What I haven't been blogging about

I feel like I haven't been posting much lately. It's not just because I'm on vacation. For the last month everything has been really crazy in my life. The problem is, we're getting divorced.

I haven't said much on the blog yet, but it's getting to the point where I can't really post much that would make sense without some background. And I'm tired of pretending like everything is fine when it's not. I'll try not to turn this into a forum to vent my feelings; that's why I have a journal. Most of my close friends and family already know, but like I said, I need to be able to post again.

I've been here in Utah for the past two weeks now. My original plan was to stay here and get a job. It's cheaper here and I'm closer to family and friends. But I feel like my heart is softening and all I've been able to think about for the last few days are my children. Little Dude hasn't seemed to notice too much, but S-Boogie is sad, angry and has started peeing her pants again. They need to be closer to their daddy, and he has to stay in Washington for at least another year for school. So I think I'm going to go back up there this weekend (Master Fob is already flying down for Easter, so we'll just drive back up together). I'm scared about the higher cost of living, but I think I can make it work. Also, after two weeks here, I'm beginning to remember why I left in the first place. I think I fit in Washington better. I just don't have a big support network there yet, but I'm hopeful that I can find one. My goal is to make a decision today; I'm trying to find some time to get away to the temple and make a final decision. It's hard because my mind isn't very clear since I was up until 3 AM with Little Dude at the ER (another post for another time--he's got bad tonsillitis and a general bacterial infection).

So yeah, that's what's going on. I wasn't sure if I was going to enable comments, but I think I will. For what it's worth, the decision has been made, so please be kind. You all are also free to email me if you have anything to say.

Comments

AmyJane said…
Oh.....
I'll email you.
4/03/2007 1:09 PM
ambrosia ananas said…
I'm sorry. Bawb and I are happy to help with anything you need. If you ever need a break, we're happy to watch S-Boogie and Little Dude. Or if you ever want to come over, hang out, and have dinner.
4/03/2007 1:18 PM
Lindsay said…
I've lurked on your blog for awhile, and I see you found mine, too (thanks for the comment, by the way), so I feel like I kinda know you, even though I've never piped up. Anyway, I am very sorry for the turmoil this situation is causing you, and offer you my sincerest sympathies. You are in my thoughts.
4/03/2007 1:38 PM
Kengo Biddles said…
Foxy, while the picture's not clear to me exactly what's going on, I'm terribly sorry for this trial that's facing you. I know I'm a faceless internet stranger, but any help I could ever be to you would be something I would like to give, and I know Miki would concur and offer you the same.
4/03/2007 3:21 PM
Anonymous said…
Oh, foxyj. *hugs* It sounds like you're doing all the right things to help you, Master Fob, and your children get through this as much as possible. You don't know me personally, but we have a lot of the same friends, and I've been reading your blog for months (almost a year) now. I do care about you from afar, and I hope everything works out okay in the end.
4/03/2007 3:26 PM
TK said…
I know you're the one who has to feel right about the final decision, but for what it's worth, I think going to Seattle sounds like a good idea for all 4 of you. The children could be around BOTH of you; MF could see the children more often; and you would have his help with childcare and other things that come up.

Some advice a friend gave me when I was left a single mom: She said divorce is already hard enough on the kids without them having to also change houses, schools, neighborhoods, wards, etc. It's not always realistic to stay, but if it does work, it seems like it would be easier on the kids. And if you feel like it's the right decision, I'm sure the Lord will provide the help you need, both financial and in terms of a local support group.

My love and prayers are with you.
4/03/2007 11:00 PM
Th. said…
.

Know we love you.
4/03/2007 11:18 PM
skyeJ said…
Morocco loves you too. :-)
4/04/2007 5:58 AM
Chris said…
Much love to you and your family.
4/04/2007 7:53 AM
ambrosia ananas said…
Also, Bawb and I appreciate the times you've had us in your home. We think highly of you and Master Fob. And I admire you for putting your children's needs ahead of what would be easier for you. Please really call us if you need anything while you're here. (You can email me at ambrosia.ananas at gmail to get our number.)
4/04/2007 10:44 AM
Kari said…
I know this had to have been one of the toughest decisions you two had to make. I wish I were closer to be of support. My love to you both...
4/18/2007 5:19 PM
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