Reading Roundup: February 2010

The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion

This was an interesting read. It's as close to 'pure' creative nonfiction as you can get: Didion uses writing to work through her grief after the sudden death of her husband. There aren't any big lessons or morals, just exploration of thoughts, ideas, and memories.

The Big Rock Candy Mountain by Wallace Stegner

Yes, I've been on a bit of a Stegner kick lately. I plan on reading even more after this, so be prepared. This one started slowly and I wasn't sure about it for the first hundred pages or so. Then it really started to pull me in and I could barely put it down. I can tell it's an earlier work and I didn't think it was quite as polished as some of his later ones, but it's still a good book just the same.

Stones from the River by Ursula Hegi

I've had this book on my list for years, but for some reason it just never sounded interesting to me. It turned out to be one of those books that you miss when you're done because you wish you could spend more time with the characters. The book is dense with detail about a small community and yet every one of the people it talks about seems unique and real. I've read a lot of books about Germany during the early twentieth century and yet this one managed to feel unique in many ways.

The Ministry of Special Cases by Nathan Englander

This is a book I thought I would like and ended up really disliking. I only finished it because I was intrigued by the plot and because I wanted to see if it would get better. I guess I just wasn't in the mood for the sort of dark humor and absurdism that make this book unique. It reminded me of Everything is Illuminated; I can tell it's a well-written book, but it still gave me a headache and made me cranky.

Brideshead Revisited by Evelyn Waugh

This is another from my list of books that I've often heard referenced and yet never read. It was surprisingly readable and I liked it quite a bit. It reminded me a bit of both Ian McEwan's work as well as E.M. Forster, and since I love both of them I should not be surprised that I enjoyed it so much. Now I think I need to watch one of the movie versions of it.

Let the Great World Spin by Colum McCann

A friend described this book as 'hard' on her blog, and I agree. Some of the characters are prostitutes and the language is fairly gritty. At the same time, it manages to be a beautiful book about humanity, life, and connections between people. The writing is excellent and even though the plot made me want to rush a bit, it was worth the time to slow down and really enjoy the reading experience.

Movies

The Proposal

Mr. Fob and I have been so busy for the past few months that we haven't even had time to sit down and watch a movie (except for our family 'movie night' with the kids, but I don't usually write those down). We finally decided to take some time the other night and figured a light comedy would be a good one for two tired, stressed-out people. I thought this movie was quite charming and pretty decent for what it was. I laughed out loud in a number of spots and was pleasantly surprised that most of the jokes weren't dirty, even when they could have been. The added bonus was that most of the movie takes place in Alaska so the scenery was gorgeous.

Monthly Resolutions

I was reading a magazine a little while ago in the doctor's office that suggested the idea of monthly resolutions. Rather than making a few big goals at the beginning of the year, make one or two small improvements each month. In theory, you should be able to incrementally build up good habits by focusing on one thing for a time before adding something else. I've been thinking about this idea for a while, especially since the beginning of this year hasn't been a good time to do much besides nurture a baby. I have a few health-related changes I'd like to make, but it seems like the timing will be better later in the year when I am more fully recovered and when the weather is better.

I also like this idea because I feel like I have so many changes I'd like to make. For the last few years I've lived in a bit of a fog, just getting by until the next big move or other change. Now that we're more settled I want to spend more time on myself. Some of my goals that I have in mind are: writing in my journal, scripture study, temple attendance, exercise, eating more fruits and vegetables, and eating less sugar. I've been toying with the idea of getting back into scripture study or journal writing next month, but I think I'll wait until April before setting any formal goals.

Tonight I was feeling grumpy at Mr. Fob for a variety of reasons and the thought came into my head "be gentle with him", followed by the thought: "be gentle with yourself". I'm trying to remember that; life gets weird when you're surviving on interrupted sleep and when one person in the family can't do much besides sit on the couch. Things will get better soon enough, and until then I'm going to pamper us the best I can. Tonight that means baking cookies with the dough my visiting teachers dropped off: maybe in June or July I'll stop eating treats.

Letters C and D

Even though things have been kind of crazy with the move and the new baby we've still been trying to talk about a country every week. Most weeks we've just read a few books, colored the flag, and had some food that's somewhat related to the country we're talking about. So far the kids are still having fun and they really like learning new things.

Canada: I wasn't really sure what to cook for Canada, so we ended up having baked salmon with rice pilaf. The kids really liked the salmon and they liked learning about the fact that Canada is close to the United States and that they have two official languages.

China: I found a bunch of different books about China at the library and we found some coloring pages about Chinese animals as well. For our dinner I made these noodles as well as some stir-fried tofu with veggies and rice. The kids really wanted to try chopsticks, so they didn't end up eating much of their dinner because it was too hard. We also checked out a book about Mulan and then watched the Disney movie for movie night. I made some almond cookies for our treat; they're not super authentic, but they were tasty (I didn't use lard--I used half butter and half Crisco).

Colombia: We read some books and colored the flag. This week's food was one of our most popular to date. I made these beans with coconut rice and everyone loved them. We will definitely make them again!

Cuba: We also read some books, colored the flag, and listened to some music from the Buena Vista Social Club soundtrack. This week's food didn't go so well; sometimes recipes just don't turn out like we think they will. I made some mojo marinade and used it on pork chops, but they ended up being too tough because I grilled them too long. I also tried this potato recipe but didn't cook the potatoes long enough. Maybe some other time will try it again.

Dominican Republic: This ended up being our third Hispanic country in a row, but the kids didn't mind. We had rice and beans again, and they were pretty popular. I think we'll make this recipe again (I used kidney beans and didn't put any tomatoes in it). I also bought some plantains and made tostones; S-Boogie loved them and Little Dude didn't really eat very many.

Denmark: We also read some books and colored the flag, plus we talked about how some of our ancestors come from Denmark. I found a recipe in my 'international cookbook' that was similar to Swedish meatballs, with an onion cream sauce. They were very tasty meatballs, and we ate them with boiled new potatoes, rolls, steamed veggies, and berries. We also checked out a book of stories by Hans Christian Andersen and read some of them, plus we watched the Disney version of The Little Mermaid to see how it compared to the original.

2 Week Thoughts

This should be the point where I say "wow, the last two weeks have really gone by fast!" They haven't, really; the days (and nights) have been kind of long but the time does seem to have flown. I've been trying to take a Zen-like approach to life and slow down my usual anxiousness by thinking 'one day at a time', so a total of fourteen days does seem like a lot. Now I'm looking forward to the next milestone: one month.

While I'm anxious for P. Bibby to get bigger, I'm mostly anxious for my body to get better and so I can get back to 'normal' (hah!). Mr. Fob has a lot going on with work and I feel somewhat stressed about adding childcare, cooking, cleaning, and shopping on top of all that. I don't think he minds too much, but I hate feeling useless. And, weirdly enough, I miss grocery shopping. A break from that is good for my budget at least.

I did go in for my two-week check at the OB today and everything looks good so far. My incision is healing well and my body is doing what it needs to in order to get better. I just need to remind myself to take it slow and let my body work. In a year or so the next few weeks won't really seem all that long after all.

I also took P. Bibby in for her two-week check today and she passed with flying colors. She is up almost half a pound from her birth weight, and since she lost weight in the hospital it really means she's gained more than that. Everything else about her is just fine also. She was nice and mellow for the entire checkup except the part where they poked her foot to draw blood. Even then, she calmed down right away as soon as they put a band-aid on it and put her clothes back on. I keep crossing my fingers that her mellowness will last.

So far I'm feeling decent both mentally and physically. Breastfeeding is still going well and sleeping is generally all right since I've just been putting her in the bed with me. I figure in a few weeks we'll work on sleeping by herself. She also takes a lot of naps in her swing during the day. My main problem right now is Little Dude; he loves his baby sister a lot, but he's also incredibly bored all day. That's not a new problem, it's been going on for months now. He refuses to go do anything that involves entertaining himself. He used to play quite well with his toys on his own, but now I can rarely get him to stop clinging to my leg all day. I was already struggling with this before the baby and now it's worse because I'm even more busy. I do try and take time to read or color with him sometimes, but I can't play with him all day and he's having a hard time learning that.

One last thought: people are awesome. My parents stayed with us for a week and helped take care of the big kids. I know they were exhausted by the time they left, but it was a big help and I think it made an easier transition for the kids to have fun with Grandma and Grandpa for a week. Our ward has also been great--even though we only moved in last month people have been so generous and friendly. They also assigned me visiting teachers right away and this week people have been bringing us dinners. We've had lots of friends and family stop by with little gifts and treats and we've received several fun things in the mail too. It's amazing to me how many good friends we have.

Nursing Advice

This post has a specific purpose, which is to ask advice from my readers who have successfully (or unsuccessfully) nursed babies in the past. If you haven't, you're still welcome to read, but consider yourself warned.

I nursed S-Boogie for an entire year before she weaned. I generally felt that things went well, although she did not gain a lot of weight very quickly. With Little Dude we got to about four months or so before I realized that his extreme fussiness was probably related to hunger and we switched to a bottle because I couldn't get the supply back up. There were a lot of things going on in my life at the time, including a major move and his emergency delivery, so I'm not surprised that my body flaked out on me. Since then, however, I've been doing a little research on hypoplastic breasts, which are basically those that don't have enough milk-producing tissue. A big sign of that is the fact that they don't change size during pregnancy (mine don't), but generally they don't produce any milk at all. Mine do, even if sometimes it's not very much. Now that I think about it, though, with the other kids I was probably just too eager to get them on a routine. We used a pacifier for both of them and I was pretty strict about feeding them only every two or three hours and then putting them down in bed with the pacifier to suck on. This time I've decided to do things differently, and now ten days later I'm realizing the pros and cons.

We aren't big on the pacifier and have been trying not to use it very much. I've also been nursing 'on demand' for real this time and trying to feed the baby whenever she's hungry, even if it's only been an hour or so since the last feeding. This seems to be working out well in a lot of ways. My milk came in pretty quickly and I think I'm making more than I have in the past. I've had some soreness, but things seem to be evening out generally. I also feel like she's generally happier and more content at this point as well.

However, every night I start having panic attacks about continuing nursing. I think part of the problem is that her schedule is mixed up, so we need to work on adjusting that as well as regulating the feedings. During the mornings and early afternoons things go well; she nurses well and I feel like I have a lot of milk for her. She usually eats every two or three hours and then sleeps. But starting about eight or nine each night she gets really fussy. I'll feed her on each side, change her diaper, get her ready to sleep, and she'll act like she's starving to death. Even if I feed her again she'll start up fussing again. We end up spending hours with me nursing her, listening to her fuss, and nursing her some more. It's very frustrating. Last night I finally decided to make her a bottle at about three AM and she drank a bit before calming down a bit. After a while I start to feel like I need a break just to get the supply up (doing some more research I found a few sites that mentioned that smaller breasts may make the same amount of milk, but their storage capacity is not the same--that makes sense to me).

So, I guess my questions for anyone who has advice are:

How do you gently reset a newborn's schedule so they are sleepier at night and more awake in the day?

What does 'on demand' feeding mean to you and how do you tell when your baby is really done and satisfied?

Any tips on helping a baby learn how to sleep in their own bed? I don't want to debate cosleeping; for a variety of reasons we've decided it's not for us. But she's the first kid we've had that hates being swaddled and placed in the bassinet after eating.

Hopefully some of my readers have some experience with this and can help me out. Thanks.

Birth Story

The thing about a planned c-section is that it makes for a pretty boring birth story. Not much action and suspense, although since we had that last time with Little Dude's birth I'm pretty happy that this time around was a bit more boring. This baby still needs a blog name--Mr. Fob thinks she should be P Bibby, but I don't really like that so I'll have to think of something better. I just thought I'd write down a bit about how things went so we'll remember them in the future.

Last Wednesday morning we had to be at the hospital by six o'clock; thankfully Mr. Fob's sister was nice enough to get up early and stay with our kids during the morning. My surgery was the second on the schedule so we didn't get into the operating room until after eight. The nurse who worked with me that day was really great and we spent the prep time chatting. By the time I went in for surgery both Mr. Fob and I felt relaxed and excited. Everything went well; it's not a pleasant experience, but my doctor is nice and fast and I was back in my room relatively quickly. They brought the baby into us for a while before giving her a bath and I was able to try nursing her only about an hour or so after she was born. We had been thinking she'd be pretty big but instead she was about average size: seven-and-a-half pounds and twenty inches long. My sister-in-law brought over Little Dude and he was very excited to meet his sister. The rest of the day was spent just hanging out; Mr. Fob's other sister took over with the kids in the afternoon and brought S-Boogie by after she was done with school. That night my dad got into town so he spent some time hanging out in the hospital as well.

Wednesday night was probably my worst night. I was still hooked up to the IV and catheter and couldn't get out of bed or move very well, plus I felt woozy and in more pain than earlier in the day. The baby got really cranky, and even though they tried taking her to the nursery she kept coming back in to try and nurse. Thursday morning I felt very tired, plus the baby was still feeling sad as well. At least I got disconnected from everything so I could get out of bed and they started feeding me regular food as well. The lactation consultant stopped by and helped me figure out better positioning for nursing; even though I've nursed two babies before, she was really helpful and I figured out some things I hadn't done well in the past. Thursday night we all slept better.

Friday was a pretty good day. Mr. Fob had to work in the morning so my dad just hung around with me at the hospital. It was a calm, low-key morning, and my milk started coming in so the baby was much happier. I also got to take a shower after lunch, and then the kids came over so we could watch a movie as a family. That night I actually ended up pumping because I was making so much milk, and so we really got good sleep because they were able to give the baby a bottle in the night. Saturday was the day we got to go home and the only hard thing about it was waiting around for the doctor to come by and sign the paperwork. Mr. Fob and I watched some TV shows online and just hung out waiting. I was very ready to go home at that point because the hospital bed was irritating my lower back and I could barely stand to sit in it anymore. My stomach was also not feeling good either; although I tried to eat well and avoid digestive issues, sitting in bed for a few days and taking lots of Percocet is not good for your body. I've been able to feel better since coming home and eating better food (and milk of magnesia is my new best friend).

Now it's been a week since we had the baby and I'm happy to be at home and generally feeling good. My parents will be here all week and they have been a big help with managing the other kids. I've also been feeling cautiously optimistic about breastfeeding this time around because I seem to be producing much more than I did in the past and this baby is a big eater. It's not all sunshine and roses--I've had a few crying breakdowns and some major crankiness from lack of sleep, but I can say that mentally and physically I feel so much better than I did with Little Dude. I keep telling Mr. Fob how amazed I am that I don't feel stressed out; hopefully things stay this way during the next few weeks.

Ready, Set, Go!

I've been counting down until February 4th for quite some time now, so when the doctor's office called yesterday to reschedule I'll admit that I wasn't quite happy. Even though we're having the baby a day earlier than we thought I've still been stressed because it's a change of plans. Yes, people, I am that neurotic. But, like it or not, the baby has to come out and the time has come. Today I alternated between being excited and having wierd panic attacks about having a baby. I kept having to remind myself that this is scheduled, it's happening on time, I'm not bleeding to death, I'm not in the middle of graduate school, people are available to help with the kids, and so on. I though I was over the stress of the last time around, but I guess not. And I always stress when I have to leave my kids and house in the care of others, no matter what the reason. Hopefully tomorrow will just go smoothly and holding our sweet new baby will make up for everything.

Preparing for the Apocalypse

The 'nesting instinct' is a common trope of pregnancy; there's something about a new baby that triggers women to want to clean, purge, organize, and otherwise get everything 'perfect' for their new arrival. I have been feeling that a bit of late, though moving last month certainly helped to quash most of my desires to do any heavy cleaning or organizing. I'm not much of a decorator and we don't have a designated nursery so I haven't done much of that kind of nesting either.

For some reason this time around my nesting instincts have gone in an entirely different direction: food storage. This doesn't surprise me that much. I've always found it easier to blow money on food (boxes of cereal are easier to justify than new clothes or furniture), and we just moved into a new house with a lot more storage room. Several local grocery stores had their case-lot sales last month and so I indulged a bit. I do think food storage is important and right now I'm trying to work out a good plan for building up both our short-term storage as well as getting some long-term stuff (we really don't have any). I just need to keep reminding myself that I don't have to buy everything this week.

Last night I was balancing my budget for January and was embarrassed by how much over my usual food allowance I went. I keep hearing about a 'eat from your pantry' challenge in which you keep shopping to a minimum for a month and work on eating what you have. I think I'm going to try it in February, although I almost feel like I'm cheating since I physically won't want to go to the store. Now I just have to get this baby out of here so my hormones will relax and I can stop obsessing about squirreling away as much food as possible.