Yellow Wallpaper

I ended up watching a lot of movies this month; I also watched seasons 2 and 3 of ER on DVD, so I haven't spent as much time reading. Plus I was a little disappointed in just about everything I read this month. Hopefully July will be a bit more fruitful in the book recommendation department. The Swan House by Elizabeth Musser I haven't read much Christian fiction before, and it wasn't until I got this book home from the library that I realized it was from Bethany House. It turned out to be a pretty good read, although it was slow and long in parts. The book felt a little dialogue heavy, and a lot of that dialogue was an attempt to approximate Black Vernacular English that didn't always feel authentic. It was a good, uplifting sort of story once I got into it. The Stolen Child by Keith Donohue This was a newer book that follows the trend of mixing elements from fairy tales with contemporary life. Alternating chapters tell the story of a boy who is kidnapped by fairie...

When I first started blogging two years ago I had a small circle of friends that were doing it. Then it suddenly seemed like that circle blossomed to include just about everyone I knew. I love blogging as a way to keep in touch with old friends as well as to make new ones. At the same time, I rarely share my blog with people that I know in person and see on a regular basis (except for Master Fob, of course). However, I still like to follow links from random blogs I find to see if I run into anyone I know. Tonight I stumbled upon a cluster of blogs from people in my ward. Most are fairly new to the blogging world, so it's not surprising that I didn't find them sooner. Now I wonder if I should open myself up to them or not. I feel like we are friends, but at the same time there is a lot on this blog that I haven't really shared in public. How open do I want to be? Despite the fact that this blog is a public space, I often forget that there are plenty of people who read it t...

Breyers french vanilla ice cream, dark chocolate-covered pretzels, and ER season three on DVD. You know, back in the day I always was in love with Dr. Ross, but I've now decided that Dr. Carter is my favorite. He's cute, good with kids, and even when he acts like a jerk it's hard to hold it against him because at least he's not as bad as Dr. Benton.

So far I've eliminated two of the job options I had last week. The word processing job never emailed me back, but I noticed the other day that they had relisted it on craigslist . I assume that means I'm probably not still in the running. I interviewed for the library one, but the next day I called and let them know that I wasn't interested. That was hard, because it sounded like a good job. But they wanted to me work at least two nights a week (until 9) and every other weekend. I just don't feel like doing that, especially not for the pay they are offering. That leaves option number 2, the registrar's office position. My interview went well and I think it sounds like a fun job and a good place to work. However, I now have an interview on Wednesday for an adjunct teaching position. It would be two nights a week, starting in September. It's also at a college that's fairly far south of here, so those two nights would involve a lot of driving. I really don...

Since I seem to have nothing more significant to say, I will sing the praises of Trader Joe's again. Last week I spied these little ravioli on the shelf and thought they seemed like something the kids would like. I was right; they were the perfect size for S-Boogie to eat and she loved the idea of little noodles filled with cheese (half the eating battle is just getting her to try new things). Little Dude also loved the ravioli, and I even thought they were pretty good too. So that is your spiritual thought for Sunday; nurture your family by finding good, nutritious food that they'll actually eat. Then sit back, watch your children scarfing down their dinner, and congratulate yourself on being an excellent parent.

Tomorrow marks the second anniversary of my blog. I had no idea where my life would go when I started this blog, and it's fun for me to read back through the archives and remember feelings and events that I have already forgotten. I think the most surprising thing about blogging that I have discovered is the sense of community. I have about fifty blogs that I follow somewhat regularly; many of them are people I haven't ever met in person. I still consider them to be my friends. I've been very grateful for all the virtual support I've received from so many people who don't really even "know" me. Miss Nemesis recently celebrated her blog's special day by asking lurkers to come out of the woodwork and reveal who they were and how they found her blog. She got 52 comments. If you want to make my day, see if you can top her numbers. Maybe then I can change my blognym to "Queen of the Universe".

Even though I should be doing other things, I can't let this go without blogging about it. I just got a call from a job to schedule an interview. I'm not going to give other details about it so it doesn't come back to bite me. But, I'm already not sure if I want to work with the person who just called me. First of all, when I picked up the phone it was somewhat faint and crackly. We have some kind of problem with our phone line in this apartment; we've bought three different phones since living here and none of them work well. Apparently I didn't respond quickly enough to something this girl said, since she suddenly said " Hel -o-o! Can you hear me?" in a very rude voice. Usually when I explain that my phone is having a little trouble, most people respond with sympathy and speak a little more loudly. This girls seemed to take my phone problems as a personal insult. She then announced that she would call me back. I went in the other room and answered th...

I was feeling a little reluctant to go to church today. It was partly because I've been feeling a little down over the general state of things. I'd planned on only staying in the ward for a little while before finding a job and moving on. Instead, I get to spend each week pretending that everything is normal and answering people's chatty questions with fake answers while hoping no one asks where my husband is. Some people in the ward have asked, and I have told them because I trust them. And I'm getting a little more accepting of my new reality. But mostly I feel conspicuous and weird at church because I know most people wonder what's going on and I don't feel like becoming the subject of ward gossip. But that wasn't the point of my post at all. I was also a little nervous about going because today is Father's Day. A good friend told me that he wasn't very enthused about today either because of issues from his past, so it's good to know that I...

I spent yesterday in my pajamas trying not to throw up. Thankfully I didn't, although that may be due to the fact that I hardly ate anything all day. I felt horribly tired and achey , so I took a hot bath and went to bed early. Then I slept for eleven hours and woke up feeling much better today. Master Fob was very nice and came over at six o'clock yesterday morning when I called for help. S-Boogie didn't sleep well at all. She threw up again after she decided she needed a drink at two o'clock in the morning. Unfortunately she missed the bowl and got her bed instead. Little Dude slept through that, but then decided he needed to wake up at five-thirty with diarrhea. I was feeling too tired and nauseated to deal with both kids at six, so I was glad for the help. I am grateful to whoever it was who gave me the double sheet suggestion. I layer one sheet directly on the kids' mattresses, then top it with the mattress pad and another sheet. Then if there's some kind o...

So Little Dude never puked again after Monday night. But then he developed nasty diarrhea and I've spent the last few days changing his entire outfit four or five times a day. I think my washing machine is going to collapse from fatigue. Then this afternoon S-Boogie started telling me that her tummy hurt. I was thinking diarrhea, so I just told her to go lie down on the couch. She fell asleep for a while. The she suddenly woke up and started spewing all over the couch. If you think curdled milk and cantaloupe baby puke is nasty, you should try peanut butter sandwich/yogurt/oranges puke. Nice. So now my house smells like vomit and I'm starting to feel a little queasy myself. I don't know if it's just from the smell, but I have a sinking feeling that my vigorous and frequent handwashing has done me no good at all.

Since Vanessa did it: 25 Things I Love 1. Blogging and reading other people's blogs 2. Dark chocolate 3. Insightful, well-made films 4. Ice cream 5. Olives 6. Spain 7. The ocean 8. Cheese 9. Hot showers 10. Scrabble 11. Trivia contests (College Bowl, Jeopardy!, etc.) 12. CSI (the original) 13. Sleeping late 14. Playing the piano, especially accompanying friends who sing or play instruments 15. Jigsaw puzzles 16. Dancing to Latin or techno music (as long as it's in a crowd and the room is somewhat dark) 17. Cuddling with my kids 18. Cooking for people 19. Warm brownies 20. Swimming 21. Flannel pajama pants 22. Sunsets 23. Wood floors 24. A cool breeze coming through an open window 25. Tulips and daffodils in the springtime 25 Things I Hate 1. Carbonated beverages 2. Exhaust fumes 3. Loud, annoying music 4. Rude, entitled people 5. Pants that are too tight 6. Uncomfortable underwear 7. Hot food that burns your tongue 8. Running 9. Cleaning the bathroom 10. Getting up in the midd...

Suddenly, I'm popular. I just got a phone call from a job wanting to interview me, and I have another interview next Wednesday. I also interviewed for a job about two weeks ago; when I emailed them yesterday they said they were still interviewing a few more people and would let me know. Job #1 is a word processing job at an accounting firm. The interview went well and it seems like a nice place to work. The pay is really good too. However, I don't have the specialized skills in Word that they want, and although I could learn, if they find someone with more experience they'll probably hire that person instead. It's also not my ideal career path, but I think I would enjoy it. Job #2 is my interview next week. It's a position in the registrar's office at one of the private universities here in Seattle. I would be counseling students and faculty on graduation requirements and such. The pluses are that it would be a good career path and I think that I would enjoy it....

We had our first experience with late-night vomiting shortly after S-Boogie turned one. I heard her crying in her crib one night, and when I went in to check I realized quickly that something was horribly wrong. Thankfully we only really had a few more incidents with her; my life has been vomit-free for about two years now. Until last night. I had finished cleaning the kitchen and was just sitting down to start watching a movie when I heard Little Dude crying. That's not so unusual these days, so I went in to check on him. He was standing up in his crib. I picked him up, cuddled his head against my chest, and suddenly realized that the room smelled horrible. I turned on the light and saw that he was covered in vomit and was kindly rubbing it on my shirt. The crib was covered with it. He'd managed to do it in a corner of the crib and get it down the wall and the floor too. Nice. I got everything in the washer and gave him a quick bath and clean pajamas. We sat down to watch my ...

In case you didn't know already, graduating from college is not free. It's even worse when you're in graduate school. Last week I had to pay to make copies of my thesis as well as a binding fee for each copy. I'm glad that I decided to submit it electronically, since I ended up with two required copies instead of the standard four. The secretary told me that the last person who submitted their thesis had nine copies. Nine! At fifteen dollars a copy for binding fees, that adds up. And I just got information on caps and gowns as well as graduation announcements. More little fees to pay. But I don't care. It is so worth it. I'm actually getting excited about putting on my funky robe and getting to parade across that stage for my diploma. Maybe even excited enough to plan to do it again a few more years down the road.

I guess the nice thing about having such a crappy start to your vacation is that the rest of the trip can only get better. Even though it was a little stressful traveling with two small children, one of whom is not interested in meeting new people, seeing new things, or leaving mommy's sight (Little Dude giggled with delight when he saw our front door today because he was so happy to be home), I still managed to have a good time on my whirlwind trip to Utah. On Thursday I got together with some friends from grad school to have a little party. It was fun to see everyone and I had a great time hanging out with people from school again. People are all graduating and moving on to PhD programs, and I admit feeling a little jealous that so many of my friends seem to have their act together in a way that I don't. Over the last few years I feel like I've lost a lot of my old ability to act decisively; I'm trying to get that back. I also remind myself that people take different ...

I think one of my favorite parts of coming to Utah is reading all the billboards between Salt Lake and Orem . You can learn a lot about Utah culture simply by analyzing the advertising strategies people use. First of all, about half of the billboards are urging you to buy your own home. Since buying a home is an important investment and the first step to that all-important self-reliance. You can't have a year's supply of food storage in an apartment. Also, you need a home for your large family. There's one company that specifically targets the stereotypical Utah family. Their billboards read "Two kids under five and twins on the way. Two tons of laundry. Our homes have extra-large laundry rooms." and "Eight kids. All girls. 164 pairs of shoes. All our homes have oversized closets." Then there are the ads for modest clothing, BYU football tickets, wedding dresses, and even the ad for a traffic website that pictures a girl in a wedding dress and says ...

Well, I made it to Utah all in one piece. I didn't even break down crying, even though I wanted to at several points throughout the day: Little Dude woke up at 3 this morning and refused to go back to sleep. He's been running a slight fever and had a plugged up nose for the last two days. By the time I got him back to sleep it was nearly 5:30 in the morning. And then S-Boogie woke up at 7. Mommy was not a happy camper. When we got to the airport and were checking in, the lady yelled at me and threatened me with a $10,000 fine because I forgot to bring a copy of Little Dude's birth certificate. I really spaced that one, I'll admit, but she was pretty cranky about it. Plus the last time I flew with him, no one asked for it. I also think it's dumb that they don't require ID of any type for small children S-Boogie's age. I thought we had timed things well by hanging around in the awesome play area for a while before arriving at our gate. We got there 20 minutes ...

Well, at least I hope I am. Travelling with little kids always takes so much stuff. I'm an overpacker as it is, and then you add in the fact that kids usually end up needing more clothes and diapers than you'd planned on, and it's a bad combination. I've got one giant duffel bag with everyone's clothes; a smaller duffel with toiletries, my blow drier, the camera, and other necessities ; my giant diaper bag/carry-on; a stroller; and two car seats. Fun. Oh, and S-Boogie is in charge of her own backpack with toys and things in it. The biggest debate I have right now is whether or not take my laptop. I'm still undecided. I don't want to deal with another bag, but it seems kind of scary to just throw it in with all the other stuff in the diaper bag. And I really don't want to put it in my checked luggage. Also, I'm not sure how much I'll use it, especially since I already know I can't get a wireless signal in my sister-in-law's house. But I...

For the last few days I've been feeling down. No energy, no desire to do stuff. I checked out the second season of ER on DVD and spent most of Friday and Saturday watching it. And I kept bawling. Especially since that was the season that Susan ended up with her sister's baby and had to decide whether or not to keep her. It was so tragic. Then today I finally remembered to look at the calendar. Then the little light went on in my head--the same little light that's been going on for the last fifteen years or so. Oh yeah , it's OK, it's just "that time of the month ". It always sneaks up on me; I have to remind myself that there are just a few days every month where life seems harder, everything seems more tragic, and the world is a horrible place. So for today I will keep reminding myself that "this will pass in a few days and you'll be fine". In the meantime, I'll just go eat more chocolate. Of course that does mean I have something truly...

Sitting on the back porch blowing bubbles and watching ants. Oh, and picking up sticks and waving them around. Little Dude thinks bubbles are the coolest thing ever. S-Boogie says "It's good to blow bubbles on the Sabbath day."

I bought a new swimming suit yesterday for the first time in nearly six years. Well, I guess I bought a maternity one a few years ago, but it was time to get a real suit since my other one was falling apart and I feel dumb wearing the maternity one now that my kid is a year old. Right now is a great time to get a suit, by the way, because they are all on sale. I got mine at JC Penney for half off. The thing I hate about swimsuit shopping is the fact that a vast majority of the suits offered out there are itty-bitty bikinis. I just can't wear something like that. This time I decided to try on a a tankini that had a fairly long top and a little skirt on the bottom. Even that was too much, because if I moved at all you could suddenly see the shapeless blob that is my stomach. Having two children by c-section within three years is not friendly to your body. So I nixed that idea fast. So I got a suit that was described on the label as a "swimdress" (it's kind of like this ...