Yellow Wallpaper

I feel like my last post left things hanging--I did feel sick the next day (Wednesday), but finally on Thursday I felt a little more like myself and by Friday I was feeling great. Last weekend was a good one--the sun came out and we had some nice weather, and I was able to get things done. On Saturday morning I went to the temple, in the afternoon I went to see a movie ( Manchester by the Sea ), and in between I ran some errands and cleaned my house.  I realized last month that too often my weekends when I don't have kids are all spent consuming--running errands to buy things or seeking out entertainment. I don't think that's a horrible thing, since I need to maintain my house and feed my family, and I need to relax as well. But I also sometimes worry that I'm not using my time as well as I could. Even though it's been a few months since I finished school, the amount of free time I have without homework still feels a bit overwhelming. There is a lot of potential t...

According to my blog and Facebook, I have gotten sick during February or March for at least three years in a row now. I wonder what it is about this time of year that makes it easier to get sick? I've also been trying to remember if I got sick this often when I used to stay home with kids. I think I did, but it wasn't as noticeable because it didn't disrupt the routine as much. Getting sick two or three times a year is probably fairly reasonable. No matter how many times it happens, however, I feel stressed about because I have to miss work and other stuff. I also can't fight my suspicion that maybe I'd stay healthier if I took better care of myself. Maybe I should try working harder on that (after I get better). Early last week, P.Bibby came down with a runny nose and cough. She spent Tuesday out of school with her dad, and then I stayed home with her on Wednesday. I started to get a sore throat on Thursday and I haven't felt good since. I've been dealing...

January has never been my favorite month and this year wasn't much of an improvement. First of all, January is way too long. We even had five Sundays this month so it felt like things were really dragging. The weather was really cold and extra snowy--which is great for keeping away the inversion and excellent for this summer's water prospects, but terrible for travel and everything else. Thankfully we're now in February, which is not only the shortest month of the year but also the month for Valentine's Day and P. Bibby's birthday and other wonderful things.  Actually, January this year really wasn't bad other than being excessively cold and snowy. I started doing yoga a few weeks ago and have mostly kept up with my goal of doing it for five days every week. One of these days I want to be able to go to bed early, get up early, and ride the exercise bike vigorously for half an hour before work. That isn't happening at all yet. However, I decided to start sm...

I had my gallbladder surgery just about ten days ago, on the seventeenth. The surgery itself went smoothly as far as I can tell (since I don't remember any of it). It was done at the outpatient center attached to the local hospital. I didn't have to show up until eleven, so I had some time in the morning to get the kids off to school and clean my house before leaving. A friend dropped me off, I checked in, and they got me all prepped for surgery (I'd love to have one of those systems that pipes hot air into my pajamas for my bed at home, it would be awesome). There was about an hour delay so I got to watch an episode of Law & Order while I waited--that's my go-to show for lounging around hotel rooms and hospitals. Then they wheeled me into the operating room and an hour later I woke up back in the bed. For the next few hours I drifted in and out of consciousness. I was surprised by how hard it was to wake up, since the only other time I've had general anesthesia...

I am now totally done with school--and it feels weird. This semester I had to complete the last requirement, which was creating an electronic portfolio. The portfolio had to include fourteen sections based on the program's learning outcomes; for each section I had to write a short essay describing my understanding of the topic and provide examples of my learning from assignments I'd completed. It was both harder and easier than I had anticipated. Once I did a few sections it really became easier to write the rest of them, but the writing and revising took a long time to do. I'm so happy to be done, and yet it's taking a while to sink in. I think that's because I don't really change my routine much--it's not like I was actually going to class or anything. However, over the last two weeks I've really felt a burden lifting off my shoulders. I no longer have to fit homework in during my free time or worry about completing assignments. It's amazing to rea...

The first week of February was a good one and I was optimistic about the rest of the month. I had thought I'd post a little more often on the blog, but I didn't after all. Now I want to catch up on February and can't seem to remember anything significant happening. I got really sick during the second week of February--I went to bed on Tuesday night feeling fine, but at some point during the early morning hours I started feeling hot and restless. Thankfully the kids were at Mr. Fob's, as they usually are on Tuesday nights, because by Wednesday morning I felt like I had been run over by a truck. It's been a while since I have been that sick. I managed to crawl out of bed long enough to send some emails to people letting them know I wasn't coming to work. I also took my temperature, confirming that I had a fever, and went back to bed. I knew that if I could get up and fix myself some food, and take some medicine, I'd feel better. I just couldn't do it. Fina...

I briefly mentioned in last week's post that Little Dude had been sick with strep throat and that last Sunday S-Boogie wasn't feeling very good either. Unfortunately she did not sleep well on Sunday night and woke up with a fever Monday morning. I decided to take a sick day from work (so grateful for a job with good benefits), dropped P-Bibby off for the morning with her babysitter, and took S-Boogie in to the doctor for a strep test. It was positive. We stopped by Target to fill the prescription and grab a few things, then came home to spend the rest of the day resting.  This would have all been fairly normal and routine, but Monday was the day for the last two performances of the musical that she had been working on for nearly three months. They had a matinee and an evening performance; this was also the day for cast photos and professional videotaping of the show. I had planned to take the afternoon off work to watch the show with Little Dude and P. Bibby. It was the worst ...

Just when you start to forget what short sleeves and bare feet feel like, you wake up one day and realize that the sun is shining and the air feels clear and warm(er). I can tell that I have overcome my California childhood and acclimated to Utah because the temperatures have been in the 50s lately and I have stopped wearing socks. Well, until today when winter weather came back and I got my coat out again. Spring in Utah is pretty fickle. Last week was Spring Break at the university I work for; what that meant for me was the execution of a rather big project. We have a satellite campus that is about 45 minutes away, and last week we needed to inventory and relabel all the books that are in the small campus library branch. There were about 10,000 books total, so each day two of my coworkers and I drove up with several students and spent about six hours a day re-labelling books. It was an adventure and a lot of hard work, but mostly went smoothly. That took us through Th...

In May I went to the dentist for the first time in about five years. Yes, I know I should have gone more regularly in the past. I have a lot of excuses, including some good ones like the moving around we have done and the occasional lack of dental insurance. I didn't think that skipping the dentist would be a big deal because I've had good teeth for most of my life. I also floss and brush every day and I don't drink soda, coffee, or tea. Well, after spending a very long time in the dentist's chair that day I learned a few things. I had several small cavities between my teeth. I also had to endure a deep cleaning of my teeth and gums to get off the stuff that had built up during my years without regular cleanings. Apparently I have been experiencing both periodontitis and gum recession . The dentist sent me away with special medicinal mouthwash and an appointment in a few weeks to fill my cavities. The appointment for my fillings was definitely the worst experience I...

Last week was Spring Break for the kids, but unfortunately not for me. It was my second-to-last week of class and I felt too burned out and busy to think of fun stuff to do with them. Instead, they ended up watching a whole lot of television and spending a lot of time on the computer playing Club Penguin. I figured that we would make up for it this week when they got back in to school. This week is also my last week of class and so I have a bit of down time. I made a lot of plans for stuff I would do to get 'back on track'. I should have known better. Tuesday morning started out well; we went to playgroup and then ran an errand at Target. Then after P. Bibby's nap I put her in her high chair for a snack; much to her distress, and mine, she started throwing up. I was hoping it was a fluke, but as the afternoon went on she was obviously not getting better. Even worse, I started feeling more and more disgusting. Tuesday was the worst evening for this sort of situation becaus...

In January I made a list of a bunch of goals I would like to accomplish. Some of them were little, one-time things, like finding a new dentist and getting my sewing machine fixed. Then stuff happened and I didn't get anything on my list done. January slid into February, and February is just too much fun with the baby's birthday and Valentine's Day. Suddenly last weekend I realized that it was already almost March and I had things that really needed to get done. So I made a grand new list and tacked it to my bulletin board. Then last Sunday I started feeling weird. We watched the Oscars last Sunday night and I kept crying about random things, plus my body kept alternating between too hot and too cold. Monday morning I dragged myself to class, which thankfully I didn't have to teach because we were meeting in the library for research instruction. By Monday night I finally accepted that I was sick and not getting any better. Tuesday I spent most of the day lying around; my...

If I had been blogging at 10 this morning I would have told you that my day so far had been fantastic. I got up and rode the exercise bike for a while, then helped the kids with breakfast, and started cleaning. I vacuumed the entire upstairs, did some laundry, cleaned the kitchen, and then swept and mopped the kitchen floor after the baby went to bed. Oh, and I make bread this morning. If I had been blogging at 2 this afternoon I would have told you about whiny the baby was. And I would have told you about how I gave in to Little Dude's pleading to make a volcano like the one in the Super Science Book . It's an extra special volcano where you add some red Jell-O powder to make it look cool. It was a lot of fun until I foolishly left the room for a few minutes to change the baby's diaper and came back to a giant puddle of sticky red gelatin-infused vinegar dripping all over my cabinets and freshly washed floor. If I had been blogging at 4 I would have shared my excitement ab...

Remember how last week I said that I would be very surprised if P. Bibby didn't have craniosynostosis ? Well, according to the doctors she doesn't. That's a relief since I spent the last week pouring a lot of mental energy into figuring out how to work major surgery for my baby into my life. I'm very glad that we won't have to do anything major to fix it. I do admit still feeling a little worry simply because we just have to wait for the problem to correct itself and I hope it does. The CT scan showed normal bone growth in her head and so the doctor feels that the problem is plagiocephaly , or distortion cause by her sleeping position. That often shows up as a flat head, but there are other manifestations such as P. Bibby's case where her head has apparently been pushed from the side so much that the right said has been pushed forward and the left hasn't caught up yet. Considering how much she sleeps and the fact that she sucks the fingers on the right side,...

I don't actually remember seeing Kindergarten Cop when I was young, but for some reason the "it's not a tumor" line (in Arnold's voice) was a popular saying around my house. It's come to mind during the last few months as we have been trying to figure out what is going on with P. Bibby's eye. When she was about six months old we noticed that her left eyelid was looking somewhat droopy and the skin around her eye was red. I mentioned this at a checkup she had with the doctor, but she had an ear infection at the time and he thought it might be related to that. It seemed to be getting worse, and was definitely not getting better, so I asked again at her nine-month appointment. This time the pediatrician gave me the name and number of a pediatric ophthalmologist . When I called I was disappointed to find out that their closest appointment was in February, but I scheduled it anyways. Her eye was still bothering me and I decided to call back and plead for a bet...

Last night in the drive- thru at Burgers Supreme I asked Mr. Fob if he knew how many hours he has spent sitting in waiting rooms while I describe vague symptoms to a doctor. Yesterday my sister-in-law had the older kids come over for a sleepover and the most exciting thing we could think of doing was visiting Instacare together. My stomach had been bothering me since last Friday, and while I was mostly feeling better, there was still a nagging ache in my side and I just felt yucky. I finally got around to going in yesterday afternoon and the visit was actually pretty pleasant. They took some bloodwork and did an ultrasound of my gallbladder and other abdominal organs. The somewhat disappointing news was that there were no obvious stones or blockages, but the ultrasound tech said that I could still be experiencing some inflammation or irritation that may not show up on the screen. What I really need to work on is getting more exercise and changing my diet, but last night I still dec...

Hopefully this week will be a little better; today is starting to feel that way, especially since right now I'm home alone because Mr. Fob took Little Dude with him to run an errand and my fabulous sister-in-law took S-Boogie to go have fun with her cousins. I should probably be lying down on the couch right now but decided to take a chance and blog instead. Last week was fun, but crazy. Mr. Fob has six siblings, three of whom live in Hawaii. Last week two of his sisters and their families came to visit, plus his dad, so we all went up to a cabin by Bear Lake for a few days. It was fun and a little crazy at the same time. Since we were already most of the way up there, we took a quick day trip up to Wyoming and rode horses at my aunt's house. It was fun, even though the horses were acting kind of crazy since we had some from my uncle and some from my aunt and they weren't too happy about getting together (and no, I didn't get on a horse this time--not a good idea in my ...

Pretty much every doctor who has taken a look in S-Boogie's ears has done the same thing: try to look in, exclaim "you have tiny ears!", and then choose a smaller otoscope attachment. Thankfully her tiny ear canals have really not caused her very many problems in the past, other than a copious amount of wax that we occasionally have to get flushed out by the doctor. When we did that last fall, the doctor told us about some drops we could buy at the store that would dissolve the wax, so I bought some and used them a few weeks ago. Well, I don't know if it's related or not, but then a little over a week later (nearly two weeks ago), S-Boogie started complaining that her ear hurt. We let it go for a day or so, and then when she was still complaining we took her in to the doctor. There was no fever, so I was surprised to find out that she had an ear infection. Thankfully we got antibiotics and after two days of major pain the infection seemed to be clearing up. Until ...

Yesterday afternoon I was rushing around trying to collect our things before we left for a trip to the library and Little Dude's dance class. Suddenly I felt an incredibly sharp pain in my foot and looked down to see that I'd stepped on a nail. On my floor. I think it came out of our couch, because our couch is old and falling apart, plus Mr. Fob just rearranged the slip covers and cushions on Thursday night. I hobbled over to the closet to get a band-aid, stuck it on my bleeding foot, and left to run our errands. After I got back from that I started to wonder if I should worry more about my health, and a quick check of my records showed that I had last received a tetanus shot ten years ago before leaving on my mission. So I drove down to the student health center and got myself a booster shot. Today my foot feels better but my arm really hurts. I was worried that the health center would delay me too long and I would miss our date last night, but thankfully we still made it. Ev...

Apparently some sort of cosmic force heard last week's rant about church, because I was completely struck down on Saturday night. I went to bed feeling a little sore, but I thought it was just the bike riding we had done. After a fitful night of sweating and bad dreams I woke up feeling dizzy, achy, and delirious. Then I took my temperature: 102.8. Nice. I spent most of Sunday alternating between reading, sleeping, and sweating. I can't believe how exhausted I felt. Monday morning my temperature was back up, but thankfully by the evening it dropped. Unfortunately my throat is still sore and my glands in my neck feel like painful golf balls. All I want to do is lie around and eat ice cream, but my kids won't let me get away with it. But at least I'm getting better and tomorrow S-Boogie starts kindergarten (yay!). The only bad news is that we're having a "mini heat wave" and the high temperature tomorrow is supposed to be 105 (boo!). Maybe next week will be ...

Little Dude was sick for about a week. He finally stopped having a fever last Thursday and has only been moderately cranky and snotty since then. Having him sick for that long was difficult and I was so happy when he got over it. Then Thursday night I tossed and turned feverishly. I woke up Friday with a sore throat, a headache, and a very bad temper. I've been feeling pretty crummy ever since then. My throat, tongue, and jaw ache. I can't stop coughing and I am amazed at the amount of snot that my head is producing. The only consolation is that today is a holiday so I don't have to get dressed and go to work. Except that tomorrow I need to. Hopefully I'll still have a voice by then. And I won't have killed myself just to make the suffering stop.