Gimme a Break

Once upon a time a woman gave birth to a darling baby girl. This little girl took nearly a year to sleep through the night, but still gave her mother a rest during the day by napping at regular intervals. By the time she reached eighteen months old, she spent several hours napping every afternoon, during which time her mother could enjoy surfing the internet and eating chocolate with wild abandon. This blissful pattern continued for over a year, until one day this little girl decided she was done with naps. Perhaps this was partly due to the influence of a wily little brother who has nothing but contempt for daytime sleep, but perhaps it was just an entirely original idea. These days a typical afternoon goes something like this:

2:00 Stories are read and S-Boogie is deposited in her bed for a nap. Mommy goes into her bedroom to nurse Little Dude and read.

2:30 Little Dude, now sound asleep, is placed in his crib. S-Boogie is reminded that it is nap time, not singing/humming/monologuing time.

2:40 S-Boogie emerges from her room to go rock with Ducky, because "he's having trouble going to sleep and I need to rock him" Mommy offers to rock with both of them.

3:00 S-Boogie is once again in her bed and Mommy rejoices. Little Dude immediately wakes up and starts wailing.

3:15 Little Dude is back to sleep and back in his crib. S-Boogie is tucked into bed again.

3:20 Little Dude is awake. Rocking commences once again.

3:30 Little Dude is asleep in his swing. S-Boogie emerges to announce a poopy diaper.

3:45 S-Boogie is back in bed with a clean diaper. Little Dude is crying in his swing while Mommy makes a bottle hoping the extra little snack will calm him.

4:00 Little Dude is drunk on formula and falling asleep in the swing. Mommy breaks out the chocolate chips and peanut butter and eats a banana.

4:05 Mommy hears coughing and choking sounds from the swing. Little Dude is covered in spitup. Upon investigation Mommy discovers that he has vomited the entire bottle out his mouth and nose and is sitting in a puddle of barf. The bottle was apparently a bad idea.

4:15 Little Dude is in clean clothes and S-Boogie has been tucked in her bed again. Now she is crying about not wanting to nap.

4:30 Little Dude is asleep in his crib.

4:40 Mommy decides that S-Boogie might as well come out, since it's almost dinner time and then they are going to a Halloween party at 6. Discovers that S-Boogie has finally fallen asleep.

4:50 Little Dude wakes up again.

5:00 Mommy blogs about her afternoon instead of making dinner or cleaning up the swing. Little Dude is rolling around eating his feet and cooing. At least he's happy.