Yellow Wallpaper

Remember how in February I really got into exercise and made some great progress? Well, then in March I totally fell off the wagon. I haven't exercised at all since then. School and work and everything just got overwhelming and I've been kind of down all month. I know that exercise would probably help with that feeling, and probably fix some of the sleep issues that have been creeping back into my life. I should try again to get back in the habit. Obviously I totally fell off the blogging bandwagon as well. Looking back over my calendar I don't see anything too out of the ordinary that would make this month feel so stressful. Well, actually I only really ended up with one kid-free weekend instead of my usual two. Out of the past five weekends, only one has been completely without the kids. This weekend they were mostly with Mr. Fob, but my dad came into town on Friday evening to watch S-Boogie's play, so yesterday I picked them up for lunch with their Grandpa and then...

Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell This was the only book I read this month that was not a Whitney finalist, and I totally loved it. This has been my latest 'favorite' book that I tell everyone about and insist that they read. I loved the layered aspects of the story--some reviews I read hated the 'fan fiction' parts, but I love it when authors create a world within the story that ties into the rest of the story. I love reading the characters' writing and figuring out how that helps tell their story and how it fits in with what's going on in the book. Although Cath's freshman year is very different from how mine was, I still could relate to her experiences as an anxious, geeky girl trying to find her way in the world for the first time on her own (heck, I'm almost 36 and I still feel like an anxious, socially-awkward nerd). This is a great coming of age book and I think most people would like it. Deep Cover by Traci Hunter Abramson I've read several o...

I just did a search through old blog posts and discovered that my favorite word to use in describing posts that contain a number of unrelated ideas is "random". I have a number of posts titled things like "random brain dump" or "random stuff". I used to blog a lot more about focused, specific things. Apparently I don't have opinions anymore about anything and am now just using the blog as a public journal to keep track of what's been happening in my life. I think part of the problem is the fact that I don't have a lot of time to sit and think about stuff, I don't have a lot of time to write it out, and some of the stuff I have opinions about has to do with sensitive things like my job and my divorce that I don't want to talk about publicly. Well, things change, and I guess after nearly 8 1/2 years of blogging I should be happy that I still have a few friends out there reading what I write.  The last two weeks have been normal--busy, t...

The first week of February went surprisingly well. The weather has been cold and either snowy or rainy, which I actually like since it clears out the air and makes winter a little more normal. Last Saturday night I took S-Boogie to see the ballet Swan Lake on campus; I've never gone to a ballet other than The Nutcracker so it was an interesting, new experience. I really liked enjoyed the performance a lot, though S-Boogie was a bit tired by the end and wasn't sure if she had fun or not. Monday was P. Bibby's birthday--I feel like the last four years have flown by, despite the fact that life is so different from how I imagined it would be back then. We started celebrating on Sunday with a family party that evening. I also invited the kids' summertime nanny since she is one of P. Bibby's favorite people. The party went well and she got a lot of great presents that she's been playing with all week. My attempt at making homemade pizza for dinner was an unfortuna...

The Flight of Gemma Hardy by Margot Livesey I've read Jane Eyre more than once and have never quite loved it or understood why so many people like it. The romance between Jane and Rochester is particularly odd to me--the paternalistic nature of it and their differences in age and maturity turn me off. This book is a somewhat loose retelling of Jane Eyre set in Scotland during the 1950s and 60s. As an adaptation I thought it worked fairly well, especially since it did not completely adhere to the book (especially in the end), and I liked Gemma more than I ever liked Jane. My only problem with it was that the romance ended up seeming even more creepy and weird in the updated, more modern version. The House at Rose Creek by Jenny Proctor  I was surprised that this book ended up in the general fiction category rather than the romance category, since I had it pegged as a romance. However, it is also the story of a woman's self-discoveries, personal change, and conversion t...

Why is January always so crappy? I wish I knew. Actually, this January was slightly better than January was last year. Last year the weather was much colder and Little Dude had a broken foot. At least this year the temperatures were closer to normal winter weather, though we've had very little snow and way too many days of nasty, hazy inversion. If I'm going to live in a state with winter, I'd like some decent winter weather.  About two weeks ago P. Bibby got sick with a fever and a cough. I knew a virus was going around and thought that she'd be sick for a few days and then get better. She had a fever Monday and was still sick on Tuesday. Then, on Wednesday when I got home from work she looked much worse, rather than much better like I had hoped. I took her temperature and watched the thermometer climb up to nearly 104! I was able to get her in to see the after-hours doctor and was actually relieved when he looked in her ears and diagnosed them as both infected. In m...

About once a month I have a few days that are just terrible. Everything is bleak and awful, I'm a terrible person, and my life is just plain hopeless. Than I wake up one morning and things are great again (well, things are less-than-great physically for a few more days, but mentally they are fine). Despite the fact that this happens regularly every 30 days, when I am in the middle of it I have a hard time remembering that what I am feeling is just temporary and will eventually go away if I just wait it out. Although some of the things I feel or say during those days may be true, or at least partially true, I should more closely examine my conclusions once my brain is a little more calm. Hence, last night's blog post and today's reconsideration of my thoughts.  A few years ago I read about an idea that, while it makes perfect sense, I'd never heard articulated so clearly before. For some reason it just had never penetrated into my brain, and obviously it didn't mak...

One thing I don't like about myself is that my brain has this weird panic reaction when plans change or things don't go as I had expected they would. I know what you're thinking--isn't that how life is every day? Things never go like they should, so aren't I freaking out all the time? Well, yes and no. I've learned to deal with it most of the time and generally I can roll with the punches. But, if I'm already stressed out or something, the automatic reactions take over and I end up looking like a crazy person.  Today at the beginning of Primary I had a weird interaction with someone. This morning I got a call from one of the counselors in the presidency asking if I might be willing to help with piano a bit during junior primary. Our regular pianist was going to be gone for that hour and we had a found a substitute, but she wouldn't be available until later in the hour for singing time. Playing the piano is not a problem for me at all so I agreed to do ...

Today was a good Sunday; last week we switched to morning church again after a year of afternoons. The later schedule was nice in some ways, especially since every other week I had a morning off without kids. Even with that little 'perk' I still didn't like it very much. So far the last two weeks have gone well and we've gotten there right on time and with a lot less stress than we did at 1:00. When we have church first thing I feel a lot less stressed out because we haven't had all morning to deal with before we go. It's easier to just wake up, get ready, and head out the door. This morning the kids were with Mr. Fob; I got up and dressed before he dropped them off--then they quickly changed and we got out the door. Sacrament meeting was uneventful and Primary went well. P. Bibby has been a Sunbeam for two weeks now and really loves it. It helps that she's the oldest in the class and does preschool with several of the other kids so she knows them well alrea...

As I sit here Sunday night, I feel anxious about jumping back into our routine tomorrow morning. After two weeks of being off school and having plenty of lazy mornings for everyone I think re-entry is going to be rough. This week was pretty relaxing, even with three days of work included in it.  I had to work on Monday, but the kids didn't have to be anywhere so it was nice to just get up and get myself ready instead of having to try and get all of us out the door. The workday was a bit stressful simply because it was our last day of 2013 and we had things that needed to get done. This was my first year in this job doing all the year-end tasks and I've been stressed out for the last few weeks with making sure everything gets done right. Doing something for the first time is always tricky and I hope next year will be better. Monday night was a fairly typical night and I tried to get the kids to bed at a reasonable time.  Tuesday morning we started out with homemade waffles ...

(Previous years: 2012 , 2011 , 2010 , 2009 , 2008 , 2007 ) I read 88 books in 2013. This is about 10 less than the previous two years, but still quite a lot of books. As has been the trend for a few years now, the number is padded by the amount of books I read for the Whitney Awards at the beginning of the year.  I only read 8 nonfiction books and 80 fiction books. Although my number of nonfiction books read has been dropping for years, I didn't realize the ratio had become so lopsided. I think there are a number of reasons for this. 23 of the books I read were Whitney Finalists, which are all going to be fiction. I also read more reviews of fiction books, and I often get ideas about what to read next from recommendations on sites like Amazon, so when I read fiction I get recommendations for other fiction. This year and last I have also gravitated toward easier, less literary books because I have used reading more for escape than I used to in the past. I have started a few nonf...

Champion by Marie Lu  Even after reading the first two books in this series I still didn't feel very invested in it. The characters just weren't that interesting to me; however, the world that had been built was interesting and so I decided to read the final book just to see how things turned out. The author made some interesting choices and I thought wrapped the series up well. Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain I've been hearing about this book for a long time and finally got around to reading it. It was a lot more engaging and readable than I initially thought it was going to be. I really liked it and felt like I learned a lot about personality and how that interacts with culture and society. I'm still not sure if I'm an introvert or an extrovert, but at least I feel better about owning my personality traits and working with them rather than against them.  Rocky Road by Josi Kilpack  I thought this boo...

I took the entire week of Christmas off for the first time since going back to work a few years ago.I had the vacation time saved up, the kids were off school, and vital computer systems were going to be unavailable at work, so it seemed like a good idea. While the week hasn't been as relaxing or productive as I (foolishly) thought it would be, it's still been a lot of fund. I'm glad I had the time to spend with my kids and family even though the time went by much too fast.  Last Sunday night S-Boogie went to spend the night with her cousin, and then spent most of Monday with her as well. I woke up on Monday morning feeling energized and spent a few hours cleaning the house. Little Dude and P. Bibby helped out for a while before I sent them downstairs to watch Dora so I could finish things up by myself. That afternoon Little Dude helped me shovel snow off the driveway and make some candy cane cookie s and a batch of Rolo turtles . It was a relaxing, fun day and a good way...

My last "real" post was called "Back on the Wagon" and was over six weeks ago. Oops. I was feeling optimistic at the beginning of November, but my feeling didn't last. It turned out to be a crazy month, with a lot of different things going on for me, topped off by a visit from a nasty stomach virus for all three of the kids. I did manage to get my final paper written for my class; it took longer than I expected it to and turned out to be somewhat difficult to write. Part of that is my fault for not choosing a better research question and part of it is the fault of my instructor for giving vague directions for the final paper. Oh well--the semester is over and turned out well. Now I have a nice long break until mid-January and I want to make the most of it. ******* As much as I'd like to relax and enjoy my break, however, nothing is going to be calm until after Christmas. Even when I try to keep things simple, they still are hard. This year I decided to s...

Safe Passage by Carla Kelly I have liked all of Carla Kelly's books that I've read so far, and this one was just as good. I don't think it was my favorite, partly because there wasn't as much personal growth in the main character as in some of her other books. I also thought it was interesting that the main focal character was actually the man in the relationship--and even though this book is advertised and presented as a romance, it really felt more like a historical adventure narrative rather than romance. Rose Under Fire by Elizabeth Wien Wien's book Code Name Verity was one of my favorites last year so I was eager to read this one. I think some of that eagerness set me up for too high of expectations, though, because it took me a while to get into this book since I kept comparing it to the one I read last year. Also, this book starts somewhat slowly--there is a reason for that and the writer plays a great trick on the reader with this technique, but it ...