Yellow Wallpaper

Why is January always so crappy? I wish I knew. Actually, this January was slightly better than January was last year. Last year the weather was much colder and Little Dude had a broken foot. At least this year the temperatures were closer to normal winter weather, though we've had very little snow and way too many days of nasty, hazy inversion. If I'm going to live in a state with winter, I'd like some decent winter weather.  About two weeks ago P. Bibby got sick with a fever and a cough. I knew a virus was going around and thought that she'd be sick for a few days and then get better. She had a fever Monday and was still sick on Tuesday. Then, on Wednesday when I got home from work she looked much worse, rather than much better like I had hoped. I took her temperature and watched the thermometer climb up to nearly 104! I was able to get her in to see the after-hours doctor and was actually relieved when he looked in her ears and diagnosed them as both infected. In m

About once a month I have a few days that are just terrible. Everything is bleak and awful, I'm a terrible person, and my life is just plain hopeless. Than I wake up one morning and things are great again (well, things are less-than-great physically for a few more days, but mentally they are fine). Despite the fact that this happens regularly every 30 days, when I am in the middle of it I have a hard time remembering that what I am feeling is just temporary and will eventually go away if I just wait it out. Although some of the things I feel or say during those days may be true, or at least partially true, I should more closely examine my conclusions once my brain is a little more calm. Hence, last night's blog post and today's reconsideration of my thoughts.  A few years ago I read about an idea that, while it makes perfect sense, I'd never heard articulated so clearly before. For some reason it just had never penetrated into my brain, and obviously it didn't mak

One thing I don't like about myself is that my brain has this weird panic reaction when plans change or things don't go as I had expected they would. I know what you're thinking--isn't that how life is every day? Things never go like they should, so aren't I freaking out all the time? Well, yes and no. I've learned to deal with it most of the time and generally I can roll with the punches. But, if I'm already stressed out or something, the automatic reactions take over and I end up looking like a crazy person.  Today at the beginning of Primary I had a weird interaction with someone. This morning I got a call from one of the counselors in the presidency asking if I might be willing to help with piano a bit during junior primary. Our regular pianist was going to be gone for that hour and we had a found a substitute, but she wouldn't be available until later in the hour for singing time. Playing the piano is not a problem for me at all so I agreed to do

Today was a good Sunday; last week we switched to morning church again after a year of afternoons. The later schedule was nice in some ways, especially since every other week I had a morning off without kids. Even with that little 'perk' I still didn't like it very much. So far the last two weeks have gone well and we've gotten there right on time and with a lot less stress than we did at 1:00. When we have church first thing I feel a lot less stressed out because we haven't had all morning to deal with before we go. It's easier to just wake up, get ready, and head out the door. This morning the kids were with Mr. Fob; I got up and dressed before he dropped them off--then they quickly changed and we got out the door. Sacrament meeting was uneventful and Primary went well. P. Bibby has been a Sunbeam for two weeks now and really loves it. It helps that she's the oldest in the class and does preschool with several of the other kids so she knows them well alrea

As I sit here Sunday night, I feel anxious about jumping back into our routine tomorrow morning. After two weeks of being off school and having plenty of lazy mornings for everyone I think re-entry is going to be rough. This week was pretty relaxing, even with three days of work included in it.  I had to work on Monday, but the kids didn't have to be anywhere so it was nice to just get up and get myself ready instead of having to try and get all of us out the door. The workday was a bit stressful simply because it was our last day of 2013 and we had things that needed to get done. This was my first year in this job doing all the year-end tasks and I've been stressed out for the last few weeks with making sure everything gets done right. Doing something for the first time is always tricky and I hope next year will be better. Monday night was a fairly typical night and I tried to get the kids to bed at a reasonable time.  Tuesday morning we started out with homemade waffles i

(Previous years: 2012 , 2011 , 2010 , 2009 , 2008 , 2007 ) I read 88 books in 2013. This is about 10 less than the previous two years, but still quite a lot of books. As has been the trend for a few years now, the number is padded by the amount of books I read for the Whitney Awards at the beginning of the year.  I only read 8 nonfiction books and 80 fiction books. Although my number of nonfiction books read has been dropping for years, I didn't realize the ratio had become so lopsided. I think there are a number of reasons for this. 23 of the books I read were Whitney Finalists, which are all going to be fiction. I also read more reviews of fiction books, and I often get ideas about what to read next from recommendations on sites like Amazon, so when I read fiction I get recommendations for other fiction. This year and last I have also gravitated toward easier, less literary books because I have used reading more for escape than I used to in the past. I have started a few nonf