My new fuzzy orange chair

We just spent this weekend in Wyoming at a family reunion that was absolutely perfect. I wasn't sure that things were going to be so great on Friday afternoon during the long drive, which included a stop to get my sister at the airport in Salt Lake before heading up. Things started looking up when she bought us all ice cream bars in Evanston at the Maverik. Two hours later we pulled into my aunt's driveway and I immediately started to relax thanks to the clean mountain air and the gorgeous scenery. My aunt is amazing for hosting everyone at her home (not everyone slept there), and it was a fabulous time. Friday night we ate burgers around a bonfire in the yard and the kids ate smores with freshly roasted marshmallows. The next day we got up, had a big pancake breakfast, and headed over to my grandmother's house to work on cleaning it out. She passed away three years ago, but this weekend was a good opportunity to help my uncle clean things out. There was plenty of junk, like ancient food storage and a massive collection of cottage cheese containers, but also some fun treasures like the postcards my great uncle the pilot sent from all over Europe during the 1960s. Saturday afternoon the kids got to go for some short horse rides, then we had a program that centered on my grandfather and his life. We had a big dinner with some super tasty dutch oven chicken and potatoes and then went into town to visit the cemetery (it's a tradition). One of the most relaxing parts for me was having so many other people around for my kids to play with. Many of my cousins have kids that are similar ages, plus my parents and most of my siblings were there to entertain the kids too. It was nice to not have a schedule and to just relax and have fun eating and talking with other people. Even the drive back yesterday went well and we got home as quickly as possible.


And so, the chair. For as long as I can remember, this chair has been in my grandma's living room. It was in the corner near the doorway to the kitchen, convenient for chatting on the phone or for reading one of the magazines from the stack that always seemed to cover the brown desk next to it. We need more living room furniture and my uncle is trying to fix up the house, so I asked if we could have it. Thankfully my parents were there with their truck to transport it to our home on their way back south. It is comfortable and nostalgic all at the same time and I'm glad I have it to remember my grandmother by. I'm looking forward to cuddling our new baby in it this winter and I hope it will last a while for us. I think it also is a great symbol of my grandmother: it's not very flashy and not the most stylish, but it's exceedingly comfortable and welcoming just the same.

Settling In

I can't believe that nearly a week has gone by without a post; we've all been adjusting to living in a new home in a 'new' place. Some things are good, like the fact that we have family members close by that love to visit and even like to have our kids over for sleepovers. Others are mixed blessings, like the fact that Mr. Fob got promoted to full-time at his job. Yes, it's a blessing, since the money is great, but it's an adjustment for all of us as he transitions to working that many hours a week. Plus his company is too small to offer benefits so we've spent many hours this week trying to arrange some sort of insurance coverage for us. I'm hoping Mr. Fob will get some sort of benefited position at a local library before next February so this baby doesn't bankrupt us. If not, at least we're saving our money now.

I've also been avoiding posting because I don't want to spend all my time moaning about how crappy I feel. I already did that last pregnancy. Some days I'm more fatigued than nauseated, others more nauseated than fatigued. Mostly I just want to lounge on the couch and eat ice cream, but sadly I have children that won't allow me to do that. We've been filling our time with other good things. Playing with cousins, shopping at DI (today I found this for only 75 cents!), going to the swimming pool, riding bikes in the driveway, summer reading at the library. Slowly I'm learning how to be the full-time mom; it will probably be easier when I want to eat something besides sour gummy bears and french fries.

Putting the 'flex' in flexitarian

During the last year or two we have increasingly described ourselves as 'vegetarian', but the truth is we are more like 'flexitarians'. I haven't bought meat for about a year now, but we still indulge in fast food from time to time and will often eat meat when others serve it to us. As I typed that sentence about not buying meat, I realized that I have been buying some fish, so it is probably simply hopeless to attempt to label ourselves and we should just go ahead and eat what we want. Lately we've decided that adding some beef back into our diets would probably be a good thing. We're scouting out sources of local, pasture-raised healthy beef so we can buy some for this winter. I know that many women can have healthy pregnancies with a vegetarian diet, but I've struggled with anemia in the past and my digestive issues make me wary of adding too much iron in supplement form. We will probably still eat meat only about once a week and will put some fish into the rotation as well. The truth is, I kind of like beef and am looking forward to adding some back into our diet.

I also thought I'd share a recipe for one of our favorite ways to use canned salmon. My kids love these and gobble them up every time I serve them. The recipe makes eight, which is really only enough for four adults (two cakes each), but you could probably double it if you wanted to. I also keep meaning to try these as a sandwich on a nice chewy roll with some honey mustard sauce and crispy lettuce. The original recipe suggests a honey mustard sauce, which you make by stirring together a tablespoon of honey mustard and one-fourth cup mayonnaise. We also like them with mango salsa or even tartar sauce.

Salmon Cakes

2 cans (6-7 oz size) boneless, skinless salmon
1 egg
¼ cup milk
¼ cup chopped green onions
1 tsp. dried dill or lemon pepper
1/4 cup dry bread crumbs
1-2 tbls. cooking oil

Beat egg and milk together in a bowl; stir in salmon and remaining ingredients except for oil. Form mixture into eight small patties, each about ½ inch thick. Heat oil in a large skillet over medium heat and fry on both sides until golden brown (about 3 minutes each side).

Moving Still Sucks

When I started this blog four years ago I didn't realize that it would turn into a chronicle of the constant upheaval that has marked our lives for the last few years. A quick look at the archives reveals over twenty posts labelled "moving", and reading through them brings back such strong memories that the stress hormones start racing through my blood all over again. I thought this time would be different because we had a nice house picked out and we were moving somewhere familiar and cheaper. Plus we weren't dragging things out over several days or weeks and Mr. Fob actually still has a job.

Well, I discovered that moving is never fun. This move was a little less painful than others, but more in the way of ripping off a band-aid rather than peeling it slowly. Still hurts. Friday morning we picked up the moving van and loaded it up. That morning actually went pretty well; we had a lot of people show up to help us load the truck and clean our apartment. I was so grateful for the help and don't think I would have made it through the day without it. Then my mom and I got in the car with the kids and Mr. Fob got in the truck with our stuff and we drove as far as Winnemucca. The drive wasn't too bad, but slower than we expected due to construction and rain. We stayed in a nice hotel in one of the biggest rooms I've ever seen. I'm glad that Friday wasn't too bad because Saturday was worse. First of all, I-80 is under construction all the way across northern Nevada. Neither of the kids slept at all during the entire day. We discovered that Wendover has no decent restaurant options and so had McDonalds for lunch per the kids' request. Then there was massive accident near Tooele that completely shut down the freeway. At that point I was already starting to lose it, so at my mom's urging I drove on the right shoulder for a mile past parked semi-trucks to get off the interstate and take the back roads around to Lehi. Thankfully that worked and I managed to get to our new home only about three hours behind schedule and with my sanity not completely gone.

In the days since we've actually spent a lot of time visiting friends and family and running errands, but I've managed to get a few rooms unpacked. It's been great to be here with family and friends again and we feel good about our decision to move here. The house is nice and big, but with some of the quirks that older homes have. Like an assortment of light switches with no discernable purpose. And a bathroom covered in pink and black tile. Apparently the people living here before us didn't do much cleaning or taking care of things, and even though the managers are good at helping out we'll probably be more proactive about making this a cozy home. It's still a little unreal to have an entire house and yard to take care of.

The biggest challenge for me with this move has been my incredible fatigue. Plus being tired makes me cranky, so I'm hormonally cranky and tired cranky all at once. My poor kids. We've instituted 'quiet time' in the afternoon because I can't get through the day without a nap. We haven't actually told them straight out that we're having a baby yet, but I think they're figuring it out. Either that or mommy managed to leave all her energy behind in California.

Feeling Lighter Already

Even though I decided a few months ago that I was done with grad school and that we wanted to move on to something else I've still been feeling a lot of angst about the decision. This morning was S-Boogie's end of the year program at school and I felt some pangs of regret while watching her singing in Spanish along with all her friends. My decision to drop school and our decision to move back to Utah aren't totally related, but as much as we like living here it's still far from our families and expensive. But it keeps feeling like the right thing, even though in many ways it looks like the wrong one. This afternoon I had a little meeting with the graduate advisor and it was much better than I had expected it to be. I basically told her that I'd loved the program here (really, it's an awesome place for grad school), but that it just wasn't the right choice for me in my life right now. And she agreed. She told me that I'm young, I have small children, and I have years ahead of me to figure out if I want to come back to school or not. I think she's right. And as I was leaving the building I had that feeling; I knew I was making the right choice. The right choice for me in my life right now. Other people might have made a different one, but I am all right and on the right track. During the last few months I've been acting on faith that this is what I wanted, but now I know that my life isn't over because I'm no longer in graduate school. And I'm really looking forward to the chance to be pregnant without having school hanging over me. This is my last baby and it will be nice to just enjoy it as much as I can.

Ten Years

This past week marks ten years since I went to the temple for the first time and received my endowment. For most of my life I remember wondering about the temple because I had heard so much about it from other people. My mother went regularly and was a good example to me of faithfulness in attending. During the last few years I haven't been so great at going to the temple. It's been more of a challenge with my busy schedule and the distance (although both those things are poor excuses). I've decided to commit to going more frequently once we move, and I'm trying to decide on a reasonable goal. Every two weeks seems like a lot, every month seems like a little. I think I'll see how I feel in the upcoming months as well. I guess my testimony of the temple is mostly based on how I feel when I leave. It's a place to spend some time away from the rest of the world and commune with God, to get a handle on who I really am and to focus on what I can do to live a better life. When I am inside, I often feel like I am in some sort of a warm cocoon or 'spiritual hug', and when I leave I always feel energized and ready to get back to my life. Like I said, I haven't been going very often lately and I thought that I'd write down some of my thoughts to remind myself of why I go in hopes of inspiring myself to keep going back.

A Little Souvenir From California

Reading Roundup: April and May 2009

My waning enthusiasm for school is clearly evident in the amount of books I've read during the last two months. I wonder if I'll keep up the reading habit now that I don't have anything to avoid.

East of the Mountains by David Guterson

I picked up this book because one of Guterson's other books, Snow Falling on Cedars, is one of my favorites. This one has equally beautiful writing, but the characters and plot just weren't as compelling. I also thought the ending felt a little too pat and didn't seem to fit with the protagonist's personality.

The Country Ahead of Us, The Country Behind by David Guterson

I happened to be in the short story section of the library and decided to grab this since I had just finished reading the other book by Guterson. As in his other work that I've read, the writing was beautiful and very evocative of time and place. But most of the stories felt just like most other short stories I've read recently and did not impress me much. There were a few that were really good, and some had details that still stick in my mind.

Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil by John Berendt

I knew nothing about this book before reading it, and I'm still not sure what to think of it. It is just as much a 'travelogue' as a true-crime story, and a lot of fun to read. Probably not for the squeamish due to some of the more colorful characters, but still a good read.

Sun and Moon, Ice and Snow by Jessica Day George

This felt like many other similar fantasy books I've read recently; it had echoes of Beauty and Goose Girl, since it is also a retelling of a fairy tale with a strong female protagonist. That doesn't mean that I didn't enjoy it or that I didn't think it was a good book. Just because fairy tales have conventions doesn't make them inferior; for what it was, I thought it was a fabulous book and I couldn't put it down or stop reading it. I would recommend it for those who love fantasy and a good adventure with a satisfying ending.

Possession by A.S. Byatt

I've read this book four or five times now; it's become one of my 'comfort' books, despite the fact that it's really long and dense and full of made-up Victorian poetry. No rereading is as good as the first, since it's both a romance and a mystery, but it's still a great book. Especially if you're into literary criticism, but even if you're not I think you'd still enjoy it.

Movies

Vera Drake

This is a movie I'm still pondering, nearly two months after watching it. First of all, from a technical standpoint it's fascinating. The acting is superb and the cinematography just perfect. It's a 'small', understated movie about a small, understated woman. It has an obvious political slant, and yet it doesn't shout at you and you don't even realize what the message is until the movie is over.

Doubt

This is another character-driven movie with great acting. I'm still not sure how I feel about Meryl Streep's performance; it is over-the-top like she always is, but I'm not sure that's out of sync with how her character should be. She is the hysterical one in a sea of people who are not. It's also a movie that leaves you feeling unsettled, because the ending is ambiguous. After all, it is about doubt.

Changeling

I didn't know much about this movie other than the fact that I really like what Clint Eastwood does. I was not disappointed, though I still don't think this measures up to some of his other stuff. For one thing, the story is kind of long and meandering. It probably could have been tightened up. And I didn't like Angelina Jolie very much in her role, which is a problem because she's the main character. The portrayal of Los Angeles also felt a little slick, like it was trying to look like a movie about L.A. and not historical L.A. itself. That said, I still enjoyed the movie and didn't feel it was a waste of my time.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Sadly, this movie did feel like a waste of my time. I thought it was absolutely beautiful, Brad Pitt and the cinematography. But I just didn't like the story much; it felt too much like the main characters didn't do a lot, and I didn't find Benjamin to be a very sympathetic character at all. I have a feeling that this will be the sort of movie people start falling out of love with in a few years. Also, I guess I feel bugged because it felt like a higher-class Forrest Gump. And that bugs me for two reasons. First of all, Forrest Gump is aware that it's cheesy and yet it doesn't care; second, Forrest just seemed like a more likeable character and he was generally trying to help other people and he was loyal to his family.

Australia

This was our third historical epic in a row, but we made it through unscathed. It certainly felt like Baz Luhrmann film and kept us on our toes with delightfully unexpected things throughout. At the same time, that was a bit of a weakness for the movie because it felt disjointed and weak in parts. But overall it was a fun movie and we enjoyed watching it.

Cinema Paradiso

I've seen this one a few times before, but had to watch it again for a class. It's a fun movie about the power of movies and the power of nostalgia. I love both the actor playing the protagonist as a kid and the one playing him as a teenager.