Yellow Wallpaper

My last "real" post was called "Back on the Wagon" and was over six weeks ago. Oops. I was feeling optimistic at the beginning of November, but my feeling didn't last. It turned out to be a crazy month, with a lot of different things going on for me, topped off by a visit from a nasty stomach virus for all three of the kids. I did manage to get my final paper written for my class; it took longer than I expected it to and turned out to be somewhat difficult to write. Part of that is my fault for not choosing a better research question and part of it is the fault of my instructor for giving vague directions for the final paper. Oh well--the semester is over and turned out well. Now I have a nice long break until mid-January and I want to make the most of it. ******* As much as I'd like to relax and enjoy my break, however, nothing is going to be calm until after Christmas. Even when I try to keep things simple, they still are hard. This year I decided to s...

A few weeks ago I found a deal online for half-off a fresh Christmas tree, delivered to your home. I'm always a fan of a bargain, plus I'm lazy and liked the idea of home delivery, so I ordered a tree. I thought it was going to be here over the weekend but it didn't show up until today. It is spectacular: a giant noble fir with thick, green needles and an overwhelming smell of pine. The tree takes up an entire corner of our living room. Its heavenly. So we let the kids stay up late decorating the tree and drinking hot chocolate. We listened to Frank Sinatra and discussed all of our special ornaments, though I think my little candy canes that I bought at Pic-n-Save twelve years ago have finally bit the dust. The kids were thrilled with the tree and I am so grateful to have a lovely home with room for a beautiful tree and a mantel just right for hanging stockings. I have a feeling that this is going to be a wonderful Christmas; the kids are old enough to be excited about ever...

Mr. Fob and I both agree: this year was a good Christmas. It was nice to not go anywhere and to just enjoy some time with family and friends. We've also been overwhelmed with generous gifts and I'm excited because the kids really like everything they got from everyone. Yesterday we spent the day making and decorating gingerbread cookies, and then we drove around delivering them to friends and caroling. We had meant to get out earlier in the day, but we were lazy and didn't finish up until evening. Thankfully we still caught a few people at home and were able to sing to them. This morning the kids slept until about 7:30 and then got us up to unwrap presents. They got quite a lot of nice things this year. We got S-Boogie a Barbie house and Little Dude a firetruck and some racing cars. They also got some books from us and from Grandma and Grandpa (my parents). Their books from my mom included matching stuffed animals, plus she got them some fun puzzle games from the 'teach...

...is to be in our new house! Well, and a million dollars. Seriously, though, I'm only writing a post with my Christmas list for the benefit of the few readers out there who are already thinking of buying me a present. Didn't know where else to put it, so I apologize to everyone else for my self-indulgent post. Chocolate--I always like chocolate, preferably dark. I like Sees chocolates, Ghiradelli squares, or basically anything tasty and good quality. Or Ritter Sport bars with cookie in them. Gift cards for Target or Ikea --I've got bad nesting urges going right now, plus we're moving into a new home. A sewing machine--speaking of crafty urges, I'd love to get back into sewing again. Subscription for Irreantum or the New Yorker Money for a massage, pedicure, or a new haircut Diapers (not for me, for the occupant of my uterus who will be exiting soon) I've also been thinking about family gifts and I think money for S-Boogie to take dance classes, a swimming po...

The postal service did not deliver our anticipated package today, and the seller says she shipped it to us as soon as she could, so I found myself battling the crowds at Target to buy Little Dude a sleeping bag. It's not super cute, but it was cheap and he will love it. And now we'll have an extra kid-size sleeping bag on hand for when we need it. The yuckiness of Target on Christmas Eve was the only bad spot in an otherwise lovely day that included making gingerbread cookies with the kids and getting together with friends tonight. Tomorrow we're leaving for a few days, and even though we have to bring the computer so Mr. Fob can work, I've decided to try going offline for a few days. We'll see how that works out for me. Hope everyone has a lovely Christmas!

Christmas is only a week away and I feel like we've been doing a good job balancing our celebrating of the season without doing too much. Last night we printed off and prepared our Christmas letters for friends and family, and today I mailed them at the post office. I also mailed off our present for Mr. Fob's sister (his family does a name exchange, so we only have to get a gift for one other person), and a package for a soldier. Monday night for FHE we all drew Christmas pictures for a soldier in need, then yesterday I bought a few fun things for them at Target and we mailed it off. I wanted the kids to do some kind of holiday service, and sending nice notes and little treats to someone seemed like something we could do. My dad has spent the holidays deployed overseas, and I know that it can be scary and lonely without anyone to support you. So if you're looking for someone to send a little something to, check out this website for more information. Yesterday morning I als...

Yesterday afternoon I rode my bike down to campus and slipped my last paper of the quarter under my professor's door. It was a great feeling. I actually found all three of my final papers this quarter to be somewhat easy to write. I put a lot of time into research and planning (literally hours on my Shakespeare paper) and for once I had plenty to say for each one. I'm still afraid that my professors are just going to laugh when they read my essays and then fail me, but at this point I don't think that would be the worst thing that could happen to me. So now I have three weeks of freedom; I celebrated last night by making a pear streusel cake, and then ate most of it today. Seriously. I made a conscious decision to have no self-control and just enjoyed myself. This morning Little Dude and I also went to the produce stand and had a heyday. It was awesome: broccoli for .33 a pound. I also spent $1.50 on five pounds of sweet potatoes. And I love living in a place where fresh ma...

Is it just me, or are you all looking at the calendar and saying "holy crap, it's almost Christmas!" too? Thanksgiving is so late this year that I feel like December is creeping up on me. My mom sent this meme to me through email so I thought I'd put it on my blog: 1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Bags, because I'm terrible at wrapping 2. Real tree or artificial? Definitely real for the feel and smell 3. When do you put up the tree? Whenever we have time; depends on our vacation plans 4. When do you take the tree down? We've been trying to leave it up through Jan 6 (Three Kings Day), but that depends on when we get it. It usually needs to stay up through January 1 5. Do you like eggnog? It's OK--I like eggnog ice cream best. 6. Favorite gift received as a child? Hmmm, hard to remember just one specific gift. I liked getting a bike and I remember getting My Little Ponies at various times. 7. Do you have a nativity scene? Two: a small one I bought at ...

We had another good Christmas this year. Last night we got together with some friends and had a nice dinner and program. It was a lot of fun, although I'm continually amazed by how much angst and drama a group of preschool girls can create for themselves. Thankfully our kids were both really tired and went to sleep easily last night. And neither is apparently big enough to be too excited about Christmas because they slept in until nearly eight this morning. We got up and opened presents; the kids ate cookies from their stockings for breakfast and we watched Little Dude's new Signing Time video. We already opened some presents in Utah with family, and they got some more fun things today: several books, a puzzle and new clothes for Little Dude, Candy Land and some Play Doh for S-Boogie. Mr. Fob got me a year-long membership to Curves, which was exactly what I wanted. It was a very generous present, especially since I just got him an alarm clock and an iTunes gift card. We spent ...

Another of my family's most treasured Christmas traditions was making and delivering cookies on Christmas Eve. My mom said she started it because she needed some way to get through the day without the kids going crazy. We would bake and decorate cookies in the morning and then spend the evening delivering them to friends. I've done that every year since leaving home, either with roommates or with Mr. Fob and our little family. I love baking and it's so fun to visit with everyone. This year S-Boogie helped cut out and decorate gingerbread cookies, and then I also made some little popcorn "clusters" (they were supposed to be balls, but it didn't really work out so well). I also tried a recipe for jam thumbprint cookies, but that didn't work out at all. First of all, it only made two dozen instead of four. Then I tried putting lemon curd in the second batch and it melted all over the place. So a few people got jam cookies, but most didn't. Oh well. This y...

Tonight we went to a live Nativity pageant at a nearby church. It's a lot of fun and the kids liked seeing the real donkey and sheep in the real stable. I was impressed by the amount of work that the members of this church had put into their play, and I also had the thought "well, of course, they want us to join their church." I know that missionary work was part of their goal, but I realized that behind that was a sincere joy in their belief. They really believe in Christ and want to share that with others. Of course I thought of my mission and of the joy I felt in sharing with others. Not just my testimony and not just with the expectation that they would join the church, but simple joy in our ability to get to know each other and learn more about life from that experience. It's hard to explain the kinds of relationships you have with people as a missionary because they are so different from anything else you experience later in life. Anyways, I thought I'd shar...

I read another blog post today bemoaning those "cheesy Christmas letters that everyone sends to brag about how perfect their family is". I felt a little defensive because our annual Christmas letter has become a treasured family tradition for Mr. Fob and I. And, while we do tend to highlight the good things, we really don't send it out to brag. We've been having a little trouble with getting this year's letter written and sent out on time, partly because we don't have a decent picture and partly because we're trying to find the best way to talk about what's been happening with us this year. I like to be honest about ourselves, but I also feel like we don't have to tell everyone every gory detail of our lives. Christmas is a time of peace and optimism, so I think our letters should reflect that. We started the tradition with our very first Christmas, even though we had only been married for a month. The idea was planted in a Sunday School lesson abo...

The one hard and fast rule in my house for Christmas morning was that you could not wake up Mom and Dad. They didn't care how early we got up, but we had to wait for them to get themselves up and ready before we could open presents. The wait was always excruciating. "Santa" usually left out one of our bigger gifts all assembled and ready to play with. Plus we got a special treat in our stockings: mini boxes of sugar cereal. The only day of the year when Fruit Loops and chocolate coins were an acceptable breakfast. When it was time to open presents, we would go around in a circle and take turns. I like doing that because it prolongs the process and you can watch what everyone else got. How do you do presents in your house? I just remembered that there was a year when I was in college that my parents managed to get up and dressed before any of the rest of us did. You know everyone is getting older when the parents actually have to drag the kids out of bed to open presents!

I guess we could call this post "Christmas Music Part 2". Last night at the party we were discussing what the worst Christmas songs ever were. No one brought up this one . My sister actually once had to do a tap dance routine to this song, complete with a felt hippo face safety pinned to her shiny red leotard (I think she was about 5 or 6). Speaking of dance, another family tradition we had was attending a performance of The Nutcracker each year. My mom also used to make new dresses for my sister and I each year for Christmas, so the performance was a good opportunity to show off our new clothes. When I was thirteen I got to wear pantyhose and high heels for the first time. That was exciting for a few months afterward, but then I figured out how uncomfortable true beauty is and gave up that habit. I wore white pumps with frilly ankle socks to my eighth grade graduation--I'm just a fashion rebel like that.

I'm writing this post very late at night because we were up in Ogden at a Christmas party with friends. Growing up I mostly remember celebrating Christmas with my immediate family. We lived far away from my grandparents and other relatives, so we never celebrated holidays with them. Since Mr. Fob and I have gotten married we've discovered the world of entertaining. We love having parties and attending parties with friends. My mom's family has also started an annual Christmas party that's quite a lot of fun and I'm grateful we were able to be in Utah this year for it. I don't know how much longer this partying of ours can last though, because kids make things difficult. At least tonight there was an extra bedroom S-Boogie could crash in, but I think we're going to have to start getting a babysitter for parties. Or maybe we should just move into a bigger home next year and start inviting people over to our place. That's a tradition I can certainly support.

Christmas music is a very important part of most people's feelings about the season. The interesting thing to me is how much the type of music varies from family to family. Growing up, I mainly remember two records that we listened to every year: Willie Nelson's Pretty Paper and another by some group of singers whose name I can't remember. That album had cool stuff on it like "What Are You Doin' New Year's Eve?", "Be a Santa", and "Do You Hear What I Hear?"; some day I want to dig out my parents' old record collection and figure out what it was. We also had (and still do have) the big Reader's Digest Christmas Songbook, and the rule was that you couldn't start playing that until after Thanksgiving. I sometimes wonder what our children will remember as far as Christmas music goes, because we've started a tradition of buying a new CD each year. We have a varied collection that includes CDs from Elvis, Mariah Carey, Celine...

One of the fun things about visiting my parent's house was the opportunity to see all of my mom's nativity sets. She's a big fan of "Jesus is the reason for the season" and has collected sets for years. This is a set I made for her when I was ten years old. I remember that for years during high school I was deeply embarrassed when she would show it off to people. All I could see were the imperfections (like the cardboard sheep with one leg). The funny thing is, seeing it for the first time in at least six or seven years, I was impressed with how well it was made. Heck, I was 10 and I came up with it all by myself. I guess I must be growing up after all. This is the set I bought for my mom when I was in Spain. Truthfully I'm a little jealous, since I didn't buy one for myself. But I have a cool set from Hawaii and hopefully some day I'll get back to Spain and can buy myself a new one. I also need to buy some turron --I've never been able to find any...

The other day a friend and I were talking about Christmas and she remarked "I've always thought of Christmas as a women's holiday, since it's about birth." She does have a point; although I think parenting is and should be an equal-opportunity responsibility, pregnancy and childbirth are still exclusively women's work. Last Sunday in my sister-in-law's ward I had the opportunity to listen to a fascinating talk on the spiritual symbolism of birth. The woman giving the talk works as a doula and she drew many interesting parallels between birth and gospel principles. For example, she talks about Christ's statement in Gethsemane as being similar to the transition statement ("I can't go on") that many women make during labor when they are needing extra support for the final push. I also liked the fact that she mentioned that she always felt that we did Mary a disservice by viewing the birth of Christ as something clean and sanitized. Mary is a...

I already posted last year about my feelings about Santa. He just wasn't a big deal in my house growing up, and I don't remember ever thinking of him as an actual, real being. One year, however, my sister and I got a note from Santa. I'm pretty sure I was seven that year, so my sister would have been six. We had asked for My Little Ponies that year, but instead we got a nice note from Santa explaining that so many children had asked for Ponies that we would need to wait until January 25th to get ours. So we played with our other presents and waited patiently. Then, on January 25th, we got our Ponies. I remember now being puzzled by the note because I was pretty sure that Santa wasn't real, but I hadn't really figured out that my parents left the presents. And I'm pretty sure that at that point in my life I didn't recognize my mother's handwriting. I wish I had saved that note because I sure would like to look at it now.

One tradition my family started at some point during my childhood was a tree decorating party. We didn't invite anyone else but ourselves, but always had fun food that my mom didn't normally buy. She'd even break out the punch bowl and we'd make some punch. We're not exactly a fancy cheese sort of family; our traditional foods lean towards chips and salsa and Lil' Smokies with barbecue sauce. Yum. Last night my parents had our party and the kids got to help decorate the tree. Actually, Little Dude worked on seeing if he could eat more Lil' Smokies than my dad, and S-Boogie helped decorate the tree. It was a lot of fun. I haven't had Christmas at my home for a while and it's fun to do some of the old traditions, even if none of my siblings were here. Also, I love our Christmas tree. I like the fancier trees with matching ornaments and a theme, but I'll admit that I still think my family's is the best. We have ornaments that are over thirty ye...