Yellow Wallpaper

 I started this post a few weeks ago when I had a pretty crappy day. I got in an argument on Facebook, which I almost never do. I usually avoid commenting on anything controversial, but this time I jumped right in and fired off something without really thinking about it. It was the kind of issue where knee-jerk reactions are common, but it's complex enough that it probably shouldn't be a subject for Facebook discussion. I immediately felt bad about that, and then some other crappy things happened that day that I can't even remember. The next day, however, was great. Then a few days later I had another crappy day--I didn't sleep well the night before and there was heavy snow when I left for work, making my commute twice as long and much more stressful.The rest of the day didn't go so well either. That's pretty much how things have been for the month since my last post--some days are good, some not so good. My baby step goal of writing a little in a journal e...

This past week was not very good. I was tired and didn't sleep well most nights--I should have been writing a draft of my paper that is due next Sunday, but I haven't done it yet. There were several nights where I felt exhausted and decided to try going to bed early instead of writing, and instead I didn't fall asleep right away so I was still tired and I have no draft of my paper. I also spent most of the week stressing about our final exam that took place this morning. Spoiler alert: I took the exam and think I did a pretty reasonable job even though it's hard to write seven decent short essays in 75 minutes. We're all adjusting after the death of our sweet kitty last Saturday. Surprisingly the kids have been mostly fine with the new state of things. My other kitty spent the first few days wandering the house and meowing, which was more heartbreaking than actually saying goodbye to the other cat. She peed on the couch on Monday but has otherwise not changed her ...

While I was making dinner on Thursday night I heard the unmistakable sounds of kitty barf happening in the hallway. I got there too late to move the cat, but realized that she was barfing up a large quantity of white foam and water. As soon as I saw that, my heart sank--that's exactly what has happened the last two times she ate something and got sick . I cleaned up the mess and finished dinner; later I checked the basement (her preferred barfing spot) and found more evidence of a sick cat. Friday morning she was curled up on the downstairs couch, and when I got home last night she was still in the same spot. This morning she made her way upstairs and lay down next to the water dish, looking sadly at it but not drinking. Thankfully the vet's office has Saturday hours, so I decided not to wait until Monday and gave them a call to make an appointment.  Before taking the cat in to the vet, I had already decided that if she had a foreign object in her stomach I wasn't going t...

Yes, I'm counting down the days until school is back in session. I think the kids are too, even though it's been a pretty fun summer so far. The other day I was talking to a friend who works full-time and she agreed with me that it feels better to go to work during the school year when we know the kids are happily involved in their routine and busy at school. At the same time, though, it's nice to have seasons in life and I remember just two months ago how ready for change I was. I will say that summer mornings are so much simpler for me since I only have to get myself ready and out the door.  I started the summer with a very quick trip up to Portland for my sister's graduation with a doctorate in nursing practice. I flew up Sunday afternoon and came home on Tuesday afternoon--I think I was only gone for about 48 hours. It was a lot of fun; the agenda was basically eating lots of delicious food, hanging out, and attending the graduation. We accomplished all those thin...

I briefly mentioned in last week's post that Little Dude had been sick with strep throat and that last Sunday S-Boogie wasn't feeling very good either. Unfortunately she did not sleep well on Sunday night and woke up with a fever Monday morning. I decided to take a sick day from work (so grateful for a job with good benefits), dropped P-Bibby off for the morning with her babysitter, and took S-Boogie in to the doctor for a strep test. It was positive. We stopped by Target to fill the prescription and grab a few things, then came home to spend the rest of the day resting.  This would have all been fairly normal and routine, but Monday was the day for the last two performances of the musical that she had been working on for nearly three months. They had a matinee and an evening performance; this was also the day for cast photos and professional videotaping of the show. I had planned to take the afternoon off work to watch the show with Little Dude and P. Bibby. It was the worst ...

Remember how in February I really got into exercise and made some great progress? Well, then in March I totally fell off the wagon. I haven't exercised at all since then. School and work and everything just got overwhelming and I've been kind of down all month. I know that exercise would probably help with that feeling, and probably fix some of the sleep issues that have been creeping back into my life. I should try again to get back in the habit. Obviously I totally fell off the blogging bandwagon as well. Looking back over my calendar I don't see anything too out of the ordinary that would make this month feel so stressful. Well, actually I only really ended up with one kid-free weekend instead of my usual two. Out of the past five weekends, only one has been completely without the kids. This weekend they were mostly with Mr. Fob, but my dad came into town on Friday evening to watch S-Boogie's play, so yesterday I picked them up for lunch with their Grandpa and then...

I just did a search through old blog posts and discovered that my favorite word to use in describing posts that contain a number of unrelated ideas is "random". I have a number of posts titled things like "random brain dump" or "random stuff". I used to blog a lot more about focused, specific things. Apparently I don't have opinions anymore about anything and am now just using the blog as a public journal to keep track of what's been happening in my life. I think part of the problem is the fact that I don't have a lot of time to sit and think about stuff, I don't have a lot of time to write it out, and some of the stuff I have opinions about has to do with sensitive things like my job and my divorce that I don't want to talk about publicly. Well, things change, and I guess after nearly 8 1/2 years of blogging I should be happy that I still have a few friends out there reading what I write.  The last two weeks have been normal--busy, t...

The first week of February went surprisingly well. The weather has been cold and either snowy or rainy, which I actually like since it clears out the air and makes winter a little more normal. Last Saturday night I took S-Boogie to see the ballet Swan Lake on campus; I've never gone to a ballet other than The Nutcracker so it was an interesting, new experience. I really liked enjoyed the performance a lot, though S-Boogie was a bit tired by the end and wasn't sure if she had fun or not. Monday was P. Bibby's birthday--I feel like the last four years have flown by, despite the fact that life is so different from how I imagined it would be back then. We started celebrating on Sunday with a family party that evening. I also invited the kids' summertime nanny since she is one of P. Bibby's favorite people. The party went well and she got a lot of great presents that she's been playing with all week. My attempt at making homemade pizza for dinner was an unfortuna...

Today was a good Sunday; last week we switched to morning church again after a year of afternoons. The later schedule was nice in some ways, especially since every other week I had a morning off without kids. Even with that little 'perk' I still didn't like it very much. So far the last two weeks have gone well and we've gotten there right on time and with a lot less stress than we did at 1:00. When we have church first thing I feel a lot less stressed out because we haven't had all morning to deal with before we go. It's easier to just wake up, get ready, and head out the door. This morning the kids were with Mr. Fob; I got up and dressed before he dropped them off--then they quickly changed and we got out the door. Sacrament meeting was uneventful and Primary went well. P. Bibby has been a Sunbeam for two weeks now and really loves it. It helps that she's the oldest in the class and does preschool with several of the other kids so she knows them well alrea...

I took the entire week of Christmas off for the first time since going back to work a few years ago.I had the vacation time saved up, the kids were off school, and vital computer systems were going to be unavailable at work, so it seemed like a good idea. While the week hasn't been as relaxing or productive as I (foolishly) thought it would be, it's still been a lot of fund. I'm glad I had the time to spend with my kids and family even though the time went by much too fast.  Last Sunday night S-Boogie went to spend the night with her cousin, and then spent most of Monday with her as well. I woke up on Monday morning feeling energized and spent a few hours cleaning the house. Little Dude and P. Bibby helped out for a while before I sent them downstairs to watch Dora so I could finish things up by myself. That afternoon Little Dude helped me shovel snow off the driveway and make some candy cane cookie s and a batch of Rolo turtles . It was a relaxing, fun day and a good way...

It's a lot harder to think of creative titles when all my blog entries tend to just be an update about my life and not related to a coherent theme. Expecting myself not to repeat titles after eight years of blogging is probably too much. Oh well. This a post. About stuff.  My last post, and Conference, were both two weeks ago. Things have been going well since then. I will admit that for a few days after Conference I spent a lot of time feeling troubled about a few things that were said and deeply pondering issues that were brought up by some of the speakers. I had quite a few discussions with friends about my feelings, which were decidedly mixed and definitely not peaceful. I didn't feel strongly on one 'side' or another--I just felt agitated and had a lot of big feelings that needed to fit together and make sense. Then, on the Thursday morning after Conference I got up and thought to myself "fear and anxiety don't come from God". I said a prayer, read ...

Last weekend we went down to Vegas to visit my parents for a few days. The kids had Spring Break, and since I had to take time off work to be with them anyway I thought a trip would be fun. It mostly went well; we listened to a  Harry Potter audiobook during the drive that kept everyone entertained. The weather was warm and sunny, but not horribly hot yet. Spending a few days in the warm sunshine was great for everyone, though it made the cold and snow here in Utah a bit more unbearable after we got back. Since this is a good time of year for being outside there, we took advantage and spent a lot of time doing nature-related activities. One day we went to Springs Preserve and spent hours in the museum there learning all about the history and ecology of the desert. It was a lot of fun; the kids could have spent all day in the museum I'm sure. The next day we drove out to Red Rocks and spent time at the visitor center learning even more about the desert, then did some hiking and...

I didn't do a check-in post last Saturday because I was exhausted. Tomorrow my youngest brother leaves to go spend three years in Guam with the Navy, so last weekend we had a quick family-togetherness weekend. It even worked out that my second-youngest brother was passing through town on tour with his band so we all got to be together for a short while. Last Friday night I drove up to Salt Lake to watch them perform in a somewhat sketchy location (the music was great despite the surroundings). Then I got a very small amount of sleep and turned around to drive back up to Salt Lake in order for us to have a family breakfast together before he left to drive with his band to Boise. Then I spent the rest of the day preparing for the party we had last night to say goodbye to my little brother. The weekend was quite nice and everything went well, but there were a lot of things crammed into just a few days. I have also spent most of this week feeling exhausted and stressed out. I didn...

I meant to get another post or two in at some point during this week, but obviously that didn't happen. It's hard to believe that an entire week has gone by since I last wrote. Time sure flies fast around here. This week was actually pretty uneventful, which is always a good thing. Work was moderately stressful since we had five brand-new people start this week; thankfully we had everything in place for training and they all seem like good, competent workers. As far as my goal of getting more exercise during the work day ( from last week ), I didn't do such a great job of accomplishing that but I will try again next week. I did go to the temple Tuesday morning since I was a bit ahead on hours and that helped me feel better about a lot of things. Here's the update on how I'm doing right now: Physical: Generally feeling good, just tired. I heard back from the doctor's office that all my tests were normal, including my thyroid levels and blood iron. That means th...

I'm sure everyone is dying to read a play-by-play account of our Fall Break vacation. Right? Well, even if you're not, I'm going to write it down so I can remember it all some day. This year I decided to take the kids on a little road trip down to Zion National Park. I don't remember when I got the idea exactly, but a few months ago I realized that I had never been there and that it would be a fun place to go for Fall Break with the kids. Plus I had not used any of my vacation time this summer (because I hadn't really earned any yet), and if you work while your kids are in school then you have to figure out something to do with them when they have time off. I'm not going to take time off during all of their holidays, but Fall Break seemed like good timing. We left on Thursday afternoon; I had planned to leave a little earlier in the day but I ended up going in to work for a few hours and we just weren't ready to go until later. I thought it would be fun to...

The other day I read an article on the internet about communication with kids and one of the commenters suggested a game they play at dinner called "Mad, Sad, Glad" with their kids. Each person at the table has to share something that made them mad, something that made them sad, and something that made them glad for that day. I tried it tonight with the kids and I really liked it; we will definitely be trying it again in the future. At first Little Dude responding grumpily with "everything made me mad and nothing made me glad." That's pretty much his first response to anything. But then he talked about some good things he did at school. Even P. Bibby shared with us that she was sad when she hurt her toes (that happened while I was making dinner and I'm still not sure what happened--I think she was closing a door and it grazed her toes) and that she was glad when she ate lunch at a restaurant with her auntie today. I was mad and sad this morning when Little...

Today was a good day. I woke up on time, got the kids up on time, made them eggs and toast for breakfast, and even had time for scripture study before we left for work and school. I left work a bit early so I could go with Little Dude to his music class. He is going to a class called "Let's Play Music" that my neighbor does. They learn music theory through play, and they have a parent come with them every other week. I will take a bit of time off work to go with Little Dude once a month. It was fun--he was a bit squirrely and likes to do things backwards on purpose, but he knew all the right answers to the questions faster than most kids in class. We got done with his class in time for me to come home and make a decent dinner and do some cleaning and other chores. I even cleaned the bathroom tonight while Little Dude and P.Bibby were in the tub. Now the kids are all in bed and I'm baking chocolate chip cookies. ---- A small part of me feels a bit of guilt about ha...

 There aren't any kids in these pictures so I can put them on my blog. I don't think I've put pictures on here for years. This year I decided to go on a trip for my birthday. I got some extra money from my tax return, and I just wanted to go do something different. I went up to Oregon because my sister lives in Portland. I flew up Tuesday night and spent the night at her apartment. The next morning (after a stop at Voodoo Donuts for a maple bacon bar) we drove out to the coast and spent a few days there. It was a lot of fun. Our first stop on Wednesday was Cannon Beach. I love Cannon Beach; the town is small and beautiful and the beach is gorgeous. I had originally thought of staying there, but even off-season it was more expensive than I would have liked. We walked down the beach and enjoyed the scenery. It was fairly cold most of the time I was in Oregon; I knew it probably would be when I scheduled the trip, but I like the beach even when it's cold. After Cannon...