Domestic goddess

I'm really having a hard time adjusting to being back in school this term. I am glad I didn't try to go spring after I nearly went crazy during winter semester. But, I sometimes wish that I weren't going to school at all. Lately I have felt very conflicted about the school thing in general. It feels like the right thing to do, I generally enjoy it, and it's a nice excuse to hang around adults and pretend that I am still a normal human being. But I also kind of like being a mom who stays home and doesn't do much besides eat too many cookies and sit around reading trashy books while her child destroys the living room. I am also realizing that neither school nor mommyness is fun and exciting in the same way that other things are, like spending two weeks on vacation or eating an entire pan of warm brownies in one sitting. I think I have been expecting that one or the other will suddenly make my wildest dreams come true and I will be so in love with it I will never want it to end. The truth is, most of my fellow grad students don't really enjoy writing 20 page papers on Jose Marti either, and most moms I know agree that not every day is super-fantastico. But, yesterday I loved every minute of my grammar class and discovered that diagramming sentence structures fills me with near-orgasmic delight. And then at night I also discovered that thoroughly cleaning my kitchen is just as fulfilling, so for now I think I will be goddess of many incarnations, not just a domestic one.

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