Yellow Wallpaper

I write a lot of things in my head and never manage to actually get them down somewhere more permanent. Sometimes I wonder if other people live like this, with a constant stream of narration in their own heads. I don't usually talk to myself directly and I feel weird doing that, but I like to comment on my day, analyze things, and describe them to other people. I've always liked to process things out loud, and since getting divorced this has been a lot harder since I don't have anyone around to do this with. Hence, trying to get back into blogging and journaling. I just need to sit down more often to write out the things I'm thinking.  We had a good Christmas this year. I hadn't been feeling much of the Christmas spirit since our schedule was compressed and the kids and I were at work and school through the 22nd. During the earlier part of the month I was also still recovering from my surgery, and so we didn't do very many festive things like we usually do. I ...

The kids had their Spring Break this past week. One of the hard things about being a working parent is the fact that when the kids have days off from school, you have to figure out what to do with them. One of us, or both of us, usually has to take time off work to take care of them; thankfully Mr. Fob has a flexible job so sometimes he doesn't even take time off and just has them hang out with him. Last year for Spring Break I took off part of the week and the kids and I went to Las Vegas to visit my parents. The year before that Mr. Fob took the older two to Disneyland, but left P. Bibby here because she was barely two years old. This year's Spring Break has been highly anticipated by everyone for several months. Mr. Fob took the week off work and drove all three kids down to California to spend a few days at Legoland.  It was a weird week for me--the first time I've ever had all three kids gone for such a long period of time. Their dad picked them up last Sunday evenin...

As I sit here Sunday night, I feel anxious about jumping back into our routine tomorrow morning. After two weeks of being off school and having plenty of lazy mornings for everyone I think re-entry is going to be rough. This week was pretty relaxing, even with three days of work included in it.  I had to work on Monday, but the kids didn't have to be anywhere so it was nice to just get up and get myself ready instead of having to try and get all of us out the door. The workday was a bit stressful simply because it was our last day of 2013 and we had things that needed to get done. This was my first year in this job doing all the year-end tasks and I've been stressed out for the last few weeks with making sure everything gets done right. Doing something for the first time is always tricky and I hope next year will be better. Monday night was a fairly typical night and I tried to get the kids to bed at a reasonable time.  Tuesday morning we started out with homemade waffles ...

I took the entire week of Christmas off for the first time since going back to work a few years ago.I had the vacation time saved up, the kids were off school, and vital computer systems were going to be unavailable at work, so it seemed like a good idea. While the week hasn't been as relaxing or productive as I (foolishly) thought it would be, it's still been a lot of fund. I'm glad I had the time to spend with my kids and family even though the time went by much too fast.  Last Sunday night S-Boogie went to spend the night with her cousin, and then spent most of Monday with her as well. I woke up on Monday morning feeling energized and spent a few hours cleaning the house. Little Dude and P. Bibby helped out for a while before I sent them downstairs to watch Dora so I could finish things up by myself. That afternoon Little Dude helped me shovel snow off the driveway and make some candy cane cookie s and a batch of Rolo turtles . It was a relaxing, fun day and a good way...

Now that Halloween is behind us and November has started, I feel like I'm staring straight down the barrel of the holiday season. I love Thanksgiving and I love Christmas, but they can also be stressful. I've also already started feeling sad because those holidays, especially Christmas, used to mean a lot of spousal love and togetherness--things that I don't have anymore. I was in the storage room tonight getting something and I noticed the wrapping paper, and I realized that I'll be wrapping the kids' presents alone this year. Maybe I should buy blue wrapping paper in honor of the occasion. Christmas every year always brings up mixed feelings for me when it comes to gifts. I've always struggled with buying good gifts for people, and I always struggle with the fact that I feel like a grinch when I realize that we don't need anything. I know gifts are not about need , but it feels silly to ask for anything when we have so much. I look around at the cupboar...

We had a church party on Friday night and then went trick-or-treating last night, so my kids certainly got plenty of Halloween this year. But since today was the actual holiday I wanted to do something a little special for them. I found a bunch of cute recipes and we had some 'spooky food' that was actually pretty healthy (except the hot dogs--once in a while can't hurt, right?). The kids loved the meal and generally ate most of it without a complaint. We had potato ghosts , hot dog mummies , fruity jack-o-lanterns , and witch fingers . I think this is going to be a new tradition in our house.

Mr. Fob and I both agree: this year was a good Christmas. It was nice to not go anywhere and to just enjoy some time with family and friends. We've also been overwhelmed with generous gifts and I'm excited because the kids really like everything they got from everyone. Yesterday we spent the day making and decorating gingerbread cookies, and then we drove around delivering them to friends and caroling. We had meant to get out earlier in the day, but we were lazy and didn't finish up until evening. Thankfully we still caught a few people at home and were able to sing to them. This morning the kids slept until about 7:30 and then got us up to unwrap presents. They got quite a lot of nice things this year. We got S-Boogie a Barbie house and Little Dude a firetruck and some racing cars. They also got some books from us and from Grandma and Grandpa (my parents). Their books from my mom included matching stuffed animals, plus she got them some fun puzzle games from the 'teach...

Despite the fact that we spent most of the summer travelling, I will admit to feeling a bit of the urge to go somewhere else for Thanksgiving this year. My aunt was hosting my extended family at her home in Wyoming, and my parents happen to live somewhere warmer than here--both good candidates for a road trip. But other people's illnesses, as well as 30 weeks of pregnancy, convinced me to stay home this year. Thankfully it's still been a fun holiday. Yesterday we had a small (but yummy) dinner with Mr. Fob's sister and her family. Then this morning we drove up to see some old friends who are here in Utah for the week; we had a fun few hours visiting with them while the kids played. After that we drove back to my sister-in-law's house for more leftovers. On the way we decided to stop at Ikea because we wanted lunch and because I was hoping to pick up a few things. We generally try to avoid stores on "Black Friday" but they didn't seem excessively busy and ...

I have loved this picture since I first saw it in my freshman art history class. It comes from the Isenheim Altarpiece by Matthias Grunewald, which was painted for a monastery and hospital. The painting of the crucifixion shows Christ as weak and sick, covered in horrible sores. Then, he rises whole and clean and powerful from the tomb. I love the colors of this painting and I love the composition, with the soldiers on the ground and the large yellow aura surrounding Christ. It also reminds me of one of my favorite hymns by Parley P. Pratt, which is a study in contrasts as well: Jesus, once of humble birth, Now in glory comes to earth. Once he suffered grief and pain; Now he comes on earth to reign. Now he comes on earth to reign. Once a meek and lowly lamb, Now the Lord, the great I Am. Once upon the cross he bowed, Now the chariot is his cloud. Now the chariot is his cloud. Once he groaned in blood and tears; Now in glory He appears. Once rejected by his own, Now their King he shall...

....that's an Irish lullaby ! And that's the song I've had stuck in my head all day. S-Boogie has been excitedly counting down to Saint Patrick's day for several weeks now. Grandma got her a magazine subscription for Christmas and it came with her very own calendar, so she keeps us informed about all the holidays. It turned out to be a good day. S-Boogie wore her green shamrock shirt and socks that she got last year (I'm glad they still fit) and Mr. Fob was magically delicious . Little Dude wore a green dinosaur shirt and was mostly uninterested in the holiday until dinnertime when he requested a green plate and a green bib. He even ate a few of his green noodles. As you can see, we had some 'green noodles' (the sauce is pretty tasty--it's a combo of pureed spinach and peas with cottage cheese and Parmesan ), kiwis, salad, and some "Irish-American Soda Bread" as the Joy of Cooking likes to call it (as they point out, the Irish don't put ...

As I've mentioned before, I don't have a problem with Valentine's Day. It's a good thing, because this morning Mr. Fob made pink pancakes shaped like hearts and we put strawberry syrup on them. He also put food coloring in the orange juice; Little Dude said Daddy "put Valentines in it" and that it "tastes like pink". It certainly did. Just another reason why Mr. Fob is so awesome . We're going to make heart-shaped sugar cookies later, and then tonight our home teacher and his wife are coming over to watch the kids while we go eat some falafel and go bowling. Should be a fun day.

So far we've had an enjoyable holiday season without much stress. Today we had some friends over to decorate gingerbread houses and it went well (except for the massive amount of extra candy left over--but that's not all that bad). Last night we had a fun little trip down to deliver cookies for the Thteed family and joined them for a tour of the temple lights. The kids had a good time and I always enjoy spending time with their family. I'm getting excited to see all my family and spend a few days enjoying a fun vacation in a warmer spot. We even managed to have our home teachers stop by tonight to get in their monthly visit. The only dark spot on our holiday is the delayed arrival of Little Dude's present. We found a great sleeping bag on EBay ten days ago and bid on it. I don't know what's happened to it since then. It wouldn't be a big deal if he didn't get that present until later, but I specifically wanted it for our trip. I know that he'll see S...

So I'm taking a little breather from writing papers to write a post. By Friday I should have my final projects all finished up and turned in and I hope I'll have a little more time to write things on here. I'm really looking forward to having three weeks of time off to do whatever I want. I've been having some trouble with my Amazon wish list, because the email connected to it no longer exists and I have no way to log in and update it anymore. Apparently changing the email on your Amazon account does not affect the email on your wishlist , but my password got changed and I don't know how to figure it out. I need to call customer service one of these days. I'm not really sure what I want for Christmas; there are a few kitchen things I wouldn't mind getting, and I'd really like this book , but that's about it. What I'd really like is for an angel to appear and lay out my future for me (or for someone to make housing prices drop here), but that'...

Thanksgiving went well; my parents got here on time, the turkey was tasty, and Little Dude ate only cranberry sauce for dinner. He was very cute asking everyone at the table, "can I have some cranberry sauce?" We've had a good day and now it's late, so I'd better get to bed and let things digest.

During the last week I seem to have been bitten by the baking bug. It's probably a way to avoid thinking about my homework and it's definitely influenced by the sale items at the grocery store. Last Friday we made pumpkin bars with cream cheese icing that were absolutely divine. Then tonight for FHE treat we had gingerbread, with eggnog to drink. Although both kids liked the gingerbread, they didn't like the eggnog. Little Dude was delighted by the snowman on the carton, but they both thought it was 'spicy'. The Thanksgiving menu is in place and my fridge is about ready to burst. Can't wait to cook that turkey and get it out of my fridge. Mr. Fob and I are also feeling the urge to make tasty appetizers like shrimp cocktail and cheese ball, but realize that this is foolish for a small family gathering. Then I had rememberd that my family tradition is to have a party for trimming the tree, so we'll probably do that on Saturday night. I'm already getting ex...

One of the ways I've been avoiding my homework this week is investigating Thanksgiving recipes online. The big day is only two weeks away and I'm working on solidifying my menu. Apparently writing my ten-page essay for next Tuesday is not as important as deciding which side dishes to serve. Mr. Fob and I decided that we're willing to buy turkey and are exploring our options to see if we can find something that will be both environmentally friendly and not break our budget. Thankfully we don't need a very big bird for our little group (my parents are coming), especially since I'm not a huge fan of turkey. Even though I haven't bought meat for about two months now, we both agree that you just can't have tofurky or Quorn for Thanksgiving. We're more into eating meat sparingly than not at all. And even though I think it's weird to have so many starches with one meal, we'll still have the traditional stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, and ro...

After nearly three days of Halloween fun I must say that I am ready to move on to a new month and a new holiday. It's a good thing we have a few weeks to decide what to cook for Thanksgiving. Turkey or no turkey? Or maybe we'll just skip the big dinner this year. Anyways, I am actually impressed with how well this year's Halloween went. The kids' costumes were simple and yet impressive. S-Boogie wanted to be a black cat, so she wore a black turtleneck and black tights (with black bike shorts over them to hide the panties). We got her some cat ears and a tail, and all we needed was a bit of face paint for whiskers. It was a hit and she loved her costume. Little Dude was a bat, in black sweat pants and black shirt. His wings are actually a large black napkin that Mr. Fob found at the store the other day. He cut a hole in it for Little Dude's head, cut the bottom edge in a bat-like scallop, and then we pinned the corners to the ends of Little Dude's sleeves. He lo...

We've had a fun few days here in our house, as evidenced by my tired eyes from late nights and my sore tummy from too much eating. Friday night Mr. Fob graduated for the third, and last, time since I married him. His mother came up to stay with us for a few days and my parents and sister came up on Friday (and left today) as well. Friday night we went to the graduation (the kids had a babysitter and we were all very grateful for it), yesterday we spent the morning cooking and the afternoon picnicking at the park, and today we attended sacrament meeting to see S-Boogie sing for Father's Day. Then this afternoon we ate even more food, including a special cake that S-Boogie decorated at the grocery store yesterday afternoon. It was a quick trip for my parents and sister, but I was glad we could all spend time together. I love the opportunity to see my kids interacting with their relatives and the good times we can have together. I also think that it is serendipitous that graduat...

I really love to cook, and I especially love to cook for the holidays. For me one of the things that makes a day special is a tasty home-cooked meal spent with those you love. This year I really thought hard about what to eat for Easter. We both love ham, but we're trying to move away from commercially processed meat. ( Plus it was only us and the kids, so I didn't feel like making a ham just for four people and I just did ham for Christmas). But then I found a cool recipe in The Joy of Cooking for "baked stuffed eggs". Basically you just make a white sauce, make deviled eggs using a few spoonfuls of the white sauce in place of the mayonnaise, and then bake the eggs in a pan with the rest of the sauce poured over them. I thought it was pretty tasty, although I think next time I would like to add some fresh herbs and perhaps some sauteed onion to the sauce. We also had roasted asparagus, a fruity jello with strawberries and pineapple, and rolls (shaped like bunnies). ...

A few years ago we decided that for birthdays and Christmas our kids would each receive three gifts: a new toy, a new book, and something to wear. I like the fact that limiting gifts forces us to be thoughtful about what we get her, it's easier on our budget, and it keeps events from dragging on through massive present orgies. I also like the fact that other people get her presents too, and I don't want grandma and grandpa feeling like they can't get her anything because she already has so much stuff. And more than anything we want special days to focus on the celebration and other traditions, not the loot. So far, this has worked out well for S-Boogie and for us. I don't think that she has an excessive amount of stuff, and she plays with and enjoys most of the things she has. I just realized that her birthday is coming up in a few weeks and I have no idea what we're going to get her this year. I really like simple toys that encourage imaginative, creative play and ...