Yellow Wallpaper

This year I did not cook or eat any Thanksgiving food, and I find that I mostly haven't missed any of it. Well, except for pie. Many of my friends are posting about pie on social media and I would like to eat some. Other than that, I'm not a big fan of most Thanksgiving foods that I would only eat on the holiday (turkey, stuffing), or I eat those foods at other times already (rolls, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes and gravy). This year the kids were with Mr. Fob, so my parents and I decided to eat out at a fancy restaurant. They had a Thanksgiving special with turkey, but I chose a pork chop with blackberry coulis and sweet potato puree. It was delicious. So was the chocolate creme brulee I had for dessert.  The kids came back Thursday night, so we hung out and watched a movie. Friday we met up with my brother at the Natural History Museum and spent the afternoon together, then went out for Indian food. On the way home, I convinced my parents to stop off at Ikea so they could...

Today at work I had the 'what did you do this weekend?' conversation with two different people, and none of us could remember anything that had happened. Apparently the first weekend in November is not exciting for anyone. I didn't have the kids on Friday night because Saturday was Mr. Fob's birthday and he wanted to celebrate with them. I got home late because I stopped for groceries after work, and then I just watched a few episodes of a TV show on Netflix. I've been really binging on crime shows this year; I have a lot of movies I'd love to watch, but keep coming back to television instead. Saturday morning P.Bibby had a rehearsal for a play she is in at school later this week. They had asked parents to come help make things for the set, so Little Dude and I stayed for a few hours to construct paper palm trees and paint cardboard grass. We all came home and had lunch, and I prodded people into doing a few chores like putting away laundry. Then we went over ...

I feel like my last post left things hanging--I did feel sick the next day (Wednesday), but finally on Thursday I felt a little more like myself and by Friday I was feeling great. Last weekend was a good one--the sun came out and we had some nice weather, and I was able to get things done. On Saturday morning I went to the temple, in the afternoon I went to see a movie ( Manchester by the Sea ), and in between I ran some errands and cleaned my house.  I realized last month that too often my weekends when I don't have kids are all spent consuming--running errands to buy things or seeking out entertainment. I don't think that's a horrible thing, since I need to maintain my house and feed my family, and I need to relax as well. But I also sometimes worry that I'm not using my time as well as I could. Even though it's been a few months since I finished school, the amount of free time I have without homework still feels a bit overwhelming. There is a lot of potential t...

I write a lot of things in my head and never manage to actually get them down somewhere more permanent. Sometimes I wonder if other people live like this, with a constant stream of narration in their own heads. I don't usually talk to myself directly and I feel weird doing that, but I like to comment on my day, analyze things, and describe them to other people. I've always liked to process things out loud, and since getting divorced this has been a lot harder since I don't have anyone around to do this with. Hence, trying to get back into blogging and journaling. I just need to sit down more often to write out the things I'm thinking.  We had a good Christmas this year. I hadn't been feeling much of the Christmas spirit since our schedule was compressed and the kids and I were at work and school through the 22nd. During the earlier part of the month I was also still recovering from my surgery, and so we didn't do very many festive things like we usually do. I ...

I really can't let leap day pass by without writing a post about it, since it only happens every four years. I'm curious to see what my life will be like four years from now--hopefully I'll still have a blog, and even if I don't I'll be able to go back and read this and reflect. In four years I'll have kids that are 16, 13, and 10! That feels old to me. I wrote a post in 2008 that reflected on what my life had been like in 2004, and in some ways it wasn't all that different four years later. We were still in school, still didn't have a lot of money, and probably spent too much time waiting for 'real life' to happen (well, I know I did). Really, 2008 was mostly a good year and a lot of nice things happened.  I did write again in 2012 , but it wasn't consciously a leap day post. In fact, it was more processing a lot of feelings about the divorce. I feel a little weird going back and reading it now, but it had only been about six months out a...

 I started this post a few weeks ago when I had a pretty crappy day. I got in an argument on Facebook, which I almost never do. I usually avoid commenting on anything controversial, but this time I jumped right in and fired off something without really thinking about it. It was the kind of issue where knee-jerk reactions are common, but it's complex enough that it probably shouldn't be a subject for Facebook discussion. I immediately felt bad about that, and then some other crappy things happened that day that I can't even remember. The next day, however, was great. Then a few days later I had another crappy day--I didn't sleep well the night before and there was heavy snow when I left for work, making my commute twice as long and much more stressful.The rest of the day didn't go so well either. That's pretty much how things have been for the month since my last post--some days are good, some not so good. My baby step goal of writing a little in a journal e...

The middle of winter is actually not a great time for starting a new year. It's too cold and dark for me to feel like I have energy to do anything new. On the other hand, we've just passed the solstice and the days are starting to get a bit longer. Plus we just had Christmas and all its decadence, so perhaps the time is right for change after all. We're two weeks into January and I'm not sure yet if I want to make any resolutions. I'm a bit behind, as evidenced by my recent attempts to catch up on book reviews.  Christmas was quite lovely this year. My parents came to town and we had a nice dinner on Christmas Eve with my brother and his family. I woke up the next morning to fluffy white snow everywhere, and a quiet house filled with sleeping children. Unfortunately I also woke up with a sore throat and headache that only got worse as the day went on. The kids had a great morning and loved their new presents. I was actually grateful that Mr. Fob came to pick them ...

Last night P. Bibby had a bit of a stuffy nose and was acting tired and whiny. The tired and whiny bit didn't surprise me because we had a busy weekend doing fun things together (on Saturday we took family pictures in the morning and then spent some time at a Day of the Dead celebration). This morning, however, when I woke her up to get ready for school she was definitely running a fever. It wasn't a high fever, but definitely enough to keep her home from school and childcare. Mr. Fob is often the parent who takes care of sick kids because he has a flexible schedule and works remotely--it's not hard for him to keep an eye on a kid and still get work done. Most of my sick leave during the last few years has been spent on myself. Unfortunately Mr. Fob is traveling for work this week, so I had to take the day off.  Taking the day off, especially if I didn't plan on it in advance, is always hard for me. The work I do is certainly not life-or-death in its importance, and a...

A few weeks ago P. Bibby helped me unload the dishwasher. She arranged the plastic cups on the counter and declared "these are the kings of Enchantia!" in a loud voice. She was wearing a rainbow tutu and her cape that is supposed to be Elsa, but looks more like a Mexican wrestler since it was purchased at some tourist trap in Ensenada. It was one of those small, but memorable moments that I want to remember forever because it was weird and cute and hilarious.  Most days I can't believe that my baby is five-and-a-half, can dress and feed herself, and is going to kindergarten every day. In many ways, the intense baby years are behind us and are not coming back. I'm slowly getting rid of baby toys, board books, wipes, and other paraphernalia stashed in the corners of my house. Longtime readers of my blog will probably know how happy I am to leave those years behind--the stress and angst of the last decade are quite thoroughly chronicled here. At the same time, I feel a...

While I was making dinner on Thursday night I heard the unmistakable sounds of kitty barf happening in the hallway. I got there too late to move the cat, but realized that she was barfing up a large quantity of white foam and water. As soon as I saw that, my heart sank--that's exactly what has happened the last two times she ate something and got sick . I cleaned up the mess and finished dinner; later I checked the basement (her preferred barfing spot) and found more evidence of a sick cat. Friday morning she was curled up on the downstairs couch, and when I got home last night she was still in the same spot. This morning she made her way upstairs and lay down next to the water dish, looking sadly at it but not drinking. Thankfully the vet's office has Saturday hours, so I decided not to wait until Monday and gave them a call to make an appointment.  Before taking the cat in to the vet, I had already decided that if she had a foreign object in her stomach I wasn't going t...

The first week of February was a good one and I was optimistic about the rest of the month. I had thought I'd post a little more often on the blog, but I didn't after all. Now I want to catch up on February and can't seem to remember anything significant happening. I got really sick during the second week of February--I went to bed on Tuesday night feeling fine, but at some point during the early morning hours I started feeling hot and restless. Thankfully the kids were at Mr. Fob's, as they usually are on Tuesday nights, because by Wednesday morning I felt like I had been run over by a truck. It's been a while since I have been that sick. I managed to crawl out of bed long enough to send some emails to people letting them know I wasn't coming to work. I also took my temperature, confirming that I had a fever, and went back to bed. I knew that if I could get up and fix myself some food, and take some medicine, I'd feel better. I just couldn't do it. Fina...

I took the day off work today--I've had a few sick days saved up for a while and thought it would be good to use one. I had planned on taking the afternoon off, since I had a phone appointment with the counseling center at noon and the kids had their back-to-school thing this afternoon (it used to be back-to-school night, but now for some reason it's in the afternoon). Then when I got up this morning, I just didn't feel like going in to work for only a few hours. So I got dressed and went to the temple instead; it was nice to be there and I felt good afterwards. Then I came home and had my phone appointment with the counseling center on campus--they will call in a few weeks and set up an appointment with me. I get to be some grad student's project for the semester, but at least it is cheap and easy to get to since it is on campus. I think things will be OK--I'm also going to work on getting more sleep and taking better care of myself too. This afternoon I had a fe...

Yes, I'm counting down the days until school is back in session. I think the kids are too, even though it's been a pretty fun summer so far. The other day I was talking to a friend who works full-time and she agreed with me that it feels better to go to work during the school year when we know the kids are happily involved in their routine and busy at school. At the same time, though, it's nice to have seasons in life and I remember just two months ago how ready for change I was. I will say that summer mornings are so much simpler for me since I only have to get myself ready and out the door.  I started the summer with a very quick trip up to Portland for my sister's graduation with a doctorate in nursing practice. I flew up Sunday afternoon and came home on Tuesday afternoon--I think I was only gone for about 48 hours. It was a lot of fun; the agenda was basically eating lots of delicious food, hanging out, and attending the graduation. We accomplished all those thin...

It's been almost a month since I last wrote a post on here. I keep thinking "I should write a post; I have stuff to say." And then I don't end up writing anything after all. Stuff has happened--it's been a mostly good month I guess. I might write a better post about the last month at some point later this week. Here, however, is a quick glance into a typical evening around here.  5:30--Get home from work and talk to the babysitter a bit before she leaves. Put away my things and figure out dinner. I actually made a menu plan and bought supplies for meals this week, but no one is feeling excited about breakfast for dinner (too many pancakes at their dad's house over the weekend).  5:45--Decide to make some veggie soup and biscuits for dinner. It's a bit ambitious, but uses up food I have on hand and sounds tasty. P. Bibby "helps", which mostly means getting in my way while I try to quickly make dinner. At least we get to spend some time togethe...

Two weeks ago on Friday was my birthday and then Mothers' Day was the week after that. Those two events are usually fairly close together, so if there's not a big celebration for one of them I don't really feel left out. This year it ended up that both days were fairly uneventful. On my birthday S-Boogie and Little Dude made me some French toast for breakfast. It was pretty tasty and they didn't make too much of a mess in the kitchen. I spent the whole day at the annual conference for the state library association--there were some interesting sessions and I got a tasty free lunch with an entertaining speaker, so I guess the day wasn't a total wash. There was terrible traffic coming back from the conference so I got into town a little later than I had planned. I had to pick up the kids from Mr. Fob and then we had a ward activity that night; I thought it would be fun to just get Wendy's for dinner, but it really wasn't that great. We had poor customer service...

The kids had their Spring Break this past week. One of the hard things about being a working parent is the fact that when the kids have days off from school, you have to figure out what to do with them. One of us, or both of us, usually has to take time off work to take care of them; thankfully Mr. Fob has a flexible job so sometimes he doesn't even take time off and just has them hang out with him. Last year for Spring Break I took off part of the week and the kids and I went to Las Vegas to visit my parents. The year before that Mr. Fob took the older two to Disneyland, but left P. Bibby here because she was barely two years old. This year's Spring Break has been highly anticipated by everyone for several months. Mr. Fob took the week off work and drove all three kids down to California to spend a few days at Legoland.  It was a weird week for me--the first time I've ever had all three kids gone for such a long period of time. Their dad picked them up last Sunday evenin...

The first week of February went surprisingly well. The weather has been cold and either snowy or rainy, which I actually like since it clears out the air and makes winter a little more normal. Last Saturday night I took S-Boogie to see the ballet Swan Lake on campus; I've never gone to a ballet other than The Nutcracker so it was an interesting, new experience. I really liked enjoyed the performance a lot, though S-Boogie was a bit tired by the end and wasn't sure if she had fun or not. Monday was P. Bibby's birthday--I feel like the last four years have flown by, despite the fact that life is so different from how I imagined it would be back then. We started celebrating on Sunday with a family party that evening. I also invited the kids' summertime nanny since she is one of P. Bibby's favorite people. The party went well and she got a lot of great presents that she's been playing with all week. My attempt at making homemade pizza for dinner was an unfortuna...

Why is January always so crappy? I wish I knew. Actually, this January was slightly better than January was last year. Last year the weather was much colder and Little Dude had a broken foot. At least this year the temperatures were closer to normal winter weather, though we've had very little snow and way too many days of nasty, hazy inversion. If I'm going to live in a state with winter, I'd like some decent winter weather.  About two weeks ago P. Bibby got sick with a fever and a cough. I knew a virus was going around and thought that she'd be sick for a few days and then get better. She had a fever Monday and was still sick on Tuesday. Then, on Wednesday when I got home from work she looked much worse, rather than much better like I had hoped. I took her temperature and watched the thermometer climb up to nearly 104! I was able to get her in to see the after-hours doctor and was actually relieved when he looked in her ears and diagnosed them as both infected. In m...

Today was a good Sunday; last week we switched to morning church again after a year of afternoons. The later schedule was nice in some ways, especially since every other week I had a morning off without kids. Even with that little 'perk' I still didn't like it very much. So far the last two weeks have gone well and we've gotten there right on time and with a lot less stress than we did at 1:00. When we have church first thing I feel a lot less stressed out because we haven't had all morning to deal with before we go. It's easier to just wake up, get ready, and head out the door. This morning the kids were with Mr. Fob; I got up and dressed before he dropped them off--then they quickly changed and we got out the door. Sacrament meeting was uneventful and Primary went well. P. Bibby has been a Sunbeam for two weeks now and really loves it. It helps that she's the oldest in the class and does preschool with several of the other kids so she knows them well alrea...

As I sit here Sunday night, I feel anxious about jumping back into our routine tomorrow morning. After two weeks of being off school and having plenty of lazy mornings for everyone I think re-entry is going to be rough. This week was pretty relaxing, even with three days of work included in it.  I had to work on Monday, but the kids didn't have to be anywhere so it was nice to just get up and get myself ready instead of having to try and get all of us out the door. The workday was a bit stressful simply because it was our last day of 2013 and we had things that needed to get done. This was my first year in this job doing all the year-end tasks and I've been stressed out for the last few weeks with making sure everything gets done right. Doing something for the first time is always tricky and I hope next year will be better. Monday night was a fairly typical night and I tried to get the kids to bed at a reasonable time.  Tuesday morning we started out with homemade waffles ...