Why are all the single guys unhappy?

So in her blog today Cicada referenced a "happiness survey" that seemed to indicate that single men are the most unhappy of any group (the other options being single women, married women, and married men). Of course there are no statistics to back up these claims, but I have been wondering why it is that single men would feel so much more unhappy than single women.

I think a major part of the problem is that our society does little to encourage male intimacy. When girls get together, what do they talk about? Deep, emotional stuff (OK, not all the time, but there is bonding going on there). When guys get together they talk about cars, guns, computers, fishing, sports, etc. I think part of it is cultural expectations and part of it is inherent male reticence. Yeah, everyone says that guys just want to get married so they can have sex, but that's really only part of it. Sex has a lot to do with intimacy and vulnerability, and guys don't have much of an outlet for those things. I think it's kind of sad that they don't.

Even the church seems to have something against male intimacy. It's probably more just cultural than anything, but it is interesting that Relief Society focuses a lot on building a bond of sisterhood while Elders Quorum mainly tries to get guys to focus more on their families (or on getting married, in the case of singles wards). We get to have visiting teachers and we get to get together during things like Enrichment night, and the guys rarely get a chance to hang out just as guys. Even if they go on camp outs and stuff, it's usually "Fathers and sons" or with their fathers. Girls get to sing about being sisters in Zion and helping each other, but the guy songs are all about the elders of Israel going out to help the world.

Anyways, these are just some random thoughts I had and I am sure they are totally full of stereotypes and half-formed ideas. I hope that we can make this world a little more male friendship friendly. Why don't they get to have a "guys night out" while we go to the Relief Society broadcast in a few weeks? Can we get some good "guy flicks" for them all to watch and cry together over? Of course maybe I shouldn't encourage this, because then no one would ever get married, and then there would be no more happiness.


In _my_ elder's quorum, we had a lesson on male intimacy. But then, I taught it, so maybe it doesn't count.
Th. said…

Speaking only for myself, as a single man, even though I was trying to be all impressive and whatever, I still found I easier to be emotionally intimate with my female friends than my male ones.

Not sure why.

Not sure if this is even continuing the conversation at all.
svoid said…
Speaking as a single man I would like to point out some omissions in your list of things that guys talk about. Here is your original list: "cars, guns, computers, fishing, sports, etc". That list should look something more like: "cars, sex, guns, sex, computers, sex, fishing, sex, sports, sex, etc.". But then again I'm not really all that interested in cars, guns, fishing or sports.
Th. said…


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