Regrets

Some ideas have been floating around in my head lately regarding past decisions and how they affect our lives now. It was partly influenced by a post I recently read in another forum about what you would write in a letter to your younger self. I was intrigued by the idea and immediately started composing a fabulous letter warning myself of all the possible consequences of the decisions I was about to make. Then I realized that if I had not made those decisions, I would not have the wisdom that I now possess, the wisdom that, unfortunately, allows me to see how dumb I sometimes was. This is the paradox of life, I think. We have to stumble around in the dark. It's the only way to learn. And it's a scary way to learn. I have always loved the metaphor that Boyd K. Packer used in a talk called "The Candle of the Lord". Personal revelation is only a candle, not enough to illuminate all the darkness. But if we want to go ahead we must push forward, illuminating only a few steps in front of ourselves. Lately I've been paranoid about doing anything and I've preferred to stand in the comfort of my little circle of light. I'm afraid if I take a leap, or even a step, I might run smack into a wall or run off a cliff. I know I need to have more faith, do the things that will make my candle brighter, and start moving in a good direction. Who knows, maybe I'll find out that I can fly?