can reread it. I liked the fact that the focus was just life in general, not just relationships. I also really connected with the need to align ourselves with our own inner thoughts/feelings that will give us a sense of our unique mission and talents. That resonated with my belief system and made this book feel very comfortable. It also had a lot of good practical examples and "innercizes" to do. One of my favorite passages from the book is:

"A successful individual is someone who sees her uniqueness, who perceives even some very small differences that set her apart from others, and uses them to launch her life...Think of the times when you feel best about who you are, when your particular constellation of values, personality traits and abilities all click together and you feel totally in your element. That's the seed of your inner vision. That's when you are truly being an instrument of Creation, in it's never ending process of expanding, discovering, and expressing Itself. You yourself are a one-of-a-kind creation, never to be repeated, so what you have most to offer is equally unique to you."

I've been really trying to listen to myself lately, to figure out what I want, what I really enjoy doing, and what I should do with my life. I feel like too often I see the things that seem to separate me from others or that make me different in a negative light and I want to change them. Instead, I can use them for good. One example I've been thinking about is the fact that I tend to be "soft" on people rather than "hard" on them. I can always see both sides of an issue and sometimes I feel like I should be more outraged about certain things than I really am. I think I'm being vague here, but this really has been bothering me. But as I reread my patriarchal blessing, which I view as a source of accurate information about myself, I noticed that it mentioned several times that my personal style is unassuming and mild-mannered. That's a great comfort to me and a reminder that there are variety of people and a variety of ways of communicating our feelings. Through these books I've read I've learned how to work more on my assertiveness, but I think I will always be quietly assertive. And that's OK with me.

Food, Friends, and Family

Since I usually blog about the disasters, I thought I should blog about the wonderful weekend I just had. Things got off to a good start on Friday when the college called to let me know that my paperwork had reappeared and my contract was ready to sign. Even better than that, Mr. Fob had decided to work from home so I could drive over there without Little Dude and sign the darn thing. I stopped off at Trader Joe's on the way home and got some yummy munchies, including some cool baby kiwis from the produce section. Friday night we decided to go down to Ikea for some family fun. S-Boogie played in the kids' area while we spent an hour window shopping with Little Dude, then we all ate dinner together at the restaurant (the kids even got free meals from their Kids Club membership).

The best part of my weekend arrived on Friday night at the Amtrak station. My sister came up from Portland for two days and we had a fabulous time together. We started things off well by staying up until 3:30 in the morning talking. Oops. Then we spent all day Saturday at the Sunstone Northwest symposium. It was really good and I enjoyed all the thoughtful and interesting presentations. We took an extended lunch break and ate Thai food, browsed in a store, and shared a piece of cake from a bakery. Last night we stopped in at a blog party hosted by a poster on By Common Consent. The food was great and the people were a lot of fun. I love to meet people in person after connecting online. S-Boogie fell asleep in the car on the way home; that always makes bedtime a lot easier.

Today was a lazy Sunday. Skye went to church with me and the kids, then this afternoon she played with S-Boogie while I took a quick nap on the couch. After Little Dude's nap we went over to Gas Works Park. We thought it would be cool to get our family picture for this year with Seattle in the background, but it was actually too sunny (crazy, I know) to get a really good shot. We may need to try again at Thanksgiving. This was great weekend and I love having my sister live close enough to hang out. I think all I need in life is good friends (including family) and good food. Especially Thai and Greek food.

I'm a Copy Cat

As I was sitting here feeling exhausted from the last few crazy days, I opened up my blog reader to find this post from Science Teacher Mommy. I thought it was cool, so I'm going to copy it.

Tuesday 8 PM--The kids are both in bed, so I decide to spend some time vegging on the internet. Spend nearly an hour making up my mind to go to the grocery store and pick up some milk.

9 PM--Get my cart and my canvas bags and walk to the grocery store. Get my milk and cheese, and then decide to get some canned vegetables because they are on sale for a really great price. After looking around, I realize that some other canned things like tomatoes and fruit, as well as pasta are also deeply discounted. I make a snap decision to stock up our pathetic pantry and fill my cart. The guy at the checkout is not amused, but I manage to save sixty dollars while spending fifty.

10 PM--Feel trashy while walking my grocery cart back to my house. After Mr. Fob helps me unload all the stuff, I take the cart back and feel good about myself again. I spend way too much time organizing the pantry, but everything fits and I manage to get rid of random items like a half-empty box of potato flakes that are older than S-Boogie.

11 PM--Eat some cookies and milk and stay up late chatting with Mr. Fob. Got to bed at a very late hour.

12 PM--Finally fall asleep. Thankfully the kids sleep well and I do too.

7 AM--Wake up and turn off my alarm. Realize that S-Boogie has woken up, gotten herself dressed already, and turned on the light to make sure her little brother gets up bright and early too. Power up the laptop and check my email while debating going for a walk.

8 AM--Go for a nice power walk on the trail. Come home and eat breakfast, half of it while holding a crying Little Dude who really wants Mommy to change his diaper. Change the really stinky diaper and get some clothes. Finally get in the shower a few minutes before Mr. Fob has to leave.

9 AM--Get dressed while fending off small children who want to discuss my anatomy and my underwear choices. Try to help S-Boogie make paper dolls while keeping Little Dude from climbing on the table to eat the scissors.

10 AM--Read stories to Little Dude and put him down for a nap. Blow dry my hair and fix S-Boogie's. We quickly fold some laundry together before she gets her shoes on and I take her to the bus stop.

11 AM--At last I am by myself, so I work on grading and lesson plans. My students didn't all do a stellar job on their first test, but they show up to class and do their homework so they're all still doing fine. Successfully resist the urge to waste time on the internet and get an hour of productive work in.

12 PM--Little Dude wakes up hungry for lunch. He also wakes up feeling very warm, but I decide to give him a little while to wake up before taking his temperature. We eat lunch, but I'm surprised when he hardly eats anything and angrily pushes his tray away. After lunch he watches Signing Time while I read a book.

1 PM--I change Little Dude's diaper and take his temperature; it's 102 degrees. He gets Tylenol and we cuddle on the couch while watching a very enlightening episode of CSI: Miami.

2 PM--S-Boogie's preschool calls; she's fallen down on the playground and split her chin open. Mr. Fob is on his way home and unreachable, so I call a neighbor to hold on to Little Dude while I go get her. She's feeling pretty happy to see me, but her chin looks pretty nasty.

3 PM--Get settled into our favorite spot: Children's Hospital ER. I'm pretty sure we've seen this doctor before, but he doesn't seem to recognize us. S-Boogie picks some snacks from the snack cart and we attempt to watch the TV. It doesn't work.

4 PM--A nurse helps us start Cinderella and puts some topical anaesthetic on S-Boogie's chin. After about 40 minutes, the doctor and assistant come in to sew her up. S-Boogie is less than enthusiastic about the procedure, but doesn't fight too hard. The worst part is when they give her the shot to numb the cut; the topical stuff was supposed to help the shot pain, but it didn't really do a lot. I actually started feeling woozy watching, but I think it was because it had been nearly five hours since lunch and the adrenaline rush was starting to wear off.

5 PM--S-Boogie is good to go by ten after five. At this point I'm starting to think about cancelling my class, because I usually have to leave by 4:30 to beat the traffic. I get home with S-Boogie at 5:25 (class starts at 5:30). I decide to go after all and instruct Mr. Fob to tell my students when they call (because they do) that I should be there by six and to please wait for me. The drive is mostly painless except for the last little bit that is always slow.

6 PM--Arrive a little after six completely flustered. My students are all there, so we have class. Spend the first hour of class discussing our families and how to say "to have".

7 PM--We've moved on to discussing our ages as well as the ages of our family members. We also go over the test from Monday. I'm glad that most of my students are pretty happy with their grades, although reviewing the test is somewhat disorganized because everyone just wants to go home.

8 PM--Leave the college and marvel, yet again, that it only takes me 20 minutes to drive home, but it usually takes at least 40 or 50 to get there earlier in the evening. Stupid rush hour. Eat the lovely french toast and hash browns Mr. Fob made for dinner, catch up on blogs, and hope the next 24 hours are not quite so exciting.

After I typed this up I realized that it was not really all that exciting. But it covers information that was going to be in several blog posts, so at least it's all condensed here.

Thoughts from the weekend

The weather is still cold and wet, and Mr. Fob is still sick, so we mostly stayed inside this weekend. I discovered that staying in the house for two days is not the best way to promote family harmony, especially since S-Boogie is used to going to school with her friends every day of the week. I tried to watch conference and discovered that combining a laptop with cranky children is a bad idea. Little Dude has figured out how to climb on a chair and then up to the table. One of these days he's going to dive through the pass-through and crack his head open on the kitchen floor. That child has such an appetite for destruction--nothing in our house is safe any more.

It really wasn't all that bad. Yesterday S-Boogie and I escaped for a while to the library and a wonderful bakery (Grateful Bread Baking Company, ha ha). I bought a hot cocoa to share, but she insisted on orange juice. Such a health nut. When we got home I discovered that Mr. Fob had cleaned the bathroom and trimmed Little Dude's hair. Last night we watched a movie together, ate nachos, and cuddled in bed (Mr. Fob says making out is hard when you can't breathe through your nose). This afternoon S-Boogie helped daddy make Halloween decorations for our windows and then helped mommy bake cookies. We delivered some of them to our neighbors and ate a few after Family Home Evening. The kids got to bed by 7:30 and now I have lots of time to go finish a book.

I felt like Conference was the same mix of highs and lows. I love Elder Eyring and I loved his talk (blogging is a good way to share your experiences others, hint hint). I loved Elder Oaks' talk about priorities (just don't spend too much time blogging). I loved the fact that someone from Latin America spoke in every session, even Priesthood and Relief Society (go Spanish and Portuguese!). I apparently slept through the most controversial talk on the internet, and I've stopped reading all the comments because I just don't feel like arguing about it. I will say that I'm disappointed in the focus on mothering as the material details like freshly ironed white shirts and doing the dishes. My husband did the dishes tonight and I helped the kids clean the house. I think that homemaking duties should be shared among all family members. The definition of Sunday best and things like that really vary across cultures. For example, there are Indians in Ecuador that traditionally have long hair. Their young men are completely worthy even without "missionary haircuts". I also hate it when people (not necessarily in the talk, but in comments)assume that women who choose to go to work or who go to school are doing so out of some sort of selfish desire. It could be for financial security and for the betterment of their families. Only God knows the intents of their hearts. I also don't like rhetoric about how we should be the "best". Why not love and appreciate the efforts of others not of our faith? I haven't been able to read the talk; I've only got the fragments I remember from my half-asleep state and the comments of others. I do appreciate the effort to validate the feelings of those who feel like being a mother is not "enough", because I've been there too. I do feel that raising children is one of the best pursuits we can be engaged in. I'm not sure that quitting my teaching job so I can be the one doing the dishes every single night of the week is what I need to do to accomplish that. Thankfully I feel like God is all right with my current state of life and my family is all right with it, so that's all that really matters to me.

Whew! Hopefully next weekend will be not so controversial, but I'm attending the Sunstone Northwest symposium so I can't count on that. To leave you on a funny note, read this hilarious post about conference from a friend of mine. You'll laugh, trust me.

Reasons why I feel like a jerk right now

1. On another blog I posted a comment about the general Relief Society President's hair. That was tacky and rude, especially since I just wrote a post about avoiding judgement and striving for unity.

2. Mr. Fob has been sick for almost two weeks, and instead of being sympathetic and supportive I've been grouchy and irritated.

3. Even though I took S-Boogie out to ride her bike this afternoon I was grumpy with her when she wanted my help pushing her up hills.

Feeling Grinchy

I know this sounds like blasphemy to many of you, but I really don't like Halloween. I don't like dressing up, I don't like creepy or gross decorations, and I don't like the fact that it's basically an excuse to buy lots of junk and feed kids candy (well, most holidays have now been co-opted by corporate America, so I guess it's not all that different from any other holiday). At least since having kids I have come to enjoy dressing them up in costumes because they look so cute, but it still isn't high on my list of favorite things. I love pumpkins and fall and all that fun stuff, but Halloween is not for me.

I'm also really not a fan of the 'trunk or treat' thing. I don't get how wandering around in a dark, cold parking lot is going to be any fun at all. Why can't we just go inside? In my old ward we had a Halloween activity inside the church where people decorated classrooms and then the kids could go around trick or treating to the rooms. I understand why it wouldn't work so well here; in our old ward most people didn't have kids so they were free to give out candy. Then again, why do we have to give out candy at all? Why can't we just get together in the gym and eat rice krispie treats and let the kids run around and show off their costumes? The kids would be happy, parents would be happy, and then we could all go home without another ton of candy. Problem solved.

The main reason why I'm concerned about this is the fact that I will be teaching my class on Halloween night so I won't be here for trick or treating. Last year we skipped the 'trunk or treat', but I'm crazy enough to want to dress my kids up and have some fun with them. I like to see them having fun, so we'll probably be hitting the 'trunk or treat' on Saturday night. I may be a grumpy old cynic, but I'll give my kids a few years to decide for themselves.

Reading Roundup: September

Ella Minnow Pea by Mark Dunn
I thought it was interesting that on my edition of this book they had changed the subtitle from "a progressively lipogrammatic epistolary fable" to "a novel in letters". Since this is a book about the dumbing down of language, I find that interesting and ironic. I didn't really know what this book was about before I read it; all I knew was that it had a cool title and I know several people who loved it. I think I didn't like it was much because I didn't expect political satire--no one told me about that. Once I got over that shock, I found myself liking the book. It was clever and fun.

In Pharaoh's Army by Tobias Wolff
This was another book I was pleasantly surprised by. I bought it because I have a weird obsession with the Vietnam war, but this was unlike any other war memoir I have read before. There wasn't any slogging through the jungle, buddies getting pulverized, swearing, or anything much like that. It was a very well-written series of vignettes about Wolff's life before, during, and after the war. I enjoyed it quite a lot and look forward to reading more by him in the future.

The Magic of Ordinary Days by Ann Howard Creel
This was our book club selection for this month, and I enjoyed it quite a lot. I had never heard of it before, but it was a nice, pleasant little read. There were a few elements of the plot that I didn't really feel worked, but overall it is a nice little book.

The Tea Rose by Jennifer Donnelly
Reading this book reminded me of watching something like Legends of the Fall or Far and Away. It's a big, long, sprawling epic set in England and America around the turn of the century. Some parts are really hokey, the dialogue is kind of dumb in spots, but it is still a lot of fun to read. I enjoyed the main characters and I liked the fact that she switched the focus between the girl and the guy, because that made for a more interesting read and added a little something not found in most historical romances. It did have more sex and swearing than I was expecting, just so you know. I picked it up because I had read Donnelly's YA book A Northern Light and loved it, and I still think that book is better. It's a lot shorter too.

Just Like That by Marsha Qualey
The plot of this book was straight out of most other YA books I've read: a sudden event changes the protagonist's life, shakes things up with her family and friends, and precipitates major growth. I still found it to be an interesting read and I liked the writing a lot. The characters were well-written and I liked all of them, even the parents. I picked it up because I liked the cover art, but it turns out the story is just as nice.

Dairy Queen by Catherine Murdock

I'm not a fifteen year old girl on a dairy farm in Wisconsin that flunks English and loves football. Definitely not. But I still enjoyed this book a lot and thought it was well-written and a lot of fun.

Movies

Minority Report

I finally got around to watching this after reading references to it for years. The wait was worth it; I really enjoyed this movie and thought it was well-made and interesting. The ethical questions it raises are important, but I especially liked the cool neo-noir style.

Little Miss Sunshine

This was another one I finally got around to watching; this time it was simply due to the fact that a thousand other people wanted to check it out from the library too. It was totally hilarious and one of the best comedies I've seen in a long time. I felt like it really maintained a balance between being unconventional and completely alienating the audience. Foul-mouthed grandpa was a little much for me at times, but that was pretty much my only problem with the movie.