Burdens

Today has been an interesting day on the internet. This morning I read this wonderful interview with a woman whose husband came out of the closet and divorced her. Then, later in the day, I read this article about man who came out of the closet, began divorce proceedings, was excommunicated, and committed suicide. It was interesting to read about two very similar situations that met with such completely different ends. The blessing and the curse of the Church seems to be the fact that it is made up of individuals. As individuals we all have the opportunity every day to make the world around us a kinder, more compassionate place, and it makes my heart break when I see people not doing that (myself included). No matter what someone has done, they should never feel as though their only option is to end their own life.

These articles also piqued my interest because of what is going on in my life right now. Back in February, Mr. Fob went on a business trip for a week. I started wondering what was going on when he forgot to call us at night because he was having too much fun there. And then when he got home, he was distant and moody and not happy in the least to see me. Finally after about a week he told me that he had realized that he wanted a divorce and that he was no longer happy in the life we were leading. I'll admit that my first reaction that night was relief, mostly because of the anxiety I had been feeling during the weeks up to that point. I also had a strange feeling of 'otherness' in my initial reaction; as though the words I were saying weren't coming from me directly. I could hear myself saying things, while still be aware that they were strange things for me to say. It was very odd.

Needless to say, after our initial talk I spent several months cycling through disbelief, bargaining, and anger. I tried coming up with the magic words that would somehow change the situation and make things better. We went on a few trips together, even some just by ourselves, and that did nothing for our relationship. I came to realize that love is a decision you have to make every day, and when you stop deciding to love, then the relationship dies.

Mr. Fob is in the process of moving out of our home right now. Next week we sign the papers and file them. It still feels unreal in some ways; this is not the life I thought I was getting. Right now I feel like I am trying to figure out where to go next. I'm negotiating the lines between compassion and codependence, acceptance and numbness, anger and fear and peace. Every hour is different, but at the same time I know deep down inside that I will be all right. I don't know what that means yet, but I do know it.

50 States: Letters I, K, and L

It's been a long time since I wrote up the states we've been working on. We've had some delays because of summertime, but we're still working through the alphabet.

Idaho: We read about how P is for Potato, but I thought it was the worst one in this series. The rhymes were really terrible. We also read Mailing May, which is a cute story from Idaho. For dinner we at baked trout and fried potatoes.

Illinois: The books we read included L is for Lincoln, Prairie Numbers, and Our Abe Lincoln. We ate some Chicago deep-dish pizza that was really delicious and we also watched the movie Home Alone since it is set in Chicago.

Indiana: We learned that H is for Hoosier, and we learned about Indiana's place in the abolition movement with this book. For dinner we had tenderloin sandwiches (which were delicious) and some sugar cream pie (which was a little too sweet for our tastes).

Iowa: We read H is for Hawkeye and Numbers in a Row, and I was a little disappointed that I couldn't find any other picture books set in Iowa. That seemed a little strange to me. For dinner we had a down-home meal of pork chops, mashed potatoes, and green beans.

Kansas: S is for Sunflower, and Kansas also has twisters and was the birthplace of Amelia Earhart. I also checked out some books in this intermediate series for S-Boogie. For dinner we tried bierocks, and they were absolutely delicious. I think we need to eat them again some time.

Kentucky: The kids liked reading B is for Bluegrass, but I had trouble finding any other picture books set in Kentucky. I think I need to do a better job looking. For dinner we had fried chicken (of course) with mashed potatoes and corn on the cob.

Louisiana: This state was fun because there are a number of fun picture books that talk about it. We read P is for Pelican and The Twelve Days of Christmas in Louisiana. We also read Ol' Bloo's Boogie Woogie Band, Lu and the Swamp Ghost, and Mr. Williams. For dinner one night we ate jambalaya, and we watched The Princess and the Frog one night and then made beignets. The kids really liked the beignets, especially since they recognized them from books we had read and from the movie.

Reading Roundup: August 2011

Remarkable Creatures by Tracy Chevalier

At first I didn't like the fact that this book was told by the two main characters in alternating chapters. The voice of one, in particular, bothered me and I didn't like the way she was written. However, after a while I got used to it and I liked this book after all. The story was interesting but I thought the writing could have been a little tighter and created more of a plot, rather than just retelling historic events.

The Nightingale by Morgana Gallaway

I have a read a number of books about the Middle East, but I think this is the first I've read that is set in contemporary Iraq. The plot really kept me reading and I thought the writing was pretty decent. It felt like it had a lot going on (action, romance, social commentary, political issues), but I would read a follow-up if the author writes one.

The Disappearing Spoon by Sam Kean

This book had a lot of information in it and took a long time to read, but I loved every page. This is the kind of book that makes you want to stop and share all the new things you've learned with everyone around you. I had so much fun reading it and I now know much more about the elements than I ever did before.

Crooked Letter, Crooked Letter by Tom Franklin

From reviews I had read, I expected this book to be a bit more 'literary' in style, but instead it was written more like a conventional mystery. I still enjoyed it quite a lot, despite figuring out some of the plot twists well in advance of the characters.

Shanghai Girls by Lisa See

This is a book I was reluctant to read because I was disappointed by the last book I read by Lisa See. Despite my efforts to not like it, I think this book is her best that I've read yet and I look forward to reading the sequel soon. I love historical fiction that draws me in to a time and place I'm unfamiliar with, and this book really does the job well.

Still Missing by Chevy Stevens

This book was the one that made me realize that I have been reading too many crime-based books and I need to take a break. The premise of the plot is really interesting, but the writing totally turned me off. The book is written as a series of monologues by the main character to her therapist, recounting her kidnapping and imprisonment by a madman. This creates the problem of having too much dialogue that veers towards telling more than showing, and a thoroughly unlikable character for the first part of the book when she is still angry, bitter, and foul-mouthed. I think it is really interesting to imagine this story told in a different way. It might be better.

All that was Promised by Vickie Hall

The strength of this book was the characterization. The main characters were all really well-written, but the plot seemed to lack a lot a central organizing thread and felt like it was just progressing along a line of events that were pre-determined. I wondered how much of the story was historical fact that was just being 'checked off a list'. I also really don't like books that are obviously setting up for a sequel in the end, rather than having a clear resolution (this was particularly annoying because it was the second such book I read in the space of a few weeks).

In the Garden of Beasts: Love, Terror, and an American Family in Hitler's Berlin by Erik Larson

I keep trying to like Larson's books, because I like history and the cover blurbs always promise some kind of action or suspense. But, the writing style never manages to live up to that promise and I sometimes feel as though I am missing something when I finish. I did like this one much more than the last one of his that I read, but it still felt fairly anti-climatic when it was over.

Movies

Twilight

Yes, I'm embarrassed that this is the only movie we watched this month. We don't have much time for movies any more. It really was as bad as I thought it was going to be, not only in the storyline but also in the production quality. It was a good movie to laugh at.