Yellow Wallpaper

This year I did not cook or eat any Thanksgiving food, and I find that I mostly haven't missed any of it. Well, except for pie. Many of my friends are posting about pie on social media and I would like to eat some. Other than that, I'm not a big fan of most Thanksgiving foods that I would only eat on the holiday (turkey, stuffing), or I eat those foods at other times already (rolls, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes and gravy). This year the kids were with Mr. Fob, so my parents and I decided to eat out at a fancy restaurant. They had a Thanksgiving special with turkey, but I chose a pork chop with blackberry coulis and sweet potato puree. It was delicious. So was the chocolate creme brulee I had for dessert.  The kids came back Thursday night, so we hung out and watched a movie. Friday we met up with my brother at the Natural History Museum and spent the afternoon together, then went out for Indian food. On the way home, I convinced my parents to stop off at Ikea so they could...

Seventeen years ago today, I got married. Some years I don't think about the date very much. This year it's also a Tuesday, which was the same day of the week our wedding was on. Even more weirdly, the weather pattern is the same--warm and sunny today, with snow predicted for Thursday. I've been thinking a lot about the wedding today. However, I haven't really been sad or angry. It just feels so far away and so long ago. I'm a very different person now, I have a different life, and the world is a different place.  When I got home from work, I found a thank-you note from S-Boogie for me. I'll be honest and say that raising older kids is hard. Of course, being a teenager is hard too. I didn't realize how much I needed to hear some good feedback from my kids until I got it. They really are good kids and are mostly doing all right. I'm also grateful that Mr. Fob is still a good, involved dad and a reasonable co-parent. In fact, I often hate it when people ...

Last Sunday a member of the bishopric stopped by to ask me to give a talk today. I haven't given a talk for a few years, so I agreed, even though I only had a week to prepare. I also know I was going to be speaking last and wanted to prepare enough length to cover the time if needed. It ended up being a very busy week, and although I had the talk in the back of my mind, I never got a chance to sit down and write anything out until last night. I planned to wake up early this morning in order to review it and make any adjustments I needed. I did wake up early, but unfortunately it was to the sound of S-Boogie throwing up in the bathroom. After helping clean things up, I got ready and headed to church with P.Bibby. Little Dude was being slow, so we left him to walk since I was anxious to get there early. A few minutes after we arrived, I got a text that Little Dude had gotten sick as well. It was not an auspicious start to the morning. I decided to stick around since the older two...

1. Chocolate shredded wheat 2. Heated seats in my car 3. Watching movies with the kids 4. Costco 5. Connecting with friends and family on social media 6. My credit card company reversing a late fee after realizing their error 7. Natalie Merchant 8. Snowy mountains with a backdrop of blue skies 9. Corduroy pants 10. Reading the Book of Mormon quickly

Less by Andrew Sean Greer This book took a while to get going and I was skeptical of why it had received so many different honors. About halfway through, it picked up momentum and I got to the point where I couldn't put it down. This isn't a long, epic novel, but it was a lot fun to read, especially as it got going and pieces started coming together in the end.  American Fire: Love, Arson, and Life in a Vanishing Land by Monica Hesse This book was a fascinating look at an unusual crime spree and a part of the country that most people aren't familiar with. I also liked the pacing of the mystery, and how it was interspersed with background about the people and place involved. However, I ended up feeling just a bit disappointed in the end, because a motive for the attacks has never been revealed. I guess this a reflection of real life, but still makes the book fall a bit flat in the end. Transcription by Kate Atkinson I absolutely loved Atkinson's other WWII n...

Tonight I made some lentil soup for dinner, but I changed the recipe up a bit to give it more of an Indian curry vibe. I kept in the cumin, but instead of chili powder I added some curry powder, ginger, and a bit of smoked paprika. I also used about a cup of coconut milk and the juice of an entire lemon. The kids all rated it a 9/10 and would eat it again.  I've been thinking about going back to being more vegetarian in what we are eating, but the truth is that we actually don't eat meat very often as it is. I particularly find myself craving beef on a regular basis, especially in the winter. It probably would, however, be good to give up ham and sausage. Those are two of my favorite meats, despite knowing how bad they are for me. I'm not sure I'm quite ready to do that yet, but I do think we need to start eating more veggies and beans (I need to remind myself that vegetarian food isn't just cheese pizza.

1. I wanted to try NaBloPoMo again to see if I jump start my writing and creativity again. I've spent the last few years feeling increasingly uninspired and spending more time reading things on the internet rather than producing them. I have no idea if anyone is still reading this--I'm one of the few people I know who still uses a feed reader and actively reads blogs--and I think most of what I've posted so far has been drivel, but I'm going to keep trying. 2. Today was another busy day, all day long. Five or ten years ago I thought things would be easier when the kids were bigger. They are easier in some ways, since they can all feed and dress themselves. However, expectations are higher, problems are bigger, and they definitely all have personalities and priorities of their own. Plus we are just busier with more activities and homework and other things. The three kids are at three different schools (elementary, middle, and high school) for the next three years, and ...

Things I didn't do today: Rake the leaves off the lawn Wash the windows Repaint a wall in the basement  Fix the compost bin Go to a movie or a concert or a lecture Clean out the closets Work on writing Go to the temple Things I did do today: Got a massage Went grocery shopping Made and canned applesauce (8 pints) Did laundry Cleaned three bathrooms Dropped off the vacuum for a tune-up Sometimes I focus too much on the things I think I 'should' do, or make unrealistic expectations for my weekends. Sometimes it's better to take a good look at what I've actually accomplished instead.

I'm embarrassed to admit this, but my siblings and I used to make fun of the gun warning signs that hung in our school. There were bright yellow signs in every classroom with the phone number of a hotline for reporting weapons at school. They said "See a gun? Save a life! Say something!", and for some reason we thought the Spanish translation was hilarious. We'd randomly turn to each other and blurt "¿Has visto una pistola? ¡Salva una vida!" This was, of course, before Columbine and before so many other mass shootings, many of them in schools. True, there had been some other random crimes, like the shooting at a McDonalds in San Ysidro when I was little, but for some reason we felt safe at school. This is ironic, because the reason why there were yellow signs in every classroom was the gang violence that plagued our school and community. Our campus was a closed campus, we had a police officer assigned to school, and there were random metal detector checks...

I did this post ten years ago , and thought it would be fun to do again I am wearing khaki pants, a cream-colored shirt with navy stripes, and a red cardigan. I am reading The Secret History by Donna Tartt and Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates. Also trying to read the whole Book of Mormon before the end of the year. I am hearing the hum of the dishwasher and the washing machine. Learning all the time that I should be more thoughtful in my actions and not so quick to judge others. I am thankful for the great community that I live in. I am hoping that Little Dude gets better for tomorrow, and that if it's a stomach virus, the rest of us can avoid getting it. From the kitchen tonight came a crustless spinach quiche. It was really delicious. S-Boogie is on a limited chewing diet for a few weeks so we've been creative with healthy soft foods. Bringing beauty to my home by recently buying some new chairs for the living room. It's my first exper...

Tonight I re-read a cover letter I wrote four years ago when I applied for a different position at the library where I work. At the time, I had only been in my current job for about eighteen months, but had been wanting to work in another department and move up the ladder a bit. I still feel that way, and was re-reading the letter while writing a new one for a different position that has opened up. As I was reading the letter, I realized how much I've changed and how much I have learned since that time. I was upset not to get hired in the different position and thought I was qualified, and I'm not completely convinced I wasn't, but it was amazing to me to see how much more I know now. It was a good reminder to me of why it is important to stay humble and to remember that there are always opportunities to grow and change.

Today at work I had the 'what did you do this weekend?' conversation with two different people, and none of us could remember anything that had happened. Apparently the first weekend in November is not exciting for anyone. I didn't have the kids on Friday night because Saturday was Mr. Fob's birthday and he wanted to celebrate with them. I got home late because I stopped for groceries after work, and then I just watched a few episodes of a TV show on Netflix. I've been really binging on crime shows this year; I have a lot of movies I'd love to watch, but keep coming back to television instead. Saturday morning P.Bibby had a rehearsal for a play she is in at school later this week. They had asked parents to come help make things for the set, so Little Dude and I stayed for a few hours to construct paper palm trees and paint cardboard grass. We all came home and had lunch, and I prodded people into doing a few chores like putting away laundry. Then we went over ...

Although I mostly love social media, one of the few things that gets me down is when single friends of mine start dating. It's so stupid and one of the things I dislike about myself, but I always feel bad when people I know manage to find a special someone. Especially if they have gotten divorced since I have--it's been seven years for me and I still feel like I'm waiting for something to happen. So many other people make it seem so easy! I feel bad even typing this, because I'm sure one of my friends is going to read it and feel bad, and that is not what I want to have happen. They aren't doing anything wrong at all, and I'm mostly happy for them. I'm just a little sad for me. I wrote a post about this several years ago over at Segullah , which touches on the mixed feelings I have about being single and alone. I had a hard time dating in high school and college too, although when I was 21 it was a lot easier to be optimistic about my chances because I had...

I got in a car accident on January 2nd. It was the last day of my break before going back to work and I wanted to start it out by going to the temple. Right after turning left off one big street onto another smaller one, I saw a car start to turn left out of a parking lot off to my right. As I was thinking "I'm going to hit them", while applying my brakes, I ran right into their car just behind the driver's side. For some reason my air bag didn't go off (I was driving fairly slowly at that point), and my face whacked right into the steering wheel. My glasses went flying off over into the passenger side of the car, after gouging a chunk out of my nose. For a minute I just sat there, shaking, while my nose was bleeding all over my new coat that I'd just bought. I'd never been in a car accident before and was unable to think of what to do next. I will forever be grateful to the man who came running over to my car, helped me shut it off and climb out the passe...