Monday, November 29, 2010

A Better Day

I hate it when I write a post about a bad day and then don't have time to come back and blog for a few more days. There are negative moments in life, but generally things are all right. I think I'm starting to recover from this last week (for the record, it wasn't totally bad, but there were bad moments). Yesterday and today were generally pretty pleasant days, although I really do need to find a better way to manage my time so I can get enough sleep.

Yesterday morning I woke up to snow. This actually made for a good day; I love looking at snow and it wasn't enough to be horribly inconvenient. Mr. Fob shovelled the driveway so I could get out and go to church, and when I got there one of my friends had saved the bench in front of her family for me so she could help with my kids. They were actually well-behaved during sacrament meeting, but it was nice to have someone else spend some time holding the baby because she has become a super wiggly monkey lately. I did get the baby to sleep during Sunday School so I got some quiet time in the mother's lounge to read my scriptures while I was rocking her. Then I had some other lovely people come sit on the front row with me in Relief Society to hold the baby while I played the piano. My ward is so awesome.

We also put up our Christmas decorations over the weekend. We still don't have a tree, but I love our nativity sets and we got some cool lighted garland to go on the mantel to hide our stocking clips. Mr. Fob also put up some colored lights in the window and I love sitting in our festive living room listening to Christmas music. Today I took things easy and spent time enjoying some good music, a lovely white landscape outside the window, and bean-and-bacon soup in the crock-pot. The kids wanted to make some 'christmas tree cakes' they found in a craft book and so we did that, even though all we had to decorate them with were Halloween sprinkles. I still have worries and sorrows but taking the time to enjoy some of the good things makes life a little better.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Roller Coaster

So remember how I posted last weekend about how wonderful and happy my life was? This has been a rough week and I'm trying to find that happy place again. The real culprits have been my lack of sleep (and yes, I'm posting this at 11:15 when I should be in bed) and my stupid hormones which always make me morose and weepy for at least one week in every five. Sleep deprivation, cold weather, and PMS are not a good combination to have when you're hosting a family gathering. The truth is, Thanksgiving went really well. We managed to find a lovely new (to us) dining table just in time for the celebration, my little brother survived the blizzard in Seattle and made his flight here on time, my parents drove up safely, and all the food was tasty and prepared without mishap. But it's still been a rough week. We finally received some news about a long-lost family member; this is mostly happy, but the story is not finished yet and emotions have been pretty high all week. Then on Thursday night I decided to browse the paper online and found out that one of my students was killed in a car accident that day. I have been having a hard time getting over this news; I especially feel bad because she was somewhat quiet and I felt like I didn't get to know her that well. I also feel worried about her family, but I don't know them at all and I feel frustrated by the fact that things like accidents show up for one day in the news and then we never hear anything again. It also seems to be bringing up memories of several other people I have known that suddenly died during the last few years. I think more than anything I just need a good night's sleep and hopefully I'll find my way back to the proper perspective.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Comfortable

Yesterday was our ninth anniversary; I've written a few different anniversary posts over the last few years, but I still think my favorite is this one. Since the baby is a good sleeper and no longer nursing we decided to take a little staycation this year. Mr. Fob's sister was a fabulous auntie and came to spend the night with our three kids on Friday while we escaped to Salt Lake for the night. First we checked into our hotel; we've stayed there before, and while our room did not have a jacuzzi tub, it was very comfortable and affordable without feeling like the Super 8 motel. From our hotel we walked over the The Copper Onion; the food was fabulous and we left feeling completely stuffed. We shared a cheese plate and then I ordered the beef stroganoff and Mr. Fob had the fettuccine carbonara. Those may sound like ordinary entrees, but the cooking was amazing. We will definitely eat there again some time, but our budget can probably only handle it once a year. Then we walked over to the Gateway to watch the new Harry Potter movie in Imax; it was good--I'll review it on my monthly movie post. After a stop at the frozen yogurt shop we walked back to our hotel. We've decided that we really would like a king-size tempurpedic mattress of our own, but we sleep better when there aren't drunk people yelling in our hallway in the middle of the night (we've stayed at this hotel before and not had that problem). In the morning we went to breakfast at a little place called the Front End Grille. More tasty food (and cheap), with a pleasant little hole-in-the-wall ambiance and a very kind waitress. On the way home we stopped at Ikea to do some window shopping and pick up a few little kitchen essentials. The kids survived without us and it was nice to spend time together without two people talking at once all the time in an effort to get our attention.

One thing I have noticed lately is that I have finally reached the point where I am truly comfortable in our relationship. Now, this isn't so much Mr. Fob's doing as it has been mine; as I have become more comfortable with myself, I'm much more relaxed and sure of myself. Yes the early years are great when you are giddy and newly in love and everything is exciting. But I'm really enjoying the fact that I don't spend extra energy trying to hide the fact that sometimes I say or think dumb things. Or sometimes I'm grumpy or upset or just plain rude. And Mr. Fob accepts all of it. Like I said before, he hasn't changed. Even when we've gone through times where we didn't like each other much, he's never been rude to me or treated me badly. But I think I spent a number of years keeping up my old habits of trying to always seem poised and to never let my guard down and never let him think I'm less than perfect. And now I just don't care.

Things are more fun this way; the other day on the freeway I thought I saw a bumper sticker that said "Nobody's born a robot", and when I shared my mistake with him we could just laugh about it. This comfort in my relationship is rubbing off on my ability to be honest with other people too. Today I was asked to accompany a group of women who will be singing a song in Relief Society in a few weeks. I was given the music shortly before the practice, and while I can sight read pretty well, I was not sure about a few things and my playing was less than perfect. In the past I would have spent the entire practice feeling self-conscious about my playing and trying extra hard not to draw attention to myself or let anyone know that I had just received the music. Today, I simply said "I need to practice this more, but I'll do my best" and asked them about a few sections that weren't clear to me. It felt so much better to just be honest about my shortcomings; as I'm learning, they are almost always met with understanding. No one thinks I'm as incompetent as I think I am, and I'm grateful to be married to someone who has taught me that lesson over and over again.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Reading Roundup: November 2010

The Worst Hard Time by Timothy Egan

I had read many good reviews of this book, but I never felt that interested in reading it. It turned out to be much better than I had expected. I realized that I had read much about the Great Depression, but nothing specifically about the actual Dust Bowl (they're not the same thing), and Egan's writing is both clear and compelling. He made this time period really come alive to me and a month later I still find myself still thinking about some of the stories he relates.

People of the Book by Geraldine Brooks

This is another book that I'm kicking myself for not reading earlier; I think I had a misconception of what it was about from something else I'd read, but it wasn't what I was thinking at all. It was actually just my kind of book; I love 'literary mysteries' and I love historical fiction. The protagonist was someone I didn't particularly love, but at least I could understand her even when I did not agree with her.

Room by Emma Donoghue

This is one of the new 'it' books, and I can understand why. Sometimes it's hard to review books like this that are so different in their storytelling; the uniqueness of the story and its narration are so captivating that it can be hard to step back and really critique the book. That being said, I generally liked the book and felt like Donoghue was able to pull it off quite well. It left me with lingering questions, but when you are reading a story narrated by a five-year-old that is bound to be the case.

American Rust by Philipp Meyer

After checking this book out from the library I noted that a blurb on the back recommended it for fans of Cormac McCarthy or Dennis Lehane. While I have liked some of McCarthy's stuff, he's not my favorite and Lehane is really too dark for me. So this book was a bit hard for me to read although the story was enough to keep me going. I thought it was well-written, but it went places I wasn't expecting and the style and tone were not what I like to read.

Movies

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

I still haven't read this books yet, and now after seeing the movies I'm not sure if I will or not. The movie was really good and I liked a lot of aspects of the story and the characters. It is pretty graphically violent and I remembered that I have a higher tolerance for violence on the page, but I really don't know if I like it much in either place.

Invictus

I felt like this movie was a bit slow in getting started but generally it was well-done. It is hard to watch Morgan Freeman and think of him as anyone but himself; he did an admirable job trying to be Nelson Mandela. I've generally liked Clint Eastwood's recent movie but this one was probably my least favorite just because it felt a bit too much like any other sports movie. I had been hoping for something different.

Iron Man 2

This was a decent sequel that was a lot of fun to watch. I did not find the plot as interesting as the first one, simply because the origin story was much more unique than the standard conflicts brought up in this movie.

The Girl Who Played With Fire

I actually liked this movie a little better than the first one; I thought the plot was more complex and compelling. I also found it interesting that the two main characters are not ever in the same place at the same time during the movie. I'm looking forward to watching the third one. I'm not sure if I want to see American versions of these movies; they work so well as Swedish films I have hard time imagining them in English.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Part 1)

We saw this in Imax for our anniversary and I enjoyed it a lot. It is darker than the other films and a good bit of it is spent wandering around in the woods being angsty. I'm looking forward to seeing the second half next summer.

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

I watched this movie when I was having a really bad week and it was the perfect antidote. I laughed and laughed. It is really weird and does a lot of strangely post-modern things with editing and such. I like that kind of thing; I probably would have hated this movie ten years ago but thankfully I've learned to like pop culture and think stuff like this is really clever.

Sherlock Holmes


I haven't read much Sherlock Holmes stuff and I'm not a big fan; I mostly saw this movie because it looked like a lot of fun. It was quite fun and another good 'escape movie' for when you're in the mood to watch action movies that don't involve blowing up cars (just their nineteenth-century equivalents).

Counting my blessings

For the past two years I have done NaBloPoMo, but I just didn't feel up to it this year. The year before that I posted two weeks of 'thankful' posts. Neither of those things is going to happen this year; don't worry, I'm still thankful for the same things I've posted about before. I just wanted to share a few of the good things that have been happening lately. Life still has its little annoyances and I never feel like I have enough patience, time, or sleep; that doesn't mean that there's not good to be found everywhere.

We've been in our house for nearly a year and I love being here. I love our home itself; it's just the right size for us and so comfortable. I'm looking forward to hosting Thanksgiving with many of my family members here and I love having a home that gives me space to have family gatherings.

During the last few days the older two kids have been playing together really well. A week or so ago we had a scary incident where they got in a fight when I couldn't intervene and they were throwing toys at each other (large toys--it wasn't good). But they've redeemed themselves by being amazing together for a few days now; this morning they went downstairs and took a bath together and got ready for church together all on their own. It took them an hour, but we had that kind of time since we went to a missionary farewell instead of our usual ward.

Yesterday when I went to Target to get a few things I found some meat that was marked down to half-off. I also happened to have some coupons for meat so I got it for an even cheaper price. We don't eat meat that often so it will last us a while.

My mom is very sweet and sent me some money to help pay for hosting Thanksgiving. I thought of being proud and refusing the help, but instead I choose to accept it with a grateful heart. I will still use it wisely, but now I know I can afford to buy pecans for pecan pie (they're pricey, aren't they?)

The university offered me two classes to teach again next semester. They aren't the ideal scheduling I would have liked, however they are the same course that I'm teaching now so that will help a lot with writing my syllabus and everything else.

We're planning a big vacation to Hawaii next June and have already booked a place to stay. We haven't been since Little Dude was one and so I'm really excited to go again. We thought it would be nice for us to rent our own place for a little while and then it ended up turning into a little family reunion. I've never stayed in a beach house before and I'm looking forward to spending a few days hanging out with family. It's giving me motivation to try and stay in my budget for the next few months.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Slow Down

Some days are just slow days. I woke up this morning and realized "I have nothing to do today." Obviously there are plenty of things I could get done, like cleaning my baseboards, organizing my pantry, preparing lessons for next week, cleaning my shower, and so on. There just wasn't anything pressing. I know that I have been blogging about how busy my life is lately, and most of the time it is, but this week is a slow one for a lot of reasons. We've also suddenly hit winter weather and all I want to do is hibernate

So today I sat on the couch and read: part of a book, the new Ensign, my scriptures. I took pictures of Little Dude making block towers for the baby to knock over. I packed up Little Dude and the baby and took them to play at the mall playground for an hour. When my sister-in-law came over to use our scanner, I just hung out with her and looked at her pictures. Tonight I made an easy dinner of scrambled egg burritos and smoothies. Mr. Fob and I watched TV together. It was a slow day.

When I have days like this I worry that I'm never going to catch up. Sometimes I get in a rut where I just let inertia talk me into avoiding the dishes, letting the messes pile up, and ignoring it all with my head in a book. On the other hand, I've always managed to get my energy back again after a few days. I guess I shouldn't think of days like today as slow; I'm just recharging.

Tuesday, November 09, 2010

Your Son is (Probably) Not Gay

I usually avoid controversy on this blog and I generally try not to get too opinionated about things. I have many reasons for this, but I'm not going to go into them here. I recently read an article about the controversy whipped up by a mommy blogger who posted pictures of her son dressed up like Daphne for Halloween. I'm fine with the fact that she is willing to let her son dress up as whichever character he chooses, and I'm mildly uncomfortable with the fact that she seems to be doing so as some sort of political statement. What I'm most uncomfortable about is the fact that she titled her post "My Son is Gay."

I'm sorry, but just because your five-year-old wants to dress up like a girl doesn't mean he's gay. Being gay means that you are attracted to people of your same gender. Some gay men dress as women, but cross-dressing is not always related to homosexuality. There are plenty of cross-dressers that are straight as well. Gay men do not necessarily want to be women; as many of my gay friends have told me, they are simply men that are attracted to other men. I know that one major objection to reparative therapy is the implication that homosexuality arises from a faulty gender identity. Most gay men that I know are not 'gender confused; they definitely feel masculine in many ways. In general I'm often bothered by people assigning adult feelings to children's behaviors. I've never liked it when people look at kids who have friends of an opposite gender and say things about having 'boyfriends' or 'girlfriends'. Yes I know that many people start feeling attracted one way or another at that age, but I think it is very premature to start making assumptions and assigning labels to things like friends or 'crushes' or whatnot.

In sum: please remember that not all children who 'cross-dress' (if you can even call it that at such a young age) are not homosexual. Not all adults that cross-dress are gay either.

The end.

Wednesday, November 03, 2010

Reading Roundup: October 2010

Books

When a Crocodile Eats the Sun by Peter Godwin

Mr. Fob looked at my book and said "That title sounds pretentious." It does, and I suppose some could argue that this book is a bit pretentious; it's a memoir written by a man who has grown up as a white person in an African country and is now watching both his country and his father die. Some of the circumstances of his life seem almost too incredible to believe, but the book remains deeply personal and not pretentious after all. I was mesmerized by his writing and his story--I think this is one of the best books I've read this year.

The Age of Innocence by Edith Wharton

I've read this a few times before, but it was our book club pick for the month and I thought it would be great to read it again. This time I was struck by the nuances of the story; for some reason I had never noticed them in quite the same way before. Wharton is an amazing writer and I think I could easily read this book a few more times and enjoy it just as much.

The Tiger by John Vaillant

This was the second fascinating non-fiction book that I read this month. Vaillant doesn't just tell the story of a man-eating tiger who starts stalking people in Siberia, he discusses all the political, social, and economic circumstances that created the collision between man and animals in Russia. The story is compelling (man eating tigers!), but the writing really makes this an extraordinary book.

Movies

A Single Man

I'm somewhat curious to read the novel that this movie is based on, because the plot itself was not that interesting to me. Otherwise, I thought it was a well-done movie. The cinematography, costuming, and acting were excellent.

The Lovely Bones

I didn't have high expectations for this movie based on reviews I'd read, and based on the fact that I loved the book so much. I was pleasantly surprised; it did change a number of things from the book, but it still worked well. I particularly liked the casting choice for Susie Salmon--she was perfect.

Grizzly Man

It was fascinating to watch this movie while I was reading a book about the interaction between humans and animals. This is one of the best documentaries I've seen in a while; both the original footage as well as the scenes filmed by Timothy Treadwell were equally powerful. I expected the movie to be simply about animals and people, but it gets into issues of film, identity, and fame in unusual ways.

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

The Letter N

Netherlands

We read some books about the Netherlands; S-Boogie particularly liked this one. For dinner I made hutspot with smoked sausage. It was really tasty. We also watched the movie Hans Brinker and ate some apple cake that I made from a recipe that I got from a kids' cookbook.

New Zealand

We read books and colored the flag; the kids insisted on reading this book many times and really liked it. We also listened to some music from New Zealand and ate meat pies for dinner. They were really tasty and a big hit with the kids--I cut the meat in half and added some diced potatoes. I don't have little pie dishes so I cooked them in custard cups; they were a bit of work, but a really tasty dinner and something I want to make again. If the kids were a little older I would watch Whale Rider with them, but they aren't quite big enough yet. I also wanted to make pavlova and I just didn't have time that week, so I felt a little sad about it.

Nigeria

Mr. Fob and I liked the food I cooked quite a bit: baked fish, roasted plantain, and some greens stewed with coconut milk and cayenne. The kids weren't really fans, but they liked the music and reading this book.

Norway

We ended up having a busy week and didn't really get to read many books for this country; I had checked out this picture book and I thought it looked interesting, but we never read it with the kids. I had trouble finding some Norwegian recipes online, but this pork roast seemed to fit the descriptions I had read so we ate it with some mashed potatoes and a salad. I thought it was pretty tasty. I also made an almond cake but ended up eating a lot of it myself because that was the weekend everyone got a stomach virus.