Brain Dump

I had a lot of grand plans for using my time off effectively, but instead I've gotten in a routine of spending time diddling around on the internet, and then watching TV until late at night. I recently discovered a bunch of old friends on the internet and I've spent way too much time lately on blogs and Facebook. Plus it feels like I spend the whole day doing something with one of the kids. Little Dude doesn't nap anymore and my days have been feeling long. S-Boogie is only in school for about three hours every day, and I think we'd both like it to be more. I realized the other day that things would probably be better for all of us if I tried therapy again (maybe the third time's the charm), and our stake directory handily has the local LDSFS number in the front cover, so I'm trying to get up the courage to give them a call and make an appointment. If I stop going to school we'll probably end up moving again next year, and I really dread going through the disruption again. I think it takes all of us about a year to adjust to a new place, so I'm getting anxious to just settle down somewhere. I'd love for it to be here, but we're far away from family and it's not very affordable. Plus there's only one good employer for Mr. Fob here in town and they haven't had any good openings during the last five months.

I have tried the last few days to just relax and have fun with the kids as much as possible. I worry that I'm going to struggle with S-Boogie for my whole life--she's just so intense that I get stressed out and overwhelmed easily with her. She's also been going through a very negative phase lately and the constant whining, pouting, and complaining get to me. Are all five-year-olds like this? It's hard to find a realistic balance between assuming I'm a horrible mom because she's never happy about anything and realistically evaluating what I'm doing. This afternoon we spontaneously made cupcakes, even though it involved cleaning up sprinkles all over the floor. The kids were very happy about the cupcakes--I almost said "no" because I know that next week will be one giant treat-fest, but it was a slow, cold afternoon. It's been too cold to play outside or ride bikes here so we've been trying to stay inside without going nuts. I have a few errands to run on campus, but it's either a freezing ten-minute bike ride or a thirty-minute walk so I've been putting them off. Any tips on riding a bike in forty-degree weather?

On the bright side, we're all counting down the days until next week. Little Dude keeps running around proclaiming "I'm so 'cited for Christmas!". Not only do we get to open presents, but after we finish the unwrapping we'll jump in the car for a drive down south. We're going to hang out with my family in a hotel for a few days and I'm so excited to see everyone. I love vacations. Mr. Fob's dad gave us some Christmas money to spend on the kids and I'm contemplating taking them to a theme park--probably Sea World but maybe Lego Land. The idea of paying a massive amount of money ($60 each, seriously!) on something so ephemeral seems so weird to me, but the kids would enjoy it and I think it's a better use of the money than buying more toys. Part of me still wants to spend it on some camping equipment, but the realist says that we probably won't really go camping all that often even if we have the equipment. Sea World was my favorite place when I was a kid and it will be great to take my kids. The massive commercial enterprise that it has become is nothing like it used to be when I was five, but I think they need to see Shamu at least once in their lives. I had hopes of taking some time to drive back through my old home and taking a look around, but I don't think it's going to happen. Hopefully we'll stay in California and I'll get a chance to visit there again some time in the future. At least I'll get to walk on the beach for Christmas!

Now I'm going to go eat another chocolate cupcake and watch the episode of Jeopardy! that I have taped. Is it lame that every time my phone rings I hope that it's the contestant coordinators calling me?

Comments

skylark said…
Gloves. And a scarf. and try to avoid forty degrees and rain. Though it can be more fun than it sounds. Especially if you come home to a good cup of hot chocolate.
I like your Sea World idea. Use your money to buy experiences (ie DO stuff) instead of more things (ie HAVE stuff). Memories, baby.

Your first paragraph could have been written by me the last two weeks. . .

Must. Get. Motivated.
Em said…
Ah ha! I've only been off for two days and I'm already in the rot-my-brain-with-TV-and-let-Bee-play-with-her-cousins phase. Maybe I'll make cupcakes.

Totally not lame that you want the Jeopardy people to call....that would be awesome!
Edgy said…
I agree with STM, though I vote for Legoland instead of Sea World.

Although, I can see a feasible argument for camping gear if it's something you would like to do. As I see it, you can tack a camping excursion on to your next trip to Utah to visit us. :)
Mrs. Hass-Bark said…
I have the same problem with being produtive for at least the first week of winter break. That was a lie. I have a hard time being productive AT ALL during winter break. I'm sure that most of it is the way I leave all of my major assignments until the end of the semester and am completely burned out.

I'm learning to give myself a bit of a break about it, because I just can't drive myself that crazy.

Anyway, good luck! I hope that the break is restful if not especially productive.
Cricket said…
Foxy... YES! ALL 5 Year Olds Are like this!

I Vote Sea World too :)
Julie said…
You're not a bad mom. My 8, 6, 5 and 2 year olds all spend a lot to most of their time whining, screaming, crying or pouting. Or maybe we're just both bad moms? =) I'm really bad always saying "no" to the kids. Daddy is our "yes" man.
Earth Sign Mama said…
It's not being "lame"-- it's the power of positive thinking :) (call her, call her, call her, Trebekians)
rantipoler said…
I think Sea World is a fab idea. We're planning on spending at least a day there while we're here, as well. The Shamu Rocks show is my favorite.
Kari said…
I sure hope it's a stage because my now 6 year old was hard the last six months of 5 and is still hard in the first part of 6. I'm afraid it may just be my bad parenting. I wonder about struggling with mine her whole life as well. It was a relief to read your concerns...thanks for being so candid.

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