Our Early Anniversary Trip

Like I mentioned a while ago, I won a gift certificate for the Homestead Resort, which is up in Midway. Mr. Fob and I went and used it on Friday night and it was fabulous. The only thing I would have done differently is plan the trip to have more time to spend up there. Next time I would like to do more activities, like some bike riding, hiking, or more swimming (this would be cool). Friday afternoon we dropped the kids off in Salt Lake and headed up to Midway. First we stopped off at the outlets in Park City for a little shopping. I splurged and bought myself two new pairs of maternity jeans; Motherhood is one of the few places I've found petite maternity pants and I'm glad I don't have to spent the winter tripping over my pants. Hopefully I'll keep finding nice shirts on my regular thrift store trips. Now I can't wait for the weather to cool off so I can wear my new pants. After the outlets we drove into Heber and grabbed dinner at Granny's drive-in; then we checked in at the hotel, found our room, and ate outside on our little patio. I had a cheeseburger with onion rings and a fresh raspberry shake. It was delicious. After dinner we went for a walk around the grounds and then we came back to our room and watched episodes of the show 30 Rock on DVD. In the morning we got breakfast at the restaurant (my pancakes were fluffy and tasty), soaked in the mineral hot tub for a while, and had a massage at the spa. Then we had to check out and pick up the kids, but we did buy ourselves some fudge at the gift shop to make up for having to leave. It was a great little getaway and we would definitely like to go back again some time. Our room was clean and very nice, the staff were all friendly and helpful, the grounds are beautiful, and the spa was great too. I wish I could go back every weekend.

16 Weeks

I haven't said much about my pregnancy on this blog, especially compared to the last time. That's mostly because there hasn't been a lot to complain about. I spent the first trimester feeling yucky; I didn't have a lot of the more traditional nausea, just severe indigestion and heartburn. It felt like food was just sitting there instead of doing anything after I ate it. I have had phases of nausea as well, especially the kind where everything smells terrible and makes me gag. But I am mostly feeling better right now and hope things start looking up from now on. Thankfully I haven't had too many of my other digestive issues; I think that's because we've transitioned to a mostly vegetarian diet and I am proactive about eating a lot of fiber. I will also confess that I've hardly ever taken my vitamins because the extra iron makes me feel terrible, but I know I'm going to need it even more from this point on so I'm trying to figure out how to work with that.

I also have not been very excited about being pregnant up to this point. This baby was planned, but then things got crazy with moving and trying to figure out insurance, and we both realized that it's been a while since we had a baby and it's hard to go back. Plus I usually don't let myself get very excited during the first trimester in case something happens. Weird, I know. The truth is that now I'm starting to get excited and I think Mr. Fob is too. We're both looking forward to the ultrasound in a few weeks and I hope we can not only find out what gender we're having but also if things are looking good with the placenta. I'm also glad that I'm not in school or working right now because mentally I'm feeling good so far. Hopefully everything keeps going along well for the next 24 weeks.

We're Getting Away (and maybe you can too)

Mr. Fob called and made reservations for us to use our gift certificate this weekend and I can't wait. The kids are pretty excited because they get to spend time with their cousin and their auntie (and new uncle and cousins probably too). Now I'm just trying to decide what else we will do besides enjoy our suite at the hotel and our scheduled massage session at the spa. Anyone have good ideas for a Friday night in Salt Lake, Park City, or Heber? Part of me wants to just go through the drive-thru at Chik-fil-A and find a place to have a picnic, but I wonder if we should be more romantic than that.

Also, we have two tickets to the outdoor movie at the SCERA shell this Saturday night. They are showing Iron Man. If anyone wants them, let me know. I also have one coupon for buy one/get one free for tickets to the Bedtime Stories night at the Storytelling Festival (Friday Sep. 4) . The tickets for that are normally eight dollars per person (it's best for slightly older kids who are willing to sit and listen--we're probably pushing it by taking Little Dude). The kids got these things in their summer reading prizes and I hate to just throw them away if anyone wants them.

A Milestone in My Life

Shortly after we moved in to this house my parents brought up my cedar chest that I've had since high school. We've never lived in a place that's really been big enough for it, and we've moved around a lot, so they've been storing it in their house. Obviously I haven't put anything in it or even looked in it for a number of years. I had a lot of fun when I opened it up and started going through it. I found a few wonderful gems that just have to be shared. The first one comes from a journal I kept for a while when I was eleven and twelve. I've never considered myself an artist but for some reason I felt a need to add illustrations to my entries. I think they are the best part:

New School Year, New Routines

Today S-Boogie expressed surprise when I explained that she would be the only one starting school this fall. For as long as she can remember, either Mommy or Daddy has also gone to school with her as well. I'm pretty relieved to not be going to school but I have been a little more sad about her starting first grade than I thought I would be. She went to a preschool that was every day and then she went to kindergarten last year so I know she can handle it. First grade just seems so grown up that I can't believe we're at that point already. I'm also a little nervous because her teacher is a brand-new, first year teacher who looks like she's about fifteen. I know every teacher has to have a first year, but I also remember how incompetent I was my first semester teaching and worry about how things are going to go for everyone. S-Boogie's previous two teachers were both quite experienced so it's a change for me.

I am a little glad for the start of the year and the chance to get into a better routine. We travelled a lot this summer, and I really haven't been feeling very well with the pregnancy, so we've all become quite lazy around here. For one thing, I've decided to try having a rule that we'll have no television on school days. She doesn't finish school until three o'clock and it just seems silly to waste some of those few hours before bed on television. We're all pretty addicted to it--the kids love it and I love having them quiet for a while--so it will be an adjustment. I also think I need to start doing a better job at cleaning our house. I've never been great at keeping it up, but with only one bathroom and a tile floor in the dining room things get messy fast. Plus Mr. Fob is here all day and so we make a lot of dirty dishes and other types of mess. I'm trying to decide if I want to do any sort of special stuff with Little Dude as well; I'll probably take him to story time at the library once a week. That's the weird thing for me: realizing that he'll get to do stuff with me during the day that she will miss out on because she is in school. I also need to get better at exercising and I hope that walking back and forth to school every day will help me out. I guess I'd better get to bed so I can wake up bright and early to make sure we all have breakfast on time. At least with only one kid at home I can still get my afternoon nap in every day.

Who Are You?

Mr. Fob and I attended the Sunstone Symposium today; we really did not have the time or resources to attend the entire event over the last few days, but perhaps at some future time we will. Today was a nice experience for both of us. The sessions we attended--together and separately--were enriching and it was nice to spend a day away from the children focusing on adult contact. I had been a little nervous about asking my sister-in-law to watch them for a full day but they enjoyed themselves and were also happy to see us when we picked them up.

I will admit that one of my motivations in attending events like Sunstone is meeting people. After typing that sentence I realized that I made it sound like a bad thing. It's not a bad thing to be sociable and to be part of community. I do feel a little silly when meeting people that I perceive as being somehow 'cooler' than me and acting like a giggly fangirl. It's silly because I realized today that we are all working together to build a community, even if some of us are more visible and known than others.

I was also talking to someone today about one of the problems inherent in blogging. I love blogging and I like being a 'blogger'. I think I will keep doing it for a long time, even though there might be some more fallow periods along the way (I feel like I've been going through one lately). She and I were talking about blogging and the false intimacy it can sometimes foster with people. Sometimes it can be uncomfortable to meet people who know many of your darker secrets, things you might not have shared in other forums. There can be a tendency to categorize people by the things we know about them, especially those things that set them apart from others. Many people there, both those who read us online and those who don't, know Mr. Fob and I from our writings and interviews about our marriage. It can sometimes be a little weird for people to know me as 'that woman who married a gay man'. I have a lot of other facets to myself and we have a lot of other dimensions to our marriage. On the other hand, I still am convinced that our visibility has been mostly positive. We have been able to form several close friendships with other couples in similar situations, and I often have people reach out to me about a variety of difficult topics. It also places the issue on the table and invites others to discuss it with us. Sometimes I've had people apologize, especially when they express opinions about things like gay men marrying women (don't worry, I don't usually recommend it either). I know that by being open I run some risks. Openness can leave you vulnerable, but it can also give you more opportunities to connect to others. I hope that as I keep writing and participating in communities, both virtually and in 'real life' I can keep discovering more depth to myself and to others.

It really is the dog days

You know how sometimes you have 'one of those days'? I feel like it's 'one of those weeks'. The silly thing is, nothing major has gone wrong.. I've just been in a bad mood and not able to pull myself out of it very well. The kids haven't been sleeping well and so they've been grumpy so that hasn't helped. S-Boogie seems to be doing everything possible to assure that I will gladly hand her off to school next week without any tears or regrets. I've been feeling lazy and we haven't been able to go to the pool because her ear was still healing. So that has meant many days spent sitting around the house getting bored and picking on each other. On Wednesday morning I took them into the doctor to check her ear. She passed with flying colors, but the kids spent at least five minutes fighting over the lone chair in the exam room. I finally got fed up and put the chair out in the hall. One of the nurses gave me a funny look, but I don't care because it's been that kind of a week. Last night I even completely burned dinner. I'm still trying to clean the pan. I've also been antsy because I'm waiting for two pieces of mail that haven't shown up yet, plus Mr. Fob's computer died so he's been using mine all day. At least on Saturday Mr. Fob and I are spending the entire day together at Sunstone, so hopefully that will be a nice break and I can regroup for next week. Just don't laugh if you see me wearing my sweatpants; maternity stuff doesn't fit yet and I can't button my jeans. I can't wait until September.

Reading Roundup: July 2009

Goodbye to Poplarhaven: Recollections of a Utah Boyhood by Edward Geary

This book is a collection of personal essays about growing up in a small town in rural Utah. I love his attention to detail and his clear descriptions of a world that is in many ways foreign to me. Despite the fact that his focus is not necessarily religious, his stories about rural life not only helped me understand more about Utah history, but more about certain attitudes and cultural practices among some Mormons I know. It's a worthwhile read if you are interested in personal essay or in Utah history.

Tell No One by Harlan Coben

I don't read too many books in the mystery or thriller genre, but Mr. Fob had read this for his book group and recommended it to me. I thought it was engaging and fun to read; not my favorite book by any means, but good for what it was. I might go ahead and read another one by Coben.

Funny in Farsi: A Memoir of Growing Up Iranian in America by Firoozeh Dumas

This was another quick, fun read. The author manages to make her family sound fun and funny without using sarcasm or belittling them in any way. This is the kind of book that makes you want to invite yourself over for dinner with the family just to enjoy all their wonderful stories and tasty food.

Promises To Keep: Diane's Story by Dean Hughes

This book is a follow-up to Hughes' earlier series, and while it ties up many of the story threads from the series I felt that it just wasn't all that interesting on its own. The story is solid and the writing is decent (although I was longing for a better editor for a lot of reasons). If you've read the Hearts of the Children series you would probably enjoy this, but it wasn't a great book.

The Year My Son and I Were Born by Kathryn Lynard Soper

This is probably not the best book to read while pregnant, since her raw honesty about post-partum depression brought back a lot of painful memories for me. But it is a powerful book, not only in its honesty but in the insights she draws from her experience. It is not just a book about dealing with a disabled child, but about dealing with the sudden, devastating challenges that come to all of us at one point or another in our lives.

American Lightning: Terror, Mystery, the Birth of Hollywood and the Crime of the Century by Howard Blum

I like well-written books about history and this was no exception. The story is interesting and the people involved really seem to come to life through the author's descriptions of them. I didn't think I would find the specific time period to be quite as interesting as it was; it was also interesting to think about some of the parallels between history as written here and our current time period.

An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination by Elizabeth McCracken

Another book that is probably not the best one to read while pregnant, since it's a memoir of her experience with having a stillborn baby. It was still a good memoir and I thought it was very well-written.

High Fidelity by Nick Hornby

A book I enjoyed more than I thought I would, especially since I honestly don't know much about music. It was still a lot of fun to read and I liked the characters quite a bit.

The Giant Joshua by Maurine Whipple

Another book I liked quite a lot. I've read a fair amount about this book since it always comes up in discussions of the history of Mormon literature. I think it's place is well-earned; even though it does sometimes feel a bit dated in its storytelling techniques and word choices, it is still a compelling book with well-drawn characters and an engaging plot. I can also understand the objections of those who worry about its depiction of the pioneers. These are not saints, but good people trying their best to become holy while still falling short because they are human. That makes for good reading in my opinion.

Movies

Jurassic Park

I haven't seen this movie in years, possibly since it was in theater. It is a bit cheesy and the characters are all annoying stereotypes, but it is still pretty darn scary. A good antidote to all the cutesy kids books about dinosaurs that we have sitting around here.

Tell No One

This is a French film based on the Harlan Coben book we read and we both really liked it. First of all, most foreign films I watch are serious dramas so it was nice to watch a French thriller instead. The adaptation of the story to France worked well and the film was just as supsenseful as the book.

This Week

It's Saturday and now the week is mostly over I feel like I can finally post about it. It wasn't a bad week, just a busy one. Saturday night I returned from camping in California, then Sunday we had to get up early for church. Since the move and all our other traveling Little Dude has developed a serious aversion to nursery. Thankfully on Sunday I was able to help him go to class so hopefully the rest of the year will go well. This week I just hung out in the room, gradually withdrawing myself until I was able to leave because he was comfortable without me. I'm still hating the fact that being new in a ward means I cannot remember anyone's name, but church is going better I think. Sunday evening we went to my niece's baptism; it went well and everyone had a good time as far as I can tell. S-Boogie gave the closing prayer and did a good job up in front of everyone, even though few people could actually hear it.

Monday evening we had a birthday party for S-Boogie with the extended family, since that was the best time for people to do it. I spent most of the day cleaning and cooking to get ready for the party. Thankfully S-Boogie's grandpa showed up to take her shopping at the toy store, which meant that I could run errands with just one child. Since I only had Little Dude with me I decided to stop off at Motherhood in the mall just in case they had a nice dress on sale. Unbelievably, they had a very cute dress that fit me well and was a reasonable price. The birthday party was nice and S-Boogie had a great time with her 'big family' (as she likes to call it). Tuesday was my sister-in-law's wedding and it went really well. Her husband died seven years ago, and she recently met a wonderful man who lost his wife last year. They got married in the temple for time and had a lovely ceremony. Mr. Fob came and waited with the kids outside the temple; my niece really wanted to be there and be the first to hug her mom when she came out. Afterwards there was a small reception for family and the only thing I regret was that my camera batteries died and I didn't have fresh ones with me. We ate yummy food and danced, and the best part of the night for me was when tired Little Dude curled up in a chair and fell asleep. That was great.

Wednesday was S-Boogie's actual birthday, and I confess to feeling a bit unenthusiastic the whole day because I was already worn out from the previous few days. In the morning we stopped by her new school to enroll her in first grade and then made our weekly trip to the library. The kids got coupons for Taco Amigo for summer reading so I took them out to lunch and then we came home and took it easy for the rest of the afternoon. That night we opened presents as a family after dinner and ate some more of the cake and ice cream from Monday night.

Thankfully the rest of the week wasn't quite so bad. Thursday I had to take S-Boogie back to the doctor because she still had swimmer's ear after several days of ear drops. He prescribed stronger ones so hopefully we'll be able to clear it up soon. We are definitely taking better preventive measures once we get back in the pool because ear infections are no fun for anyone. Thursday night I got the chance to go out to dinner with some of the sisters I served with on my mission; I haven't seen many of them for a few years so it was fun to get together again. Yesterday we didn't leave the house at all. It was so nice. I also took a nap in the afternoon. Hopefully next week will be that low-key too. I've had enough excitement this week to last for a while!

Party!

Since my summer has not already been completely full, we're hosting a blog party on Saturday night. This is your chance to see our beautiful new home (don't get your hopes up too high) and to meet the fabulous, and elusive, Melyngoch. Party starts at about 5:30. We'll provide some food--right now I'm thinking spinach dip with baguette and maybe some couscous salad. Email me for directions to my home and if you want to bring a food item. Hope to see you there!

We Survived (Mostly)

I'm back from my weeklong adventure to the beach and feel a need to blog about it, but am not sure where to begin. I don't think my audience really wants a daily play-by-play and I don't think I feel up to typing that much out. It really did turn out to be a good time and I think the kids had a blast. We stayed at a campground here that was across the highway from the beach, so every day we spent some time there playing in the sand. The high tide came up in the afternoon, which freaked out Little Dude and he spent a lot of time playing on the rocks instead of the sand. As a mother I naturally worried about this and spent a lot of time trying to entice him onto the sand. And of course on our last evening there he fell hard and sustained a nasty injury on his forehead. I was scared we were going to have to drive the hospital because it was bleeding a lot, but it actually turned out to not be very wide and has healed nicely.

We spent most of our days just hanging out and playing. The kids loved seeing the various forms of wildlife, like bunnies, squirrels, and birds. I didn't enjoy the flock of wild parrots that woke us up each morning as soon as the sun came out. It was fun to watch them as they hung upside down and ate berries from the trees. Next time I think I would plan on hiking; we didn't bring appropriate shoes or clothes (you need long pants to avoid ticks and rattlesnakes). I also learned that I should bring more than one pair of pajama pants, since mine started to smell very interesting after a week there. I also forgot to pack extra pajamas for S-Boogie so she had the same problem I did.

The kids did very well, and some of the things I worried about were not a problem. They slept all night comfortably in the tent and were usually quite ready for bed by the time it got dark. In fact, most nights one or the other of them actually asked to go to sleep. And after the first morning they didn't get up insanely early either. My parents rented a motorhome, which made things easier for a lot of reasons, but it also was hard because the kids wanted to play in it all the time and motorhomes aren't made for playing in. They only got mildly sunburned one day and they even enjoyed the day that we drove up to Santa Barbara to see the mission. I did not expect S-Boogie to develop the attitude problem that she did. After a few days she was one grouchy, rude little girl. I think it was partly due to new surroundings and new people to test her powers on, but also due to the fact that she developed another case of swimmer's ear. I was thankful that it hasn't seemed to be as painful as last time that happened, especially because the morning we spent trying to get into urgent care and get some ear drops ended up being fruitless. No one would take our insurance, but my mom generously paid the large fee required to have someone look in her ear and tell us that it was infected. The pharmacy also had trouble getting our insurance to work so I just gave up and spent the last few days dosing her regularly with Motrin.

And so we all made it home with our bodies and sanity mostly intact. Little Dude dropped our camera but it still works even though the lens cover won't work anymore. Our car survived the trip and hopefully S-Boogie's ear will heal fast. The jury is still out on next year, but I'd like to go if Mr. Fob can come along. This time I'll bring the ear drops too, just in case. And extra pajamas.