Uncertainty
What I hate most about my life right now is the uncertainty. Everything is waiting for me to get a job; then I will be able to to find a place to live and create a budget and all that. So far, however, I have gotten no response other than one postcard thanking me for applying and one job that couldn't interview me because I'll be in Utah. For some reason I thought the difficulty was going to be in deciding between offers. Instead, I can't even get an interview, let alone an offer. I've been trying to be picky, and I'm still waiting to hear from a few jobs that recently closed, but I'm also starting to feel a little panicky. I hate the waiting game so much.
Right now I also feel really bad because I just got a call from the lady at UW's preschool program. S-Boogie was the last one on the waiting list picked for their program in the fall. But I turned her down because I don't know where we will be in the fall. Even if we are in the city, S-Boogie will need full-time care, and this is just a part-time preschool. I think the reason why it hurts the most is because it really means that my life is changing. My vision for next year included staying home with my kids and having S-Boogie go to a free, high-quality preschool for a few days a week. And that is not the life I have any more. Letting go of the dream is the hardest part.
Right now I also feel really bad because I just got a call from the lady at UW's preschool program. S-Boogie was the last one on the waiting list picked for their program in the fall. But I turned her down because I don't know where we will be in the fall. Even if we are in the city, S-Boogie will need full-time care, and this is just a part-time preschool. I think the reason why it hurts the most is because it really means that my life is changing. My vision for next year included staying home with my kids and having S-Boogie go to a free, high-quality preschool for a few days a week. And that is not the life I have any more. Letting go of the dream is the hardest part.
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We all love you.
I hope and pray that something works out soon. Do you have a backup plan if this takes too long? Do you have family/people who could help if necessary? I know that would be a hard choice but, if it comes to it...well, you know. Anyway, I worry about you and your kids a lot. Keep us posted on developments.
You are so right, things will look up as soon as you gain a little more control, i.e. get a job and then things will start falling into place. I once heard that it is a month for each 10 grand of salary you expect. So if you are looking for a job that pays about 50K, plan on 5 months. So be patient and know that lots of people are praying for you! =)