Yellow Wallpaper

Tomorrow night I will be in HAWAII! (Assuming we all survive the six-hour flight.)

I was in a bad mood this morning. S-Boogie and I were at the hospital until nearly 10:30 last night, and I didn't end up in bed until nearly midnight. Then Little Dude woke up early with a nasty poop and a flaming red diaper rash. Even after changing his diaper it still bothered him and he spent a lot of time this morning wandering around crying. S-Boogie was starting to feel better, but still kind of whiny since she got up early too. And I'm stressed about our upcoming trip, finding some sort of job for the next semester, and S-Boogie's recurring illnesses. Finally at around 11:30, after Little Dude woke up from a short nap, I decided that S-Boogie was well enough to go outside for a bit. We wandered over to check our mail and I noticed a nice couch and love seat set in the "giveaway" area by the housing office. I was able to round up two able-bodied and willing men from my ward (an advantage to living in our little Mormon-dominated student enclave) and they haul...

During the last few months I've often found myself explaining to other people--and to myself--that I think S-Boogie doesn't really have asthma, just some reactive airway trouble that's clearing itself up as she gets older. We haven't even had to break out the nebulizer for nearly a year and she's gone through several colds without a problem. She did still have a bit of night time cough, but when I asked her doctor about it last Thursday at her annual checkup I was told not to worry about it. Then she got a cold on Saturday. She's been coughing since then, but up until this morning it was just a tickly, back of the throat cough. This morning we went to her very first dentist appointment (no cavities--yay!) and she seemed fine. Then she came home and didn't eat any lunch. Then she actually fell asleep while watching Dora and stayed asleep for two hours. When she got up from her nap, I noticed that her eyes were beginning to get dark circles under them and her ...

While driving through Idaho Mr. Fob slipped a CD by The Supremes into the player. One of my favorite songs came on and I started singing along: This love we're contemplating Is worth the pain of waiting We'll only end up hating The child we maybe creating Love child, never meant to be Love child, scorned by society Love child, always second best Love child, different from the rest When I was younger I totally loved this song. The lyrics and the music go together so well, and as a righteous young woman I thought it would be the perfect sort of thing to bust out on any young man who tried to take advantage of me (none ever did, but I had delusions of grandeur). As I was singing along this time, I realized that during the forty years since that song was written, the concept of a "love child" has completely disappeared. On the one hand, I think this is a good thing. No child should have to feel different or ashamed because of the choices made by her parents. I think ou...

Last year when we were moving to Seattle I applied for a position as an apartment manager. I interviewed over the phone, but the timing didn't work out well and we didn't get the job. Then a month or so ago I was looking at jobs in craigslist and noticed the same company looking for a manager. I submitted my resume and got a phone call a few weeks ago. That opportunity didn't work out either, but I just got a phone call from the guy wondering if we're available for another complex. We're meeting with him tomorrow to take a look at the apartment and to do a in-person interview. I have mixed feelings about this: First of all, our location here in student housing is fabulous. Mr. Fob can quickly walk to school, we can walk to the grocery store and other places, and we are right next to the bike trail for exercising. Plus I love our little community and the playground right outside our door. Our rent really isn't very high for Seattle and especially not for our loc...

1. Fifteen hours in the car is a really, really long time. 2. Jerome, Idaho smells like cow poop. 3. Jerome, Idaho also had one of the nicest McDonald's cashiers I've ever met. 4. S-Boogie only wants to eat at McDonalds because they have a playground. I'm willing to let her since she spent eleven hours in the car before getting there. 5. You really shouldn't say "what the hell" during the solemn procession at BYU graduation. Especially not when you're standing in the front row just a short distance away from the dean and all the faculty. Thankfully they didn't hear me and the Marriott Center didn't fall down around me. 6. We really shouldn't have ordered the medium-sized guava cake. 7. Blog parties are fun and it's cool to meet so many people in person. 8. Even though I'm morally opposed to video game systems, I think I want a Wii . 9. I'm getting too old to stay up until 2:30. My body is programed to wake up at 7:30 no matter wha...

Yesterday afternoon Mr. Fob and I left the kids with their aunties and cousins and escaped by ourselves to Provo. As we were driving down to campus to retrieve my cap and gown, Mr. Fob turned to me and asked "Do you want to join the Cougar Club?" Apparently he had seen some sort of advertisement, but for some reason the first thing that popped into my mind was something along the lines of the "Mile High Club". And, no, I really don't feel like joining the Cougar Club. Especially since I'd rather stay out of Police Beat .

Even though it's eleven o'clock and my sleeping pill is starting to kick in, I thought I'd write a quick little post to say goodbye before we head to Utah. I'll probably do a little blogging from the road, but I'm trying to use this trip as a chance to hang out with family and friends in person (you're still welcome to come to the party on Saturday, just email for directions). I had a lot of blog posts in my head over the last few days but never got around to them. I fed my children chocolate chip muffins and felt guilty about it; I accidentally crashed a birthday party with S-Boogie; I went to my bookgroup for the first time tonight. I guess I've just been busy. Like Mr. Fob said on his blog, if you're having a bad day tomorrow just remember this: at least you aren't spending fourteen hours in a car with small children.

S-Boogie has suddenly discovered the world of drawing and has been producing some pretty cool artwork lately. Today she created a nice picture of mountains and cars driving in front of them "on the way to cousin Balinga's house". If you look closely you can even see "the mountain with a Y on it". (sorry it didn't scan very well)

So the weather here has remained a cool, cloudy 70 degrees for the last few weeks. That should make one wonder why I am looking forward to strapping my family in a car and driving for 15 hours straight to a place in the desert where the average temperature lately is more like 95 degrees. I am actually very excited about this trip. I will probably remain excited until somewhere between Kennewick and Boise. Then I will probably want to strap the kids to the roof. The thing is, I'm vain. I'm looking forward to dancing across the stage in the Marriott Center chanting " I am so smart. S-M-R-T ". Well, not really. Because the dean would promptly withdraw his endorsement of my thesis. So, I will be in Utah for a few days next week. We are officially having a party for anyone who feels like they want to meet us and our children. The only requirement is that you bring something to eat. The party will take place in Provo on Saturday afternoon around five o'clock. I will no...

I have decided to apply for PhD programs for next year; now I just need to decide where. (I'm going to keep the ESL certification in mind in case I don't get any offers. I had thought of doing it during the next year, but it's too late to get in for fall quarter.) I am also still unsure if I want to keep doing Spanish or do Comparative Literature. At this point it's probably too late to do Comp Lit because I don't have the background preparation I need, but some places include film in their comparative literature programs. However, once you get to PhD level you usually have a bit of flexibility in what you take and what you study so Spanish is probably a good fit. We've also decided that we'd like to stay somewhere in the West, so here are some of the options I'm considering: University of Washington: Not the strongest or most prestigious program, but it has the bonus of being the most convenient. We could even keep living in student housing. University...

As I mentioned, I have a tendency to be stubborn. I also don't like to leave things unfinished. One of the hardest adjustments I've made to being a parent is learning how to leave tasks unfinished, because I constantly get interrupted. I also only recently figured out that it's all right to leave a book without reading all of it. I used to read every book I picked up, even if I didn't like it. For example, at age thirteen I decided that I wanted to read every book written by Judy Blume . I'm not exactly sure why I picked her; I think it was because I had read a few of her books and liked them, and I didn't know about many other YA authors. Eventually I got to Forever , which is her controversially sexually explicit book about teenage romance. I read the whole thing, even though I didn't like it. If I stop and think about it, I can still remember some details of the story. Eww . Now I am older and wiser and have learned that it's OK to sometimes stop read...

Every now and then I peruse BYU's news website, mainly for laughs. Today I noticed an article about a guy who is upset that the library is fining him $700 for highlighting in five books he checked out. First of all, I'm astounded that someone could reach the age of twenty-seven and not understand that you don't get to write in library books. Heck, S-Boogie just turned four and she knows that library books are special. Second of all, I think it's funny that the article mentions that the guy's wife told him not to do it, but he ignored her. The third thing that I found ridiculous was that they guy was complaining because he can't afford the fines since he's a "married student". OK, so my husband and I were married students for a very long time (and still are). What really bugs me at BYU though is how so many people use the fact that they are married as some sort of cop out. Like they didn't make a conscious choice to get married and to be poor...

Your Five Factor Personality Profile Extroversion: You have low extroversion. You are quiet and reserved in most social situations.A low key, laid back lifestyle is important to you.You tend to bond slowly, over time, with one or two people. Conscientiousness: You have high conscientiousness.Intelligent and reliable, you tend to succeed in life.Most things in your life are organized and planned well.But you borderline on being a total perfectionist. Agreeableness: You have medium agreeableness.You're generally a friendly and trusting person.But you also have a healthy dose of cynicism.You get along well with others, as long as they play fair. Neuroticism: You have high neuroticism.It's easy for you to feel shaken, worried, or depressed.You often worry, and your worries prevent you from living life fully.You tend to be emotionally reactive and moody. Your either flying very high or feeling very low. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is medium.You are gener...

A little while ago I remarked to a friend that I considered myself to be stubborn. He expressed surprise, because my public persona is fairly self-effacing and easygoing. But inside I really am stubborn. This morning I proved my point at breakfast. We were having leftover pancakes and hash browns from last night's dinner. Little Dude expressed a desire to have some of my hash browns by pointing to my plate and shrieking. I have a low tolerance for shrieking babies and am determined to teach my children not to shriek. It worked the first time, but I'm now confronted with a non-verbal child who doesn't feel like he has other options. So I looked at him, signed "more" and asked "do you want more?". He shrieked some more. I signed "more" and so did Mr. Fob and S-Boogie. We had a battle of wills for quite a while. Every now and then he would sign "more" politely and be rewarded with a few more bites of hash browns (and lots of praise). ...

My male readers should go find something else to read right now. Believe me, you will not be interested in the contents of this post. Fortunately I can get sympathy from all the ladies, because they know exactly what I'm talking about. So last month I decided to start taking birth control pills again. Normally you should start taking them on the Sunday after starting your period, just to be in sync with your cycle. I was impatient and decided to start taking them the week before my period. I was somewhat hopeful that this would mean I could skip for a month. The first week was fine and I started to get excited that maybe I was just going to reset my body. Then during the middle of the second week my period started. As if that wasn't bad enough, my body decided to punish me by making it extra yucky. And it lasted ten days. Ten days! Things finally calmed down this last Sunday, which also marked the start of the "off week" in which I was supposed to be having a period....

Today my mom emailed me an article about a missionaries in Salt Lake who teach a special Sunday School class that combines ESL and basic gospel concepts for new members who are recent immigrants. I thought it sounded like a cool idea, and it tickled a thought that's been hiding in the back of my brain for a while: what about teaching ESL? I have thought of this from time to time, but never really done anything about it. I'm not sure why. I have enjoyed all my linguistics classes as well as my pedagogy ones, so I'm sure I would enjoy the curriculum to get my certification. And I would always be able to get a job, anywhere. I could even go work overseas if I wanted to. It also fulfills my inner need to "do something good". Not that teaching Spanish doesn't do that, but for some reason I feel a stronger desire to be more directly involved with those who really are struggling. I like academia, but for some reason the eliteness and esotericness of it has never sa...

Yesterday evening I totally screamed at my daughter. This may horrify those of you who don't have children, but anyone who has children will probably understand. We've been having some issues with her bothering her little brother, and I lost it after hearing him start crying for the third time in five minutes. However, my reaction really was inappropriate in proportion to her actions. Most of the anger I directed at her was really precipitated by my feelings about a thread on a blog I had been reading. I think I need to cut back on my internet activity a little. A similar thing happened about two years ago and preceded my entry into the blogging world. When S-Boogie was about four months old I stumbled onto a bulletin board for LDS moms on a popular parenting site. I enjoyed reading and participating in the board for about a year or so. Then I started to get overwhelmed with school stuff and other things in my life. I also started to realize that my participation in the board...