Radical Changes
I've been pondering lately how to truly change habits. It seems like it is so hard to do, even when I have good reasons for change. For example, we generally have a pretty healthy diet but I've been wanting to change a few things about it. And yet, every time I go to the grocery store I still buy the same things. One of these days I'll get around to posting about the food issue; that's not really what's on my mind now.
I've been thinking about our upcoming summer vacation and how I can make it pleasant for everyone in the family. S-Boogie loves school and I think she's going to have a hard time without it. I believe in time for free play and the positive value of boredom, but I'm also trying to come up with a bit of schedule for our days so we aren't always sitting around the house driving each other nuts. The other day I was thinking about television time and how to manage it when the thought came to me "just don't have it at all." No television for the kids all summer? Am I crazy?
Before S-Boogie was born I was determined that my kids would not ever watch television. My family didn't have a TV until I was about eight. But we had a large yard and I had two siblings close in age that I could play with. And my parents were not both in school. I did keep S-Boogie away from the television until she was about one year old, but then I started letting her watch Signing Time. That was usually the only thing she watched for the next year, and I actually don't regret it. It's a fairly short program and it does a great job teaching signs. Then she started getting really sick and we discovered that one of the few ways to entertain a hospitalized toddler, or a toddler using a nebulizer, was television. So she started watching more. Then I had Little Dude and we really get into the TV habit during my first few months of recovery. Now when I think about it we probably could have come up with alternatives to TV in all these situations, but I didn't. Oh well. I've still generally been good about limiting their time to about two hours a day and making sure they only watch kid-friendly shows (like Dora, Backyardigans, Arthur, Super Why, etc).
The problem is that the TV regulating has gotten much more difficult as the kids have gotten older. Actually, Little Dude still doesn't like watching it very much and will often get bored after twenty minutes or so. Sometimes I actually beg him to watch something so I can take a shower without worrying that he'll tear down the house (it doesn't always work). S-Boogie, on the other hand, is pretty attached to television. One Sunday a few weeks ago, when the parents were feeling too tired to enforce the rules, she sat and watched it for five hours straight. It makes her cranky when she watches that much TV, plus it's such a big deal to her that we spend lots of time negotiating when and how much she can watch. Generally she doesn't get to watch any on school days, but some times I give in.
I had been thinking of various ways to have her earn TV time during the summer but really wasn't coming up with anything good. So the thought of just not making it an issue at all really appeals to me. It also scares me because it means more work for me as a mom. I can't just say 'go away and watch the TV', which is a habit I've developed as well. It would mean a lot of changes; no more getting DVDs from the library, no more worrying about which show is on when, no more uninterrupted time for me. But I think the kids are old enough to handle it. We have a backyard now and we live close to a park and a pool where we will spend some time. We will also still have our weekly family movie night as well. I think the idea is tempting also because it seems like a challenge. And even though challenges scare me a bit, they are also a bit exciting. Summer vacation doesn't start for about two more months so I have more time to think about it.
I've been thinking about our upcoming summer vacation and how I can make it pleasant for everyone in the family. S-Boogie loves school and I think she's going to have a hard time without it. I believe in time for free play and the positive value of boredom, but I'm also trying to come up with a bit of schedule for our days so we aren't always sitting around the house driving each other nuts. The other day I was thinking about television time and how to manage it when the thought came to me "just don't have it at all." No television for the kids all summer? Am I crazy?
Before S-Boogie was born I was determined that my kids would not ever watch television. My family didn't have a TV until I was about eight. But we had a large yard and I had two siblings close in age that I could play with. And my parents were not both in school. I did keep S-Boogie away from the television until she was about one year old, but then I started letting her watch Signing Time. That was usually the only thing she watched for the next year, and I actually don't regret it. It's a fairly short program and it does a great job teaching signs. Then she started getting really sick and we discovered that one of the few ways to entertain a hospitalized toddler, or a toddler using a nebulizer, was television. So she started watching more. Then I had Little Dude and we really get into the TV habit during my first few months of recovery. Now when I think about it we probably could have come up with alternatives to TV in all these situations, but I didn't. Oh well. I've still generally been good about limiting their time to about two hours a day and making sure they only watch kid-friendly shows (like Dora, Backyardigans, Arthur, Super Why, etc).
The problem is that the TV regulating has gotten much more difficult as the kids have gotten older. Actually, Little Dude still doesn't like watching it very much and will often get bored after twenty minutes or so. Sometimes I actually beg him to watch something so I can take a shower without worrying that he'll tear down the house (it doesn't always work). S-Boogie, on the other hand, is pretty attached to television. One Sunday a few weeks ago, when the parents were feeling too tired to enforce the rules, she sat and watched it for five hours straight. It makes her cranky when she watches that much TV, plus it's such a big deal to her that we spend lots of time negotiating when and how much she can watch. Generally she doesn't get to watch any on school days, but some times I give in.
I had been thinking of various ways to have her earn TV time during the summer but really wasn't coming up with anything good. So the thought of just not making it an issue at all really appeals to me. It also scares me because it means more work for me as a mom. I can't just say 'go away and watch the TV', which is a habit I've developed as well. It would mean a lot of changes; no more getting DVDs from the library, no more worrying about which show is on when, no more uninterrupted time for me. But I think the kids are old enough to handle it. We have a backyard now and we live close to a park and a pool where we will spend some time. We will also still have our weekly family movie night as well. I think the idea is tempting also because it seems like a challenge. And even though challenges scare me a bit, they are also a bit exciting. Summer vacation doesn't start for about two more months so I have more time to think about it.
Comments
I think I'd explore your options about cutting back. Maybe you could sit down with the kids and make a list of, say, two shows each day they can watch. They can look forward to those each day, but when they're over, they're over, and they've got to find something else to do. Maybe you can do shows in the morning (so you can shower) and playing in the yard, then quiet time or naps in the afternoon after lunch, and then a trip to the park or library before dinner. I don't know, just an idea. As kids we got 1/2 hour of TV each day--total--(so we watched, like, the Cosby Show or something).
That way, it's something they can look forward to but they're not just parked in front of the TV waiting for the next thing to come on.
Good luck. I'll be interested to hear other people's ideas and suggestions.
If you're going to go the no TV route I can't imagine it working any other way than removing the TV from your house. Otherwise it's too tempting at times or too much begging will occur, is my guess.
Also, you could make a giant cardboard box TV and get them to act out their shows instead to entertain themselves or make up new "shows" :) That should be fun for them for about a week.
I think one thing you can hang on to is that you can always try out the no TV thing...a trial period, maybe? If it doesn't work out, you don't have to cling to it, and going without won't have hurt the kids any. Just a thought.
Anyways, my mom totally did the no TV thing before it was cool, but she says it made her kids so much more creative. Letting us play in the backyard, do crafts with the junk bin, our brio train set, legos, etc. Oh and the dress up bin. You're definitely on the right track- maybe just keep a TV with DVD player for netflix or something and cut cable? It has to work for your family but it definitely can work. PS: This was in Provo, UT.
I like the idea of 1-2 shows a day they're allowed to watch and no more. I know some friends of mine had some cool device that allowed each child to enter a personal code to allow them time on the TV, and then it turned itself off when the time was up. That way it wasn't the parents fighting the battle of how long they could watch (or play nintendo).
Then again, I can see the argument for no TV. The media doesn't need to raise our kids, and there's so much to explore and do that TV (and the internet!) interferes with.
We didn't have a tv for a LONG time. We were little kids. Do it. Get it out. There are tons of research studies that say it just rots the brain. Period. Especially in kids. Do whatever you have to do.
Invest in things like craft drawers with stuff in them, dress up clothes, and "play out in the yard" stuff. Boredom is good for kids.