Boogie Woogie

I fear that I too often focus on the negative in my relationship with my children. This year with S-Boogie has been particularly difficult for both us. I've either been uncomfortably pregnant, recovering from having a baby, or just plain stressed out by life to really want to deal with a challenging toddler. And she certainly can be pretty challenging; this is a child who can melt into a crying puddle when you give her the wrong color of cup or who can argue with you about whether the sun is awake or not. But, she really does have so many good qualities. Some days it feels like they only occasionally peep out between the clouds like rays of sunshine, but I'm glad when they do. For instance, she is incredibly creative. Tonight she had a group of about five or six long Duplos. First she made them into a piano and hummed a little tune; then they became a flute; then rhythm sticks; then a car; then an airplane so we could come to Seattle. All that from five blocks. Then she wanted to color with her crayons. However, she actually isn't all that into coloring and really just want to play with the crayons. From the other room I can hear her making up little voices: "Hey red, you want to play?" "Oh no, he fell off the table. Blue, are you OK?" "Yellow wants to go to the playground and go on the slide", etc. It's so funny. She'll do that with crayons, her little guys from the Duplo set, her food, her stuffed animals, etc. And everyone is her friend. Her bed is filled with at least ten different stuffed animals. She can't go anywhere without taking someone along with her. I think she freaks other kids out sometimes because they are all her friends too; she'll go right up and try to hold hands or hug them and most kids aren't that affectionate right off the bat. S-Boogie is also very enthusiastic about everything. She loves to go places and do things. Her response to just about anything is "Yay!". I hope she keeps her openness and enthusiasm for things as she gets bigger. Some days the excess energy and stubbornness wear me out. But I keep reminding myself that they are good traits. She's a pretty resilient kid. And no matter what we do, she still loves us. After her bath tonight she gave me a big hug and said "I love you mommy". I really love you too, Boogie girl.

Comments

Lady Steed said…
I just want you to know that you are not alone in your feelings. Sometimes I get so frustrated with Big O I wonder why I ever thought having a child was a good idea...it was my idea, THeric was fine with being childless. But there are other times when I am so glad he is part of my life. Like today when we were hiding under a blanket and he kept telling me to "sush" and then hearing his gleeful laughter when we 'suprised' Daddy. He also made me laugh yesterday when I told him I loved him then asked him who he loved, completely expecting him to say 'Mommy'. He instead said, "um...S-----." I laughed and laughed. I am not sure if he meant your S-boogie or another S----- that we know...I wonder if he even realizes that he knows two girls with the same name?

Anyways, thank you Foxy for sharing your feeling regarding your relationships with your children. YOur help me to know that I am normal and not psychotic.
Th. said…
.

Or we're all psychotic. That's what I'm voting for.
Anonymous said…
What a little smarty pants you have! I am also trying to focus more on the nive things the kids do. Thanks for the reminder.
Earth Sign Mama said…
You know...back in the day when my "blog" was in a black and white composition book, I remember writing a paragraph about a very vivacious, creative, stubborn, precocious little girl: "If I hadn't given birth to her, some days I wouldn't even want to have anything to do with her!" And look how she turned out!! Actually---it was Gifted and Talented Kindergarten in San Diego that turned our relationship around: an outlet for all that creativity and a peer group of other genius children with boundless imagination and poor small motor skills.
Anonymous said…
The bad news is that it doesn't get easier, so it's a good idea to learn to focus on the positive now. I know that sounds really preachy and stupid, but it's true. When they grow out of the cute little things, and start getting zits and armpit hair, and then they lay on the ground screaming "I hate you!" it's just about impossible to come up with anything like a nurturing comment (or thought). I'm more likely to call the guys in white coats to pick up one or both of us. (Or more realisically, to say, "Hey. Why don't you go live with your dad?") But then I remember that there was an adorable time, even if it was peppered with experiences like the time she poured a bottle of purple paint down the furnace vent. And I remember that we've been through a lot together, and I can help her through this phase, too. But it's definitely not easy.

And then you drop her off at the junior high and she hugs you and says she loves you right in front of all the other kids. So yeah. Ups and downs--all through life.
skyeJ said…
hmm... If she's so enthusiastic, perhaps now is the right time to box her up and ship her to visit Auntie Skye in Morocco!!! I only get in to the post office once a week, but the guys there are nice. They'd keep her hepped up on mint tea. Hep. Hep.
Kari said…
I'm so glad you feel that way, too! Some days I feel like I want to throttle the little darlings and then they do something endearing that holds off the Grim Reaper for another day.

It's better that way. They continue to breathe, I continue to live outside the prison system. It's a win-win.

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