In my blood


Last night I dreamed about the ocean. It was a fairly disjointed dream, but from what I remember I was exploring an old house and kept happening upon random family pictures from my childhood. Every time I picked up a picture, I would end up on the beach during a raging winter storm. I was just past the edge of the water and I could feel the mist from the breakers on my face. It was exhilarating.

I grew up in California, right on the coast. We lived there until I was 17 (more or less--there were a few years in Idaho that we would all rather forget). I haven't lived by the ocean for ten years now, but I still miss it so terribly I want to cry sometimes. I've tried to love the mountains, I really have. But they just don't do much for me. It's not the same. I can't even explain the feelings that I have about the beach. I don't care much for swimming in the ocean, but a nice walk on a blustery winter day does wonders for my soul.

I fear that I will not end up living near the ocean and that I will always feel like something is missing. That's part of why I keep rooting for us to move to Hawaii--it's not quite the same as the beaches in California , but the ocean is still ever present. I need that.

Comments

COOLGUY said…
I miss the ocean too - I love being by the water and hearing the waves. I've had very similar dreams over the years, I always feel so sad for awhile after I wake up.
When are you going to start your blog, Cool Guy?
Anonymous said…
I take it from your blog that you can understand why I am still living here, instead of on the mainland. Keep rooting for Hawaii. I'll root with you!
Tolkien Boy said…
So, what do we landlubbers dream about?

Pot roast.
JB said…
I love the ocean too. I love to play in the water the most, but there is something wonderful about just walking on the beach and hearing the waves.

What a pleasant dream. I hope you get to live near the ocean again soon.
Anonymous said…
The trick is: when you are living near the ocean, don't ever waste it. Go see it everyday, just because you can. I did. Someday, I'll be there again...But mountains do the same thing to me. I can never look away. I must stare at them, no matter how many times I've seen the same view.
Kari said…
I'm with you, sistah! Ocean lovers unite! I don't know why I had to make it sound like a protest yell, but maybe the fact that it's 2 am might be a clue. I feel the same. Luckily, the little island I'm moving to is surrounded by it, so I'll be okay. Must I always bring up the fact that I'm moving to England? Aren't we tired of it yet??

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