Yellow Wallpaper

Last week I set goals to reduce the amount of time I spend on personal internet business at work and to not be on the internet in the evening between work and the kids' bedtime. Honestly, I didn't do a great job with either goal at all last week. I started out the week tired and things went downhill from there. It becomes a spiral, where I'm tired so willpower is harder, and then I don't do the things I want to do so I just decide to give up and have no discipline and stay up late wasting time. Then, when I'm tired at work I feel more distracted and am more likely to spend time on the internet. I have a few excuses for things, like the fact that it's summer and we have family visiting and so everyone's schedule is out of whack, but the reality is that there will always be distractions and I need to just live with them instead of waiting for 'normal' to arrive. I also found myself rebelling somewhat against my self-imposed goals--including wanting to ...

Last week I talked about my desire to cut back on my use of the internet in the hopes that I could gain more willpower to make other positive changes, as well to find more balance in my life. I decided to start by simply logging my internet use in an attempt to understand exactly how much time I was spending and how I was spending it. For Monday through Saturday I wrote down all the times I spent on the internet and what I was doing during that time. I don't have a smartphone, partly because I didn't want to always feel tethered to the internet and the opportunity to constantly check my email and Facebook. However, after logging the amount of time I spent, I've realized that between the fact that I'm on a computer all day at work and the placement of my laptop in my bedroom, it doesn't really matter that I don't have a smartphone. I think that, like most things, the internet is just a tool and can have many uses, both negative and positive. At this point in my ...

I recently read a book about willpower and self-control that I thought had a lot of interesting ideas in it. I, like most people, feel like I have a lot I want to improve in my life. On the one hand, I think I'm doing pretty well in the life that I have. I get up and go to work every day and generally get my work done when I need to; my kids are always fed and clothed; my bank accounts and credit card aren't overdrawn and I have money in the bank; I have some food storage and I stay within my budget; my house is mostly clean most of the time and the laundry and dishes get done regularly; we go to church every week and I mostly get the things done for my calling that I need to. Outwardly I think I'm doing all right and I fulfill most of my obligations to my family, my job, and other people as best I can. Inwardly, though, I'm a bit of a mess. I don't get enough sleep, I don't read my scriptures or pray very often at all, I haven't been to the temple for a wh...