Spring Thaw, Part 2

I hate leaving a negative post up there with no resolution, but I've been busy during the past week. Things are feeling better; often just writing down feelings and getting them out of my head helps a lot. I'm still not sure if I should put them on the internet or not, but I guess I already made that decision and I'm sticking with it. This week has also started to feel like spring for real, and that is helping my mindset too. I know it seems weird, but the lack of normal winter weather the past few months has really stressed me out. The fact that so much of my life is out of whack did not make the fact that natural order of the universe has apparently been disturbed any easier to bear. Now that it is early March, I'm happy to see the sun and to feel warmer air on my skin finally. Yes, it might snow tomorrow, but the light and the air feel like spring so I'm a lot happier.

I also made some decisions, because making decisions makes me feel happier and in control. Last Friday night I tried going to the regional singles dance. I stayed for about 10 minutes; as far as I could tell, everyone in the room was at least ten years older than me. People were dancing and having a great time, but I just felt like I wouldn't fit in and that it was not the place for me. Maybe in another decade I can join that group but not right now. I also decided to pay off my student loan. I only had one loan and the balance was low, so it seemed like a good idea to pay it off. I was able to do that and still have some savings for emergencies and I feel better now about my financial situation. I also made plans to go visit my sister in Oregon for my birthday. I figure that I'd rather treat myself and make plans so I don't end up sitting around feeling sorry for myself because my birthday isn't like other ones in the past.

So, I'm moving forward and getting more sleep and trying not to eat too many cookies. I think that's the best I can do right now. Oh, and I'm going to go buy myself a new bike. My old bike is old and broken and I've hated it for years. Now I'm going to do something about it instead of sitting around complaining. I think that's a good way to live my life .

Comments

Recession Cone said…
Especially love the last two sentences. I'm trying to adopt that mindset as well. All the best!
M said…
I love when a season comes (metaphorically and literally) when you can move forward!

I'm feeling some similar stirrings this spring...after a winter of some semi-rough issues and worse-than-normal depression, the warm weather and accompanying ability to run regularly are working wonders on me.

For what it's worth, I like reading your posts (even when I don't comment on them). Your honesty is refreshing and your strength is reassuring to me.

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