Yesterday after we came home from church, S-Boogie asked me about something she had heard in a talk. "Mom, why would that girl say you can't be a missionary and a mom?" We had a lovely youth speaker who generally did a great job with her talk. I don't know her well, but her family is one that I admire a lot for many reasons. Her talk was on missionary work, and as part of it she mentioned the fact that her mother had really wanted to serve a mission but chose to get married instead. This confused S-Boogie, since I served a mission before getting married and having children, and so did four of her aunts.
I have sometimes heard this dilemma presented in this way before: the woman who sacrifices going on a mission in order to get married and have children. This frustrates me because, as is proved thousands of times each year, it is entirely possible to do both. There is not a dichotomy and girls shouldn't feel like their only two choices at 21 are to get married or to go on a mission. Or, even worse, that going on a mission means they won't get married. I actually found that going on a mission made me more confident when I got back, and for some mysterious reason it made me more attractive to many guys. I also get frustrated when I hear people present this sort of dichotomy for women with regards to education and work. Yes, there are some full-time careers that aren't very compatible with parenting. But most women I know who have kids still get some kind of education and do some kind of work; pitting these two things against each other limits girls in thinking about their options for their future and makes it much harder to see how complex reality is.
To be fair to our youth speaker, she is young. I know that I'm still "young" too, but I think I'm getting old enough to see how much more rigid my thinking was as a youth. I also recognize that many women have good opportunities to marry early and that going on a mission is not the right decision for everyone, whether or not there is another obvious choice available at the time. I wouldn't want S-Boogie to assume that she is required to serve a mission before she gets married. What I really want for her is to have the skills she needs to study out her choices, weigh her options, and prayerfully decide what the best way to live her life is. I am glad that S-Boogie feels confident to ask me questions when she gets confused about the different messages she gets from the world around her, and I hope she keeps asking them.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Green
The other day I was driving Little Dude home from preschool when he mentioned something about holding a clover in his hand. For some reason that triggered a memory from my life when I was the same age. I can vividly remember sitting on my lawn in March, hunting for clovers. The grass was soft and slightly slippery, the air rich with the scent of dirt. Many of my memories from my early childhood are similarly vivid recollections of my time outside, close to the ground and the plants. Then I looked around remembered that March in Utah means that things are still barren, brown, and cold. In California, March is the greenest month. Winter rains bring a wash of green to the hills and make the grass and flowers lush. I felt a little pang at the fact that my children do not have the same childhood experiences that I had--the same freedom to explore outside year-round. I miss California most in January; it's not the warm, sunshine of summer that I miss, but the cool, green, misty winters
I also realized that I have now lived in Utah for nearly as long as I ever lived in California. We bought a home here. I have a Utah driver's license. My three children were born here. For many years I spent a lot of time thinking about (and talking about) moving somewhere else. I do still miss the ocean. But I love looking out the window each day to a view of snow-covered mountains. I love that view in the spring when the mountains turn a fuzzy green, in the summer when they begin to brown, and in the fall when for a few weeks they blaze orange and yellow. I need to spend more time getting to know my new home in the physical, sensory way that I knew California as a young child. I think I also need to get my children to spend more time outside in it as well. Even if it is cold here in March; that's why coats were invented. After so many years here I'm finally making peace with the fact that green may be optional and that outwear is often not.
I also realized that I have now lived in Utah for nearly as long as I ever lived in California. We bought a home here. I have a Utah driver's license. My three children were born here. For many years I spent a lot of time thinking about (and talking about) moving somewhere else. I do still miss the ocean. But I love looking out the window each day to a view of snow-covered mountains. I love that view in the spring when the mountains turn a fuzzy green, in the summer when they begin to brown, and in the fall when for a few weeks they blaze orange and yellow. I need to spend more time getting to know my new home in the physical, sensory way that I knew California as a young child. I think I also need to get my children to spend more time outside in it as well. Even if it is cold here in March; that's why coats were invented. After so many years here I'm finally making peace with the fact that green may be optional and that outwear is often not.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
If I had a million dollars
I didn't post about it right away, but about two weeks ago I tried out for Jeopardy! Again. This is the third time, and I hope that it does the trick. I've already blogged about my other two tryouts (here and here) and this was pretty much the same. I'm not supposed to talk about it so I don't give anyone else a leg up. The bottom line is that I'm back in their contestant pool for next season and so for the next year I get to hope for a phone call inviting me to LA for a taping.
One of the things they ask everyone in the interview part of the tryout is what you would do with the money if you won big on the show. Of course the chances of my getting on the show are slim enough that I have tried not to even think about the possibility of winning. On the other hand, I'd love to have some extra money and I'm only human so of course I've thought about what I would do. I would be responsible and pay off my one student loan and pay off our car, since they are fairly small and unnecessary debt. I have also always wanted to go on a cruise, or if I had enough money I'd go back to Spain. The thing I said at my tryout was that I would like to buy some art.
Our walls in our home are fairly bare and I admit to being fairly flummoxed with decorating. It terrifies me. I also don't want to go out and buy generic just to put things up; I like to display things that have some kind of meaning or value to me personally. I also like to support artists as well and I like the prestige of feeling like I own something original or unique. So if I had some extra money I'd buy some art for my walls. Right now we don't have much religious art at all because I don't like a lot of the stuff out there. I didn't think I like Kirk Richards' art very much either, until someone linked to his Gethsemane painting. I like that one, but I think I like this one even more. I have also had the opportunity to meet Leslie Graff a few times and think she's an amazing person as well as an amazing artist. She's already sold some of my favorite paintings, but there are a number of other ones I'd love to have. Those are two of the artists that I have in mind, but I'm sure I could find others if I looked around.
If you had some extra money just for fun, what would you spend it on?
One of the things they ask everyone in the interview part of the tryout is what you would do with the money if you won big on the show. Of course the chances of my getting on the show are slim enough that I have tried not to even think about the possibility of winning. On the other hand, I'd love to have some extra money and I'm only human so of course I've thought about what I would do. I would be responsible and pay off my one student loan and pay off our car, since they are fairly small and unnecessary debt. I have also always wanted to go on a cruise, or if I had enough money I'd go back to Spain. The thing I said at my tryout was that I would like to buy some art.
Our walls in our home are fairly bare and I admit to being fairly flummoxed with decorating. It terrifies me. I also don't want to go out and buy generic just to put things up; I like to display things that have some kind of meaning or value to me personally. I also like to support artists as well and I like the prestige of feeling like I own something original or unique. So if I had some extra money I'd buy some art for my walls. Right now we don't have much religious art at all because I don't like a lot of the stuff out there. I didn't think I like Kirk Richards' art very much either, until someone linked to his Gethsemane painting. I like that one, but I think I like this one even more. I have also had the opportunity to meet Leslie Graff a few times and think she's an amazing person as well as an amazing artist. She's already sold some of my favorite paintings, but there are a number of other ones I'd love to have. Those are two of the artists that I have in mind, but I'm sure I could find others if I looked around.
If you had some extra money just for fun, what would you spend it on?
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Primary songs I have known and loved
When the "new" Children's Songbook for Primary came out I had just graduated and moved on to Young Women's. I can still remember when we received a new songbook in the mail and how wonderful it was compared to the old orange book. There were so many new songs, plus the pictures and layout were so pretty. The other day I was playing through the songbook and realized how many songs I used to sing (that are still in the book) that just aren't emphasized in Primary as much as they used to be. Here are some of my favorites from days gone by:
Give Said the Little Stream: I always loved both the tune and the words of this song. Although it is still around in LDS culture, I know my kids don't sing it as often as I did while I was growing up, and the two times I've served in Primary we rarely used it at all. I'm not sure why; it's a fun song to sing and it has a great message as well.
Children All Over the World: I loved the different languages in this song and always looked forward to singing it. In fact, I can still remember some of the pictures from the posters our song leader used to teach us the song. But, it is a hard song to learn and has not been emphasized in any of the recent Primary Programs so I can see why no one sings it anymore. I still think it is due for a revival since it does teach the doctrine of prayer as well as the unity of all Church members worldwide.
I Wonder When He Comes Again: I don't think I really understood what this song was talking about (the Second Coming) until I was an adult, but I loved the tune and the words and would sing it often.
Oh, What do You do in the Summertime?: This song is so much fun, but I think that it has gone the way of many songs that don't have to do with doctrinal topics. Plus it is fairly American-centric in many of its images so it really wouldn't work in a lot of other cultures. I will probably teach it to my kids just for fun, even if they never get to sing it in Primary.
Our Primary Colors: This probably went away with the de-emphasizing of Primary symbols and the re-emphasizing of gospel doctrine. I still like to sing it for fun.
I Am Like a Star: I think this is a very sweet song and a lovely tune, so we really should sing it more often. Now that we don't have class names and 'class songs' this one gets forgotten and not used much, but I still think it is a great song.
Genealogy (I am doing it): I've noticed that in newer versions of the Songbook they have changed this song to "Family History". I imagine that's easier for kids to say, and it goes along with new Church conventions in calling it 'family history'. I just always loved saying 'genealogy" even if I didn't really know what it was.
The Chapel Doors: I don't know if people still sing this one or not; the message is certainly still appropriate for kids, but I don't remember singing it much in either of the Primaries I've been in charge of. The funny thing is that when I sing it I still picture the doors of the building in San Diego where I attended church as a small child.
There are plenty of songs that my children sing that I remember fondly, like Love is Spoken Here, I Love to See the Temple, Book of Mormon Stories, and so on. I also love some of the newer songs, like Scripture Power, My Eternal Family, On a Golden Springtime, He Sent His Son, When I Am Baptized, and A Child's Prayer. I wonder if there will be a newer songbook by the time my children are parents, and what the new songs will be.
Give Said the Little Stream: I always loved both the tune and the words of this song. Although it is still around in LDS culture, I know my kids don't sing it as often as I did while I was growing up, and the two times I've served in Primary we rarely used it at all. I'm not sure why; it's a fun song to sing and it has a great message as well.
Children All Over the World: I loved the different languages in this song and always looked forward to singing it. In fact, I can still remember some of the pictures from the posters our song leader used to teach us the song. But, it is a hard song to learn and has not been emphasized in any of the recent Primary Programs so I can see why no one sings it anymore. I still think it is due for a revival since it does teach the doctrine of prayer as well as the unity of all Church members worldwide.
I Wonder When He Comes Again: I don't think I really understood what this song was talking about (the Second Coming) until I was an adult, but I loved the tune and the words and would sing it often.
Oh, What do You do in the Summertime?: This song is so much fun, but I think that it has gone the way of many songs that don't have to do with doctrinal topics. Plus it is fairly American-centric in many of its images so it really wouldn't work in a lot of other cultures. I will probably teach it to my kids just for fun, even if they never get to sing it in Primary.
Our Primary Colors: This probably went away with the de-emphasizing of Primary symbols and the re-emphasizing of gospel doctrine. I still like to sing it for fun.
I Am Like a Star: I think this is a very sweet song and a lovely tune, so we really should sing it more often. Now that we don't have class names and 'class songs' this one gets forgotten and not used much, but I still think it is a great song.
Genealogy (I am doing it): I've noticed that in newer versions of the Songbook they have changed this song to "Family History". I imagine that's easier for kids to say, and it goes along with new Church conventions in calling it 'family history'. I just always loved saying 'genealogy" even if I didn't really know what it was.
The Chapel Doors: I don't know if people still sing this one or not; the message is certainly still appropriate for kids, but I don't remember singing it much in either of the Primaries I've been in charge of. The funny thing is that when I sing it I still picture the doors of the building in San Diego where I attended church as a small child.
There are plenty of songs that my children sing that I remember fondly, like Love is Spoken Here, I Love to See the Temple, Book of Mormon Stories, and so on. I also love some of the newer songs, like Scripture Power, My Eternal Family, On a Golden Springtime, He Sent His Son, When I Am Baptized, and A Child's Prayer. I wonder if there will be a newer songbook by the time my children are parents, and what the new songs will be.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
The End of the Alphabet
We finally finished our geography project! Things didn't always go was well as I had thought they would and the kids didn't respond quite like I had hoped either, but generally it was a lot of fun. They are a lot more aware of other countries and foods and notice when they are talked about in books or on movies. Little Dude still loves the flags too. Now they want to do the 50 states, so watch for that in a few weeks!
United Kingdom: We mostly focused on England and Wales for this week, since we had done Ireland and Scotland separately. As I was looking back over my posts, I don't think I ever listed Scotland. When we did Scotland we ate Scotch Broth and oatcakes for dinner. They were both delicious. We also read this fun book about a sheep and shortbread cookies for a treat. When we talked about England we ate roast beef with Yorkshire pudding and gravy. The kids loved it and so did I; I've never had it before and we will definitely be eating it again. We talked about how some of our favorite books, like Peter Rabbit, come from England.
Venezuela: We colored the flag and read some books about the country. The library didn't have any picture books about Venezuela, unfortunately. I tried making arepas with beans and cheese, but didn't have the right type of special cornmeal so they were not as good as the arepas I've had before. I need to get some and try again.
Vietnam: The library has a lot of books about Vietnam, but they mostly focus on the war. We've talked about war with the kids, but they're still kind of little to really understand so I haven't liked to focus too much on the more brutal parts of history when we've been doing our countries. I did get this book, which I think is a great one that touches on the subject, and this one which is just a nice picture book. We ate some really yummy sandwiches that I made with roasted pork loin.
Zimbabwe: Little Dude thinks that Zimbabwe has the best flag, and I agree. The kids also really liked the picture books I found: this one and this one. For dinner we ate a chicken stew that I found a recipe for in a library cookbook (it had chicken, spinach, tomatoes, and peanut butter in it) along with cornmeal and baked squash. We liked the food but the kids didn't.
United Kingdom: We mostly focused on England and Wales for this week, since we had done Ireland and Scotland separately. As I was looking back over my posts, I don't think I ever listed Scotland. When we did Scotland we ate Scotch Broth and oatcakes for dinner. They were both delicious. We also read this fun book about a sheep and shortbread cookies for a treat. When we talked about England we ate roast beef with Yorkshire pudding and gravy. The kids loved it and so did I; I've never had it before and we will definitely be eating it again. We talked about how some of our favorite books, like Peter Rabbit, come from England.
Venezuela: We colored the flag and read some books about the country. The library didn't have any picture books about Venezuela, unfortunately. I tried making arepas with beans and cheese, but didn't have the right type of special cornmeal so they were not as good as the arepas I've had before. I need to get some and try again.
Vietnam: The library has a lot of books about Vietnam, but they mostly focus on the war. We've talked about war with the kids, but they're still kind of little to really understand so I haven't liked to focus too much on the more brutal parts of history when we've been doing our countries. I did get this book, which I think is a great one that touches on the subject, and this one which is just a nice picture book. We ate some really yummy sandwiches that I made with roasted pork loin.
Zimbabwe: Little Dude thinks that Zimbabwe has the best flag, and I agree. The kids also really liked the picture books I found: this one and this one. For dinner we ate a chicken stew that I found a recipe for in a library cookbook (it had chicken, spinach, tomatoes, and peanut butter in it) along with cornmeal and baked squash. We liked the food but the kids didn't.
Sunday, March 06, 2011
In like a lion
In January I made a list of a bunch of goals I would like to accomplish. Some of them were little, one-time things, like finding a new dentist and getting my sewing machine fixed. Then stuff happened and I didn't get anything on my list done. January slid into February, and February is just too much fun with the baby's birthday and Valentine's Day. Suddenly last weekend I realized that it was already almost March and I had things that really needed to get done. So I made a grand new list and tacked it to my bulletin board.
Then last Sunday I started feeling weird. We watched the Oscars last Sunday night and I kept crying about random things, plus my body kept alternating between too hot and too cold. Monday morning I dragged myself to class, which thankfully I didn't have to teach because we were meeting in the library for research instruction. By Monday night I finally accepted that I was sick and not getting any better. Tuesday I spent most of the day lying around; my wonderful visiting teacher took Little Dude to playgroup in the morning, and my sister-in-law took him and the rest of the kids to her house for the afternoon. I thought by Tuesday night I was better, but instead I tossed and turned all night before waking up with a fever. So class was canceled on Wednesday and it took until Friday afternoon before I really felt like myself again. I will remember this next year when I'm trying to decide whether or not to get a flu shot.
Tomorrow I am determined to tackle some things on the to-do list, vacuum my carpets, mop the nasty sticky kitchen floor, take the kids to the library, and get my life back. As much fun as a week-long vacation sounds, when it is unplanned and spent in a state of feverish malaise, it's not fun at all.
Then last Sunday I started feeling weird. We watched the Oscars last Sunday night and I kept crying about random things, plus my body kept alternating between too hot and too cold. Monday morning I dragged myself to class, which thankfully I didn't have to teach because we were meeting in the library for research instruction. By Monday night I finally accepted that I was sick and not getting any better. Tuesday I spent most of the day lying around; my wonderful visiting teacher took Little Dude to playgroup in the morning, and my sister-in-law took him and the rest of the kids to her house for the afternoon. I thought by Tuesday night I was better, but instead I tossed and turned all night before waking up with a fever. So class was canceled on Wednesday and it took until Friday afternoon before I really felt like myself again. I will remember this next year when I'm trying to decide whether or not to get a flu shot.
Tomorrow I am determined to tackle some things on the to-do list, vacuum my carpets, mop the nasty sticky kitchen floor, take the kids to the library, and get my life back. As much fun as a week-long vacation sounds, when it is unplanned and spent in a state of feverish malaise, it's not fun at all.
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