What I haven't been blogging about
I feel like I haven't been posting much lately. It's not just because I'm on vacation. For the last month everything has been really crazy in my life. The problem is, we're getting divorced.
I haven't said much on the blog yet, but it's getting to the point where I can't really post much that would make sense without some background. And I'm tired of pretending like everything is fine when it's not. I'll try not to turn this into a forum to vent my feelings; that's why I have a journal. Most of my close friends and family already know, but like I said, I need to be able to post again.
I've been here in Utah for the past two weeks now. My original plan was to stay here and get a job. It's cheaper here and I'm closer to family and friends. But I feel like my heart is softening and all I've been able to think about for the last few days are my children. Little Dude hasn't seemed to notice too much, but S-Boogie is sad, angry and has started peeing her pants again. They need to be closer to their daddy, and he has to stay in Washington for at least another year for school. So I think I'm going to go back up there this weekend (Master Fob is already flying down for Easter, so we'll just drive back up together). I'm scared about the higher cost of living, but I think I can make it work. Also, after two weeks here, I'm beginning to remember why I left in the first place. I think I fit in Washington better. I just don't have a big support network there yet, but I'm hopeful that I can find one. My goal is to make a decision today; I'm trying to find some time to get away to the temple and make a final decision. It's hard because my mind isn't very clear since I was up until 3 AM with Little Dude at the ER (another post for another time--he's got bad tonsillitis and a general bacterial infection).
So yeah, that's what's going on. I wasn't sure if I was going to enable comments, but I think I will. For what it's worth, the decision has been made, so please be kind. You all are also free to email me if you have anything to say.
I haven't said much on the blog yet, but it's getting to the point where I can't really post much that would make sense without some background. And I'm tired of pretending like everything is fine when it's not. I'll try not to turn this into a forum to vent my feelings; that's why I have a journal. Most of my close friends and family already know, but like I said, I need to be able to post again.
I've been here in Utah for the past two weeks now. My original plan was to stay here and get a job. It's cheaper here and I'm closer to family and friends. But I feel like my heart is softening and all I've been able to think about for the last few days are my children. Little Dude hasn't seemed to notice too much, but S-Boogie is sad, angry and has started peeing her pants again. They need to be closer to their daddy, and he has to stay in Washington for at least another year for school. So I think I'm going to go back up there this weekend (Master Fob is already flying down for Easter, so we'll just drive back up together). I'm scared about the higher cost of living, but I think I can make it work. Also, after two weeks here, I'm beginning to remember why I left in the first place. I think I fit in Washington better. I just don't have a big support network there yet, but I'm hopeful that I can find one. My goal is to make a decision today; I'm trying to find some time to get away to the temple and make a final decision. It's hard because my mind isn't very clear since I was up until 3 AM with Little Dude at the ER (another post for another time--he's got bad tonsillitis and a general bacterial infection).
So yeah, that's what's going on. I wasn't sure if I was going to enable comments, but I think I will. For what it's worth, the decision has been made, so please be kind. You all are also free to email me if you have anything to say.
Comments
I'll email you.
Some advice a friend gave me when I was left a single mom: She said divorce is already hard enough on the kids without them having to also change houses, schools, neighborhoods, wards, etc. It's not always realistic to stay, but if it does work, it seems like it would be easier on the kids. And if you feel like it's the right decision, I'm sure the Lord will provide the help you need, both financial and in terms of a local support group.
My love and prayers are with you.
Know we love you.