Feeling Lighter Already

Even though I decided a few months ago that I was done with grad school and that we wanted to move on to something else I've still been feeling a lot of angst about the decision. This morning was S-Boogie's end of the year program at school and I felt some pangs of regret while watching her singing in Spanish along with all her friends. My decision to drop school and our decision to move back to Utah aren't totally related, but as much as we like living here it's still far from our families and expensive. But it keeps feeling like the right thing, even though in many ways it looks like the wrong one. This afternoon I had a little meeting with the graduate advisor and it was much better than I had expected it to be. I basically told her that I'd loved the program here (really, it's an awesome place for grad school), but that it just wasn't the right choice for me in my life right now. And she agreed. She told me that I'm young, I have small children, and I have years ahead of me to figure out if I want to come back to school or not. I think she's right. And as I was leaving the building I had that feeling; I knew I was making the right choice. The right choice for me in my life right now. Other people might have made a different one, but I am all right and on the right track. During the last few months I've been acting on faith that this is what I wanted, but now I know that my life isn't over because I'm no longer in graduate school. And I'm really looking forward to the chance to be pregnant without having school hanging over me. This is my last baby and it will be nice to just enjoy it as much as I can.

Comments

Vanessa Swenson said…
I love it when decisions like this are confirmed so clearly--and when people understand your reasons why and support. (Almost) welcome back to UT.
6/09/2009 11:15 PM
Kristi said…
Yay! I love having that feeling that I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. It's nice to be able to have the little confirmations that, yes, you're on the right track.

Also, I know that there's an elementary school in Orem that does a Spanish immersion program. I think it's Northridge. There are some kids in our ward who go there. They also have a great music teacher - he was my piano teacher when I was 4-8.
6/09/2009 11:44 PM
Jenny said…
Closure is so nice.

What is also nice (if you can call being pregnant nice) is not having any other obligations besides kids while pregnant. I hope the move is as seamless as possible.
6/10/2009 7:00 AM
Desmama said…
I am so happy for you--not only that you'll be closer but that you feel good about your decision. And that you're pregnant--I'm thrilled! (Do you know your approximate due date?)
6/10/2009 10:16 AM
BurkeAndEmily said…
Oh yes, if it's practical for you I would definitely enroll your kids in Northridge. Their Spanish immersion program is great and as Kristeee said, the music program is a-maz-ing! Utah doesn't require kids to go to the school whose boundaries the child lives in.

I'm so glad you got such a wonderful confirmation.
6/10/2009 10:44 AM
Science Teacher Mommy said…
yes. Yes. YES! And it doesn't matter if it "seems" to be the right thing. I don't think you can go wrong if you follow your heart. It will work out.
6/10/2009 5:06 PM
skyeJ said…
I love that feeling of peace that can only come from God.
6/10/2009 9:36 PM
Desi said…
It's wonderful that you are able to have that feeling that what you are doing is the right thing...that's something I struggle with often and it's so nice when you actually get comfirmation.
6/12/2009 4:02 PM
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