Just pray I don't have food stuck in my teeth
Several years ago Master Fob decided to write a personal essay for a class. After it got a positive reception we decided to publish it. Both of us decided that it would be a good idea to put our names in it rather than leaving it simply as "anonymous". Part of the point of the essay was to emphasize that there are real people behind the story and that we have no shame in our decisions. Then the nice reporter from the Trib wanted to know if we'd be willing to have our pictures in the paper, because you can't have a very good newspaper story with just pseudonyms. Now we've had several offers to appear on TV and documentaries.
Last week I answered the phone expecting to hear the same annoying telemarketer who calls us several times a day. Instead I was greeted by an enthusiastic, official-sounding woman who introduced herself as a reporter from Fox 13 (just you watch the best!) in Salt Lake. She'd seen the article in the Tribune and wanted to know if we would participate in a series about gay Mormons. I actually found myself quite willing to participate, although I don't know why. I try to be somewhat cautious about relying too much on my feelings, but I've had a good feeling about this gig every time I think about it. Master Fob was a little surprised that I was so eager to agree because a month or so ago we had a national talk show (not Oprah) wanting us, but I just wasn't ready then. I'm still not sure I want to go national; for one thing, we'd have to fly to New York and Fox 13 is willing to come to us.
More than anything I'm nervous because I don't really know what we'll say. Since this whole thing got so big we've been trying to decide what our purpose in going public is. It hasn't been totally easy. I've read some pretty vehement comments on message boards by people who feel threatened by our choices. I don't want people to feel that we are trying to tell them what to do or are trying to say that their particular choice is wrong. Some gay people choose celibacy, some choose committed relationships or marriage with a same-sex partner, some choose casual sexual encounters, some choose marriage to an opposite-sex partner. I think more than anything we want other couples in similar marriages to realize that they are not alone. I think one of the most gratifying things to come out of the original essay was a friendship we have made with another couple who sought us out because they were so grateful to realize that they were not the only ones. We just don't want people to think that we are advocating this choice for others. I don't know anyone else's situation. I don't know what is right for them. I certainly would never presume to tell others that they should or should not get married. But I also want people who do get married to know that they aren't alone and to know a little better what to expect. I know we can't change the attitudes of everyone out there or anything, but I hope we can put a few more personal faces on the debate. It can be so easy to stereotype and to argue about generalizations; I just hope we can make a bit of difference with our humble effort.
Last week I answered the phone expecting to hear the same annoying telemarketer who calls us several times a day. Instead I was greeted by an enthusiastic, official-sounding woman who introduced herself as a reporter from Fox 13 (just you watch the best!) in Salt Lake. She'd seen the article in the Tribune and wanted to know if we would participate in a series about gay Mormons. I actually found myself quite willing to participate, although I don't know why. I try to be somewhat cautious about relying too much on my feelings, but I've had a good feeling about this gig every time I think about it. Master Fob was a little surprised that I was so eager to agree because a month or so ago we had a national talk show (not Oprah) wanting us, but I just wasn't ready then. I'm still not sure I want to go national; for one thing, we'd have to fly to New York and Fox 13 is willing to come to us.
Now I'm really nervous because in two days a reporter and camera person are coming to our humble abode to talk to us. I hope our apartment doesn't look too dumpy and pathetic on camera. I hope I don't look too pathetic; I have a morbid fear of watching myself on tape. I may not be able to handle watching the finished product at all. I really hope the kids are somewhat decent and not crying or whining or saying things like "mommy has a hairy bum". I also hope most people I know in Utah are smart enough not to watch Fox 13 news.
More than anything I'm nervous because I don't really know what we'll say. Since this whole thing got so big we've been trying to decide what our purpose in going public is. It hasn't been totally easy. I've read some pretty vehement comments on message boards by people who feel threatened by our choices. I don't want people to feel that we are trying to tell them what to do or are trying to say that their particular choice is wrong. Some gay people choose celibacy, some choose committed relationships or marriage with a same-sex partner, some choose casual sexual encounters, some choose marriage to an opposite-sex partner. I think more than anything we want other couples in similar marriages to realize that they are not alone. I think one of the most gratifying things to come out of the original essay was a friendship we have made with another couple who sought us out because they were so grateful to realize that they were not the only ones. We just don't want people to think that we are advocating this choice for others. I don't know anyone else's situation. I don't know what is right for them. I certainly would never presume to tell others that they should or should not get married. But I also want people who do get married to know that they aren't alone and to know a little better what to expect. I know we can't change the attitudes of everyone out there or anything, but I hope we can put a few more personal faces on the debate. It can be so easy to stereotype and to argue about generalizations; I just hope we can make a bit of difference with our humble effort.
Comments
I have had both bad and good experiences with one reporter asking dramatic questions that lead to "shocking" responses and one that let me edit before the article went to press.
Trust your instincts and you will do fine, and those that don't understand and have already made up their minds before they hear your story, their opinions don't matter anyway.
Plus you get to be on tv. And that's all anyone could want out of life.
I think you're brave and cool. I think helping people know they're not alone and that there are options is a beautiful thing.
And I find it so wierd that people are threatened by other people's choices. Unless their choice is to shoot their neighbor's dog. That's not a good choice and one should feel threatened by that. But I babble.
You go girl.