Yellow Wallpaper

Last Thursday night my internet connection went down and I couldn't get it to come back up. I think it had something to do with a power outage earlier in the day. When I got around to calling Comcast on Friday morning, they were able to reset it fairly quickly. I sat down at my computer to catch up on things I had missed the day before and discovered a post called " Club Unicorn " that was being shared all over Facebook. I wasn't really shocked to read the content of the post, but I have been surprised by how many people have shared it and commented on it. I'm now feeling grateful that Facebook didn't exist six years ago when Mr. Fob and I were interviewed in the newspaper and on television . That was the right decision at the time, but I'm glad we turned down bigger offers and that things weren't shared more than they were. We first met Josh and Lolly a little over six years ago. In the fall of 2005, Mr. Fob published an essay he had written in Dia...

When I got home from my mission eleven years ago, everything I owned fit in a few suitcases and boxes. I had some books, clothes, pots and pans, a CD player, and other small things. I didn't own a car, a computer, or any furniture. When Mr. Fob and I got married shortly after that we moved into a one-bedroom apartment. We bought a loveseat at D.I., inherited a bed from family, and rented a kitchen table and chairs from the university. Now I live in a five-bedroom house and I own a car, a large amount of furniture, and even two refrigerators. There's a bedroom for each person in the family and one for guests. It's a bit ridiculous. I mostly enjoy my level of comfort and feel humbly blessed to have so much abundance, but sometimes I feel guilt at the high standard of living I enjoy compared to the rest of the world. Either way, I now have a lot of stuff. In addition to the stuff, I have a much more abundant life than I used to. I have three kids, three-hundred friends on Fa...

Today has been an interesting day on the internet. This morning I read this wonderful interview with a woman whose husband came out of the closet and divorced her. Then, later in the day, I read this article about man who came out of the closet, began divorce proceedings, was excommunicated, and committed suicide. It was interesting to read about two very similar situations that met with such completely different ends. The blessing and the curse of the Church seems to be the fact that it is made up of individuals. As individuals we all have the opportunity every day to make the world around us a kinder, more compassionate place, and it makes my heart break when I see people not doing that (myself included). No matter what someone has done, they should never feel as though their only option is to end their own life. These articles also piqued my interest because of what is going on in my life right now. Back in February, Mr. Fob went on a business trip for a week. I started wonde...

Yesterday was our ninth anniversary; I've written a few different anniversary posts over the last few years, but I still think my favorite is this one . Since the baby is a good sleeper and no longer nursing we decided to take a little staycation this year. Mr. Fob's sister was a fabulous auntie and came to spend the night with our three kids on Friday while we escaped to Salt Lake for the night. First we checked into our hotel ; we've stayed there before, and while our room did not have a jacuzzi tub, it was very comfortable and affordable without feeling like the Super 8 motel. From our hotel we walked over the The Copper Onion ; the food was fabulous and we left feeling completely stuffed. We shared a cheese plate and then I ordered the beef stroganoff and Mr. Fob had the fettuccine carbonara. Those may sound like ordinary entrees, but the cooking was amazing. We will definitely eat there again some time, but our budget can probably only handle it once a year. Then we wa...

Eight years, six moves, five degrees, two (and a half) kids, and countless containers of ice cream later--still sexy! Happy Anniversary!

Like I mentioned a while ago, I won a gift certificate for the Homestead Resort , which is up in Midway. Mr. Fob and I went and used it on Friday night and it was fabulous. The only thing I would have done differently is plan the trip to have more time to spend up there. Next time I would like to do more activities, like some bike riding, hiking, or more swimming ( this would be cool). Friday afternoon we dropped the kids off in Salt Lake and headed up to Midway. First we stopped off at the outlets in Park City for a little shopping. I splurged and bought myself two new pairs of maternity jeans; Motherhood is one of the few places I've found petite maternity pants and I'm glad I don't have to spent the winter tripping over my pants. Hopefully I'll keep finding nice shirts on my regular thrift store trips. Now I can't wait for the weather to cool off so I can wear my new pants. After the outlets we drove into Heber and grabbed dinner at Granny's drive-in; then...

Friday night we stayed up really late having one final blow-out party with our good friends Theric and Lady Steed. We were both pretty wasted yesterday, Mr. Fob especially since he needs more sleep to function correctly. But he still deep cleaned the house yesterday, including the bathrooms, the windows, and all the floors. And he's been taking care of the arrangements for utilities for our new house and scavenging dumpsters for boxes to start packing. Plus today I got several complements on S-Boogie's cute hairstyle that I had to deflect back to him and his artistic skills. The reason why we were up so late partying on Friday (not just our impending move) was the release of The Fob Bible , a collection of writings by members of Mr. Fob's writing group. I was impressed looking through the book at the variety of things in there and their quality. I've also been impressed by Mr. Fob's devotion to the craft of writing and the great friendships he's maintained along...

Yesterday afternoon I was rushing around trying to collect our things before we left for a trip to the library and Little Dude's dance class. Suddenly I felt an incredibly sharp pain in my foot and looked down to see that I'd stepped on a nail. On my floor. I think it came out of our couch, because our couch is old and falling apart, plus Mr. Fob just rearranged the slip covers and cushions on Thursday night. I hobbled over to the closet to get a band-aid, stuck it on my bleeding foot, and left to run our errands. After I got back from that I started to wonder if I should worry more about my health, and a quick check of my records showed that I had last received a tetanus shot ten years ago before leaving on my mission. So I drove down to the student health center and got myself a booster shot. Today my foot feels better but my arm really hurts. I was worried that the health center would delay me too long and I would miss our date last night, but thankfully we still made it. Ev...

As I've mentioned before, I don't have a problem with Valentine's Day. It's a good thing, because this morning Mr. Fob made pink pancakes shaped like hearts and we put strawberry syrup on them. He also put food coloring in the orange juice; Little Dude said Daddy "put Valentines in it" and that it "tastes like pink". It certainly did. Just another reason why Mr. Fob is so awesome . We're going to make heart-shaped sugar cookies later, and then tonight our home teacher and his wife are coming over to watch the kids while we go eat some falafel and go bowling. Should be a fun day.

Happy seven years sweetie!

One of the features of our new apartment is a working garbage disposal. It's been a few years since we've had one, and Mr. Fob and I are suddenly discovering a new source of marital conflict. According to Mr. Fob, movies and television have taught him that you should never stick your hand in the garbage disposal, even if it is turned off. I prefer to rely on common sense and the fact that the off switch means "off" and stick my hand in to make sure no utensils are hiding before turning it on. Mr. Fob thinks I'm crazy. What do you think? Do you stick your hand in the garbage disposal or do you like to grind up your spoons and forks?

There's something about Utah in the summer that scrambles my brain; although I lived here for a number of years, it seems that most of my memories are from the summer. Mr. Fob and I started dating and got engaged during the summer; both my children were born in summer; I've attended a number of funerals in the summer. Now that we're back here during the summer, I keep having weird flashes of memories. That one ride we went on up Provo Canyon with my baby niece? Oh yeah, she's turning seven now. The birthday party we had for S-Boogie at the pool? That was three years ago. I don't feel that old, but for some reason lately I keep feeling the weight of so many years of experiences coming to my mind, and I realize how far I've come from my life years ago. It's a good feeling, but also bittersweet. I think that many of the ways I have changed are positive, but I also can't help but remember when we were younger and more innocent. I'm not sure that innocenc...

We've had a fun few days here in our house, as evidenced by my tired eyes from late nights and my sore tummy from too much eating. Friday night Mr. Fob graduated for the third, and last, time since I married him. His mother came up to stay with us for a few days and my parents and sister came up on Friday (and left today) as well. Friday night we went to the graduation (the kids had a babysitter and we were all very grateful for it), yesterday we spent the morning cooking and the afternoon picnicking at the park, and today we attended sacrament meeting to see S-Boogie sing for Father's Day. Then this afternoon we ate even more food, including a special cake that S-Boogie decorated at the grocery store yesterday afternoon. It was a quick trip for my parents and sister, but I was glad we could all spend time together. I love the opportunity to see my kids interacting with their relatives and the good times we can have together. I also think that it is serendipitous that graduat...

Well, I guess he has medias verdes , not calzas , but I still think he's pretty sexy. Mr. Fob's education this school year is being paid for by a "foreign language and area studies grant", which means that he gets to take Spanish and European Studies classes along with his library ones. Last quarter he took a class on Golden Age drama, and now this quarter he's in a continuation class that will be presenting three short plays in Spanish next weekend. While on the one hand I've been a little stressed about the whole deal because I have to get babysitting next week while he practices every night, I think it's pretty cool that he's going to be in a play. Actually, two plays. For those of you who know what I'm talking about, he's Chanfalla in El retablo de las maravillas and then he gets to portray "El Occidente" in a loa by Sor Juana (I think it's El divino narciso ). Last night when I came home he was in the process of making an ov...

Just when you thought you knew everything about me, I got tagged again. This time by Kengo Biddles , who I think is cool. The interesting twist on this particular meme is that it has been dubbed "The 8 Random Gay Mormon Facts", probably because it is circulating among the Gay Mormon bloggers. I am not Gay, but I am Mormon, so I will go ahead and answer. 1. Part of the reason for posting this today is because I recently wrote a post on Northern Lights and I know I am getting new visitors who were linked from that post. I thought they might want to know more about me than cookbook reviews and musings on my lack of cleavage. 2. I mostly submitted that post to Northern Lights because it felt funny to put it on my blog. I started this blog two years ago as my personal space, and so it deals with all facets of my life, not just my relationship with Mr. Fob. I will probably contribute occasionally to Northern Lights because I like what they are doing and I feel better about contrib...

Well, I watched myself on camera and I did not die. I sound a lot like my sister, I think. I also didn't look at the camera much, but it was hard to tell where to look when they were filming. I was also relieved that our apartment didn't look too much like a dank little starving student hole (it's really not that bad, but it's kind of small and brown). Overall, I thought both segments were well done and that it was good coverage of this issue. I'm sure the Evergreen bit will be a little controversial--their position is hotly debated among gay Mormons. I like that she ended with words from Dr. Beckstead about how the important thing is to have realistic expectations going into a relationship and to explore all options. One area of emphasis that I didn't like particularly was the fact that people keep focusing on the fact that we "struggle sometimes with intimacy". Um, which married couples out there don't? Sexual intimacy is a hard thing for partner...

Get your Tivo or your VCR ready: tomorrow night we're going to be on Fox 13 News at 9. I'm really getting nervous about this. We haven't seen the finished segment, but the taping did go well. The reporter who interviewed us was really nice and seemed genuinely interested in our story. I'm pretty sure it will be a positive segment, especially since she mentioned that already interviewed a man who tried marriage and didn't have it work out well (our section is part of a series about mixed-orientation marriages). I just hope that I didn't mumble too much or that I don't sound totally dopey. I sometimes feel a little uncomfortable because I don't think we have as much drama as people would like us to have. It's a pretty basic story; most of the turmoil has happened on the inside. But, I think that's also part of our point: we're normal people living fairly normal lives. I just hope that comes across on the television.

So I feel a little sad that Absent-minded Secretary wrote a better post about my husband than I did, but that doesn't mean I don't love him. He's pretty spectacular. Like for instance, I'm about to head out the door for my morning walk, and even though I know he'd rather sleep in, he's taking care of the other people in our house who have yet to learn the joys of sleeping past 7 AM. Thanks dear! I love you--I'll let you sleep in tomorrow. Happy, Happy Birthday!

My mom still likes chuckle about the fact that when I was four I announced one day "I don't ever want to get married and have babies--it's too much work!". Well, here I am, married and having babies, and it is a lot of work. There are a lot of days where I step back and can't believe that this is my life. I never really thought much about getting married while I was growing up. I found my journal from junior high, and in it I mused often about living alone on a remote island in Alaska studying whale migration patterns. I never babysat as a teenager and generally didn't like little kids very much. The honest truth is that I still only really like kids in small doses and am not a big fan of them, especially the ones who aren't related to me. Matrimony and maternalness weren't really part of my dreams as a youth. I think that part of this aversion to marriage was a defensive strategy; I've known since I was quite young that I'm not the type of per...

One thing that I'm realizing about myself is that I'm really bad at asking for help or for admitting that I just can't do something. The "nice" thing about post-partum hormones is that when I get overwhelmed they make me break down in a sobbing mess, so it's pretty obvious that I've just been faking it. At least Master Fob is patient with me and understands that it's just the estrogen talking. Also, I feel really guilty asking Master Fob to do things around the house. I realized this the other day, because I don't feel bad asking S-Boogie to do things for herself, like picking up her toys or putting her clothes away. But for some reason I feel terrible about asking my husband to do things. I think I spoil him, because I usually just do most things myself (like cleaning the bathroom, taking out the trash, etc.) He usually doesn't notice if I don't say anything, and I hate saying something. (I also feel bad because he already goes to work all...