Refinement

One thing that I'm realizing about myself is that I'm really bad at asking for help or for admitting that I just can't do something. The "nice" thing about post-partum hormones is that when I get overwhelmed they make me break down in a sobbing mess, so it's pretty obvious that I've just been faking it. At least Master Fob is patient with me and understands that it's just the estrogen talking.

Also, I feel really guilty asking Master Fob to do things around the house. I realized this the other day, because I don't feel bad asking S-Boogie to do things for herself, like picking up her toys or putting her clothes away. But for some reason I feel terrible about asking my husband to do things. I think I spoil him, because I usually just do most things myself (like cleaning the bathroom, taking out the trash, etc.) He usually doesn't notice if I don't say anything, and I hate saying something. (I also feel bad because he already goes to work all day, so I might as well pick up a little more of the housework. When we both worked, we divided things more evenly) I just hate to bother other people and make them do things for me. That's why I hate shopping so much, especially in those stores in the mall where the salespeople want to pay attention to you. I'd rather just be invisible and take care of myself. It's a good thing I keep getting some lovely opportunities to learn how to depend on other people, even though I'd rather get my life back soon.

Comments

Th. said…
.

Have you considered shoplifting?
6/09/2006 10:14 AM
skyeJ said…
I hate salespeople in stores because they always expect you to buy something because you've been helped by them. I don't trust them. I have to get really mad at them to let them help me, and then I can justify not buying anything instead of feeling pressured into buying something. It's all in my head. It's stupid. It helps to go shopping with actual money, and to let them give me suggestions, it's all about TRUST baby. Trust them to HELP you, and that's all. I just don't like to trust other people to help me. I feel your pain, Foxy, but I also know that you MUST learn to trust people because that's when it gets REALLY good to be alive. ;-) It feels good to be vulnerable sometimes.
6/09/2006 10:32 AM
B.G. Christensen said…
I suddenly feel like there's something I should have been doing that I'm not.
6/09/2006 1:55 PM
Celia Marie (W.) B. said…
I echo your sentiments. I feel very much the same way.
6/10/2006 8:30 PM
daltongirl said…
Amen, sister! This is SO me, from the estrogen to the shopping.
6/15/2006 2:23 PM
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