Yellow Wallpaper

It is the last day of National Poetry Month, and I'm sad that I've been too busy reading and studying poetry to post any. But other people have a done a great job of that and so I feel happy to delegate that responsibility to others. Today, however, is " Poem in Your Pocket Day ", and since I don't plan on going anywhere I thought the best way to share a poem with those I care about is through the Internet. Here's a poem by John Donne that I've been mulling over in my brain a lot for the past few weeks. It really speaks to me at this time of great confusion and fearfulness: A new philosophy calls all in doubt, The element of fire is quite put out, The sun is lost, and the earth, and no man's wit Can well direct him where to look for it. And freely men confess that this world's spent, When in the planets and the firmament They seek so many new; they see that this Is crumbled out again to his atomies. 'Tis all in pieces, all coherence gone; All j...

On Saturday we had another wonderful family day. We drove out the organic farm that delivers our weekly produce bin and took a tour. The sun was shining and the hills were turning from the green of spring to the brown of summer. We hiked all over the farm and got smell citrus blossoms (the most heavenly scent in the world), see tadpoles in a pond, and even pick our own fresh strawberries--which we got to take home for free! After a picnic lunch in the shade we headed home, but had to stop at Target on the way for a few things. While we were there we impulsively bought an ice cream maker and supplies, then came home and made a gallon of homemade strawberry ice cream with our fresh, organic strawberries. We were tired and a little sunburnt by the end of the day, but it was so much fun that it was totally worth it. On Saturday we had another outing as a family, this time to an organic farm. It ended up being a hotter day than I had expected and the sun really beat down us. The tour was al...

Yesterday afternoon I was rushing around trying to collect our things before we left for a trip to the library and Little Dude's dance class. Suddenly I felt an incredibly sharp pain in my foot and looked down to see that I'd stepped on a nail. On my floor. I think it came out of our couch, because our couch is old and falling apart, plus Mr. Fob just rearranged the slip covers and cushions on Thursday night. I hobbled over to the closet to get a band-aid, stuck it on my bleeding foot, and left to run our errands. After I got back from that I started to wonder if I should worry more about my health, and a quick check of my records showed that I had last received a tetanus shot ten years ago before leaving on my mission. So I drove down to the student health center and got myself a booster shot. Today my foot feels better but my arm really hurts. I was worried that the health center would delay me too long and I would miss our date last night, but thankfully we still made it. Ev...

1. We don't usually get Diego videos from the library because the show really bugs me. Sometimes when he's putting all this energy into helping tree frogs I just want to sit him down and say "Diego, sometimes animals get hurt or sick and die. Then their bodies become food for other animals and possibly for plants. That's just what happens. Some baby animals are too little or weak to survive. It's just the circle of life; maybe you need to find a new hobby besides saving animals." I think this is part of why Finding Nemo bugs me: they have so much angst for being such little fish. Fish generally have short sad little lives, OK? 2. For some reason I have this thing about leaving the last few bites of my food on my plate. Especially sandwiches; it's like psychologically it's too much to finish it and so I feel better if I don't eat the last little bit. But then I hide it in the trash can in case anyone finds out I was wasting food. 3. I've been sp...

Sorry this is so late; it's been a busy month. There are a few books for class and a few for fun. I may not blog about books again until June since I'm not taking any classes that require novels or films. Passing by Nella Larson For some reason it's always surprising to me when 'old' literature that seems so removed from my own experience (I'm not a middle-class black woman in 1920s New York) speaks so clearly to my own life. This is a short novel and yet very powerful. I found her insights about marriage and the relationship between men and women even more forceful than her commentary on race relations, but that could just be where I'm at in my life right now. But it also shows how race, class, and gender are even more closely tied than we imagine. Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison I've read parts of this book before, but never the whole thing, and I was surprised by how readable it was. And (again) by how timely it still is. It's a difficult read fo...

I have a few things I've been wanting to write posts about, but I haven't been able to get around to writing posts. So it's time to clear out the brain space and get it out there. First of all, we've come to a decision about our life plan. Mr. Fob explains it in much more detail here , but the short version is that we've decided to move back to Utah this summer. A few weeks ago we confessed to each other that we've been harboring secret desires to live in that state, and we both feel pretty happy about this plan. We're looking forward to getting back close to family and I'm already praying that Mr. Fob can find a good job soon. I'm also considering applying to teach part-time this fall, but that might depend a bit on what else I've got going on my life. I can't believe that by the time we get there in June it will have been a year since we've seen most of you. Time is flying too fast. Second, I actually feel relieved at the thought of mov...

I have loved this picture since I first saw it in my freshman art history class. It comes from the Isenheim Altarpiece by Matthias Grunewald, which was painted for a monastery and hospital. The painting of the crucifixion shows Christ as weak and sick, covered in horrible sores. Then, he rises whole and clean and powerful from the tomb. I love the colors of this painting and I love the composition, with the soldiers on the ground and the large yellow aura surrounding Christ. It also reminds me of one of my favorite hymns by Parley P. Pratt, which is a study in contrasts as well: Jesus, once of humble birth, Now in glory comes to earth. Once he suffered grief and pain; Now he comes on earth to reign. Now he comes on earth to reign. Once a meek and lowly lamb, Now the Lord, the great I Am. Once upon the cross he bowed, Now the chariot is his cloud. Now the chariot is his cloud. Once he groaned in blood and tears; Now in glory He appears. Once rejected by his own, Now their King he shall...

I've always loved art, although I'm a very unartistic person. Lately I've been thinking about art and why we have it. Why do people feel a desire to create art? Write poems? Write stories? Sing? Dance? Sculpt? Build buildings? Why is every piece so different and why do we all have such different tastes? I don't really know the answers to these questions, and I think that the answers are myriad. Perhaps we want to teach a lesson, express our feelings, or just explore the aesthetic properties of color, shape, sound, or texture. Each of us experiences the world in a different way and I think that all forms of art are an attempt to put a piece of ourselves out into the universe in the best way we know how. Today I spent a lot of time looking through the slide show of the most recent LDS Church International Art Competition . I find it fascinating to see how so many different people interpret the gospel and share their testimonies through different types of art. I also know ...

Last week was the first week of classes and I did a great job showing up and getting back into a scholarly frame of mind. But then conference weekend hit, and S-Boogie's spring break, and my routine has been all out of whack. Plus my parents came to town on Saturday evening and left today, so I've just been throwing responsibility out the window and skipping class like a crazy freshman. My mom and dad flew in on Saturday evening; we stopped by Ikea on the way to the airport because the kids were so excited to see them and I knew waiting around our house would be torture. Thankfully Mr. Fob and I made it out of the store without spending too much money, and we all got a yummy dinner that I didn't have to cook. My parents called to inform us of their arrival right after we had left the store and were on our way to the airport to get them, so our timing was excellent. Sunday we watched conference and feasted. First we had a yummy brunch of crepes with a variety of fillings, an...

I kind of liked that song better when it was " genealogy , I am doing it"... The other day my mom sent me a link to an article about my great-uncle Kermit. He was my maternal grandmother's little brother, and died tragically after his pressure suit malfunctioned while he was on a training mission at Edwards Air Force Base. The article talks about how he had spent years focusing on his desire to be a pilot, and possibly astronaut. While I was reading the article S-Boogie came in and asked me what I was doing. I showed her the picture of him (it's in the PDF version of the article if you're interested) and talked about he was her ancestor and wanted to be astronaut just like she does. Of course she asked what happened to him, and I told her about the plane crash and that becoming an astronaut can sometimes be dangerous. She thought about it for a moment and then asked "what do you call those people who study the planets with telescopes on the ground?" I ...