Ten Reasons Why I'm Not a Fashionista

1. I don't wear any jewelry besides my wedding ring. Once upon a time I wore earrings and even sometimes necklaces, but I haven't done either for years. I've always hated bracelets.

2. Those tall leather boots with big heels really scare me.

3. Actually, I don't like to wear any shoes with heels. I prefer not to wear shoes at all, so the less shoe the better.

4. I like to wear jumpers. With white cotton knee-highs underneath to keep my legs warm. I don't really like to wear shirt and skirt combos, so I'm counting down until Little Dude stops nursing so I can wear dresses to church again.

5. I hate wearing makeup and I have no idea how to put it on. I will sometimes wear some powder, mascara and lip gloss if I want to be "fancy" and distract people from looking at my zits.

6. I don't like wearing black clothes. I don't like white clothes either, because I'm always afraid of getting them dirty.

7. I hate layering clothes, so I've never gotten into the whole "wear three shirts at a time" thing.

8. I only own white cotton socks and a few pairs of tights for Sundays. No fancy socks for me.

9. Even though I'm short, I don't buy petite pants, so all of my pants drag on the ground and get dirty and frayed at the edges.

10. I don't like three-quarter sleeves, shawl collars, loud prints, fancy glittery embellishments, or anything that will call attention to myself.


amyjane said…
I hear you on many of those things. I do have a thing for cute socks though. :) I've really had to work to care about looking decent now that I'm at home though. Hard to put effort into it when you know you'll be covered in spaghetti and animal cracker remains by 1 PM.
Th. said…

It is not too late, however, to become a thashionista.
Kengo Biddles said…
AtP could help you with the layer thing...he's told me that he often wears at least 3 or 4 shirts at once. :)

And being a fashionista's over-rated, anyway. A thashionista on the other hand ...
Anonymous said…
You mean you don't like wearing all your clothes at one time with a pair of hooker boots? I saw a pregnant woman wearing like 4 shirts once. That totally blew my mind.

What drives me crazy now is all the nasty leggings under everyone's clothes. Blah.
Anonymous said…
Speaking of leggings . . . why are eighties styles making a comeback? I thought that the eighties were really the epitome of everything that fashion shouldn'tdo, places it just shouldn't go. I can't get on board with leggings, and it has nothing to do with the fact that I have given birth to two children.
Melyngoch said…
1. I wear jewelry almost everyday. But at least I don't wear a wedding ring! (It would definitely mean I'd caved to patriarcy.)

2. That's why I wear them. (I mean,
not to scare you; to scare freshlings. Sorrs about it if I've ever scared you . . . )

3. Although I find shoes uncomfortable, I nonetheles buy them in enormous quantities. (It makes sense if you think about it in terms of patriarchy.)

4. Jumpers are cozy, I agree. I far prefer skirts and tops to dresses, though.

5. I wear make-up most of the time too. Especially with the rainbow-hair, it looks weird if it my skin's not all one color.

6. I rarely wear white, but I love black. It makes me seem scary.

7. I love layering clothes, but a lot of that probably has to do with the fact that I can't pass up a cheap clo, even if it's entirely slutty. Layering is the only way to wear more than half the things I own.

8. But fishnets?

9. I do this too, and eventually the bottom few inches just give in and rip off, which looks even weirder. Fortunatley, looking weird doesn't bother me much. (See everything above.)

10. or anything that will call attentin to myself
This is probably the fundamental point of idealogical divergence between us.

And that's why no man will ever love me.
Melyngoch said…
(Can we still be friends, though? I mean, since we've both surrendered to patriarchy and all . . .)
skyeJ said…
I agree with melyngoch's #2 sentiment. I have had a pair of hooker boots for six years. I love them. I am five eleven. They have three and a half inch heels. I love wearing them because they DO scare people. They scare away the ones I want to scare away.
skyeJ said…
P.S. POO ON ALL LEGGINGS. FOREVER. BLECHKY POOP POO. They make me want to retch and threaten my sense of control over my various bodily functions.

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