Yellow Wallpaper

Since editorgirl recently posted about guilt, I thought I would as well. Tomorrow is the last day of the month and I haven't done my visiting teaching. I just got a new companion, and in general I am grateful for it, especially after some of the experiences we had together. However, the transition has been difficult because she was a very motivated person and always got things set up or reminded me to set them up each month. I really do enjoy visiting teaching and I like the people we visit, but I also have a serious problem with phone anxiety . So, a few weeks ago my new companion called me up to let me know when she was available and all that jazz. I told her I would make the phone calls, since I already know the women we visit. Well, I never did make the phone calls or I would forget about them until late at night. So I just felt dumber and dumber until nothing happened. And I've never called my companion back to tell her what was going on. So now she thinks I'm a fla...

Today in sacrament meeting one of the speakers was talking about the law of chastity. He repeatedly (and loudly) reminded us that the Lord's definition of chastity is that we are to have "no sexual relations with anyone other than our spouse". I wonder how many kids went home and asked their parents what "sexual relations" are.

I stopped by Target this afternoon to pick up a few things. I started out shopping in my usual penny-pinching manner, picking up some Suave conditioner and some generic brand face scrub, even though I really do prefer the name brands. I was really trying not to spend very much money on my groceries, and then I ran into the frozen foods section. DiGiorno pizzas were on sale. They looked really, really good. We haven't had pizza for a while. I told myself that $4.50 was kind of a lot for one pizza, and I could just go home and mix up some dough, and grate some cheese, and then I'd just have to buy some olives and a green pepper.... And then I grabbed the pizza and threw it in my cart. So tonight we are having pizza for dinner. Over-priced, frozen pizza full of fat and additives and preservatives. And I have decided not to care or feel guilty about it.

I'm sorry--I swear I'll find a new topic for my next post. This morning S-Boogie's diaper was full of unpopped popcorn kernels. That scared me. Those are the kind of thing that toddlers should not be allowed to eat because they can choke on them and die. A few nights ago I went to bed and thoughtlessly left an almost empty bag of microwave popcorn on the counter. S-Boogie's gotten into the habit of waking up early and roaming the house, using her handy potty/stepstool to get into things she shouldn't. (A few weeks ago I found a giant handprint in the middle of a chocolate cake I'd left out to cool. She told us "I find chocolate".) I've been trying to remember to put everything in the kitchen away before I go to bed, but sometimes I don't. We've talked about locking her into her room somehow, but we both feel bad about doing that. The house is generally childproof, but I keep finding out new things that she can do. Even though I want to leav...

I have gained 4 pounds in the last 4 weeks. This is a good thing. My blood pressure is also fine and baby has a nice strong heartbeat. And we scheduled an ultrasound for next Wednesday afternoon so we can stop calling the baby "it" (hopefully). And the doctor gave me a different vitamin that includes a stool softener. I have spent the last 20 weeks in mortal fear of going to the bathroom, so I'm hoping this makes my life easier.

I'm discovering more and more that living with a 2-year-old is like living in an entirely different world. Our rules just don't apply anymore. First of all, it takes much, much longer to do anything. Eating a bowl of cereal can take up to half an hour, and getting dressed involves a lot of negotiation. Walking across the street to the library is a big deal, and once we are inside everything must be examined and explored in minute detail. It can be a little maddening to know that something which can be accomplished in 2 seconds is taking 5 minutes. There is also no logic in this world. Cause and effect have not been established, and "why?" is a futile question. There is no reason why we can't wear the purple pants, why all the salt must be dumped out into a pile onto the table, or why waking up time has been moved back to 6:30. There is no reason. It just happens. And never start an argument with a two-year-old. It will go something like this: Mom: Please stop hitt...

Actually, this post isn't a comprehensive review of Mormon film in the same way the last one reviewed Mormon fiction. I think the genre is still a little too new to pass judgement on. I've seen some movies that I thought were really good ( Brigham City ), some that were absolutely terrible ( Singles Ward ), and some that were somewhere in between ( God's Army , Charly ). I haven't really formed an opinion yet. But, over the weekend we finally got around to seeing Saints and Soldiers . We've checked out from the library a few times, but never got around to watching it. I saw it on display Friday and grabbed it, and I am very glad that I did. I really, really, liked this movie. A lot. I'm sure part of it is the fact that I wasn't expecting a lot, plus I'm a big sucker for WWII stuff. It's one of my favorite historical time periods (basically anything after 1920 or so I'm really into, like WWII and Vietnam--that also explains why I like Children of...

Recently, several other bloggers have sparked a discussion about Mormon literature (ie, books written by, for, or about Mormons) and whether it's "good" or "bad". Many people who have weighed in on the discussion have admitted to being literary snobs who have a very negative view of this genre. The truth is, I am a literary snob and have been for a long time. But, I'm getting to be less of one and thought I'd add some of my thoughts to the conversation. I think my journey out of snobishness actually began shortly after Master Fob and I got married. I convinced him to take a Young Adult literature class with me, and we luckily (or predestinately) got a class with Chris Crowe. I still don't really remember why I decided to take YA lit. During my teenage years, I read some YA lit, but mostly historical fiction. I shunned most things that were more contemporary, anything "boyish", and anything fantasy. But, this class really opened my eyes and ...

S-Boogie and I did not get off to a good start this morning. She was hyper and I was cranky. Then, within one hour, she managed to do things like pulling all the bedding off our bed, stripping herself from the waist down and hiding her pants, and pulling the sliding closet doors off their tracks. Then I caught her in the bathroom playing with the laundry detergent. Aargh! Then this afternoon I went to school and stayed after class to do my homework. Upon opening my binder, I realized that my reading assignment for tomorrow was much longer than I had been planning on and took me a horrendously long time to read. Plus half of it was in Early Modern Spanish with a tiny font. Blah. Finally, tonight, I left S-Boogie happily playing in the tub while I watched from the other room as I folded laundry. When I went back in to help her clean up the bath toys, she informed me that she had "made poopie". And she had. All over the tub. Ick. I just spent 2 hours watching stupid crime dramas...

I just sent a letter to the editor to the Daily Universe; I have a bad history of trying to get stuff printed by them. They never want to publish my letters, so I'm not banking on this one getting in there at all. But, I just wanted to get my opinion out, so I might as well put it here. If you want to read the editorial I'm responding to, it's here . Friday's editorial praising Larry Miller's decision to pull the movie Brokeback Mountain from his theater certainly made a good point: it is always commendable when people stand up for what they believe in. However, what bothers me most about all the hoopla surrounding this decision is the fact that it simply reflects the hodgepodge morality that too many of us (myself included) practice. Why suddenly decide that this particular film was so reprehensible that it must not only be pulled from the theater, but that the decision to pull it be made into a public spectacle? What about all the other immoral movies currently s...

I just finished compiling totals for our spending last year. We keep track of our budget in a spreadsheet in Excel, so it wasn't too hard to see what we've spent on various things over the course of the year. It was a very enlightening exercise. For instance, I tend to think (and say) that we don't eat out very much. We probably don't, especially compared to a lot of other people. But we still managed to spend an average of nearly $60 a month on eating out during 2005. Now, that average is a little skewed by the fact that we went on several vacations, when we tend to eat out a little more often. But still, all those quick lunches at Burgers Supreme really do add up. Our monthly average for eating out expenses is more than our average for books and movies. I think we should reverse that. Literature is so much more healthy than french fries. The other disturbing thing was discovering that if we add up our insurance premiums as well as our out-of-pocket stuff, we spent so...

I started school again this week, and I remembered how much I really do enjoy being a student. This would probably be a fun semester if I didn't have to write a thesis or take my stupid specialty exams that are coming up in just a few short weeks. I am currently only taking two classes; in theory, this gives me extra time to work on my thesis , but so far I haven't done much about that. At least it's barely a week into the semester so there is still plenty of time to repent. My Tuesday/Thursday class is focused on "Early Modern Women Writers". We are looking at women who wrote during the 16th and 17th centuries, both in Spain and throughout the rest of Europe. It's a lot of fun. I love the professor, and several of my favorite grad school friends are taking it with me (Today after class she did ask us to not sit by each other next time. Wah.) The Spanish department puts grad students and undergraduates together in one class for their literature ones, so this ...

Today I decided to break down and wear one of the "nicer" shirts in my maternity wardrobe, since those are pretty much my only options. The thing is, I don't usually like to wear fussy clothes, like woven button-up shirts that require ironing or shirts that have loud stripes or patterns. Unfortunately, this shirt has both of those characteristics. And, it is a maternity shirt, which means that it involves several acres of fabric. I felt like I was a circus tent today. This shirt also features two of my biggest fashion pet peeves. I generally just stick to comfy t-shirts and jeans, because so many features of "trendier" clothes bug the heck out of me. One peeve is those stupid three-quarter sleeves. I hate them. They drive me bonkers, because they don't go all the way down, but they aren't up either. Instead, they hang out somewhere halfway down your arm and flap around all day right in the most annoying place possible. I spend all day trying to push them...

And albuterol is what keeps S-Boogie's lungs clear when she starts having trouble with her asthma. We foolishly had our neice over to play with S-Boogie yesterday, even though she was coughing and had a sore throat. Well, this morning S-Boogie woke up wheezing and breathing really hard. We've spent all day keeping an eye on her and have given her a few albuterol treatments with her nebulizer. By tonight she still wasn't back to normal, so I took her in to the after-hours clinic so they could listen to her lungs and test her oxygen. It wasn't a fun visit at all. We've discovered that albuterol has the unfortunate side effect of hyperactivity. It's nice to know that it is working and getting absorbed into her system. It's not nice to be waiting in a small room in the doctor's office with a toddler who is high on her meds. We had to wait nearly 25 minutes. They were mostly filled with climbing up and down, up and down, up and down; running in circles; openi...

I would like to wish everyone out there a happy Three Kings Day . For those of you who don't know what that means, in many countries January 6 marks the day the Three Kings came to visit the baby Jesus. Thus, we must celebrate this day by eating too much, drinking too much, and giving presents to those whom we love. But seriously, in Spain and many Latin American countries children do not receive gifts from Santa Claus and they don't get them on Christmas. Instead, their gifts come on January 6, brought by the Three Kings themselves. The night before "Reyes", most cities have big parties and parades where the Kings appear and throw candy at you. Also, everyone eats lots of the traditional Kings Day cake called roscón . Last night we had some friends over for paella and roscón. Then we played Trivial Pursuit until the wee hours of the morning. I didn't get any presents this morning, but it was still a pretty good fiesta.

When S-Boogie went in for her 2 month checkup and her first vaccines, our pediatrician asked if we wanted to participate in a vaccine study. I didn't have any problem with it, so over the course of a few months she got a few doses of a vaccine for rotavirus, we kept track of her temperature and any side effects (there weren't any) in a little book, and in the end we got paid $75, which we used to get her a new carseat. It was relatively painless and I felt good knowing that we were helping the cause of science. Today I just read in the New York Times that they've now approved the rotavirus vaccine for distribution around the world. That news made me want to cry: rotavirus causes diarrhea and vomiting and contributes to the deaths of about 500,000 children every year. Yes, half a million babies die each year because they get sick in countries where no one can help them get better. And now, hopefully, a lot less of them will be getting sick, and if they do it won't be ...

Most of the time I go back to school wishing I had done more while I was on vacation. This time, though, I've actually gotten a lot of stuff done. Of course, I did have a three week break to work with instead of two weeks, so that did help. The lame thing is, most of this is stuff that probably could all have been accomplished in a day or two. But, I will not disparage my own efforts and will take whatever praise I can get. I now have a sparkling clean refrigerator, a much more organized bedroom, de-mildowed bath toys, and a blindingly white bathtub. It's lovely. Plus I've made more progress on S-Boogie's baby book, which truly is the project that will never end. Maybe I'll get it done in time for her wedding. My joy over all this cleaning was tempered today by the realization that the rest of this year is probably going to be hell until September or so. 2006 is really going to be the year that sucks. I'm going to be in school straight through until the middle o...

OK, these aren't really in any special order, but I wanted to show off my personal top 10 list for 2005: #1 and #2: Within the short span of just one year, S-Boogie decided to grow hair and now looks much more like a real girl. #3: Due to sudden, massive plumbing failure in our old place, we got to move a few doors down to an apartment that did not have brown walls, brown carpet, or brown curtains. #4 Master Fob finished his thesis and became a master, giving me hope that it can be done. #5 Two weeks in Hawaii, during which S-Boogie made good use of her cute pink swimming suit. #6 S-Boogie turned 2 and we celebrated with a fabulous party at her favorite place, the Scera Park pool. #7 We became very, very grateful for good health insurance after 2 seperate hospital stays for breathing troubles. S-Boogie was diagnosed with asthma and now we give her medicine every day that seems to be helping quite a bit. #8 Master Fob, S-Boogie and the redwood trees. We enjoyed a visit to San Franci...

We actually stayed up past midnight this year, and we made S-Boogie stay up with us. That wasn't the plan at all--we were just going to stop by the party for a while and then go home. But once there we decided that we were having too much fun to stop and so things just kept going. And S-Boogie just kept going until I put her in bed at 12:30. She usually goes to bed at 8:00. Today she is running around with little red-rimmed eyes and looking like someone with a hangover. Sorry baby. PS--If you can name the Simpsons episode referenced in the title, you win a prize (Unles you are Master Fob--he can't play)