Compadecer="Suffer with"

I was feeling a little reluctant to go to church today. It was partly because I've been feeling a little down over the general state of things. I'd planned on only staying in the ward for a little while before finding a job and moving on. Instead, I get to spend each week pretending that everything is normal and answering people's chatty questions with fake answers while hoping no one asks where my husband is. Some people in the ward have asked, and I have told them because I trust them. And I'm getting a little more accepting of my new reality. But mostly I feel conspicuous and weird at church because I know most people wonder what's going on and I don't feel like becoming the subject of ward gossip. But that wasn't the point of my post at all.

I was also a little nervous about going because today is Father's Day. A good friend told me that he wasn't very enthused about today either because of issues from his past, so it's good to know that I'm not alone in my reluctance. Thankfully our ward decided to keep things subdued and we only had two fatherhood talks (one from a youth speaker) and then a high council speaker who talked about Christ's parables. The lady who spoke on fatherhood impressed me, particularly with her thoughts that we should love and support all the men in our lives, whether they are in the Church or not. We should look for the good in them and praise it. I was also surprised when she said she had asked her son to sing as part of her talk. I was bracing myself for something sappy when he suddenly started singing:

Each life that touches ours for good
Reflects thine own great mercy, Lord;
Thou sendest blessings from above
Thru words and deeds of those who love.

What greater gift dost thou bestow,
What greater goodness can we know
Than Christlike friends, whose gentle ways
Strengthen our faith, enrich our days.

When such a friend from us departs,
We hold forever in our hearts
A sweet and hallowed memory,
Bringing us nearer, Lord, to thee.

For worthy friends whose lives proclaim
Devotion to the Savior’s name,
Who bless our days with peace and love,
We praise thy goodness, Lord, above.

I've always thought it's a shame that most people consider this hymn as only appropriate for funerals. I think it's a beautiful reflection on the people who touch our lives, even if only for a moment. It's a reminder to me of our capacity to do good with even a kind word or smile. Today in the hall at church I was talking to one of my neighbors when I happened to mention that Little Dude's ear seemed to be bothering him. My neighbor is a med student and offered to come over after church and take a look at things for me (he did, and Little Dude's ears do look a bit red and waxy). This was a kind gesture, and one of those little things that meant a lot.

Also, after church we had a little "linger longer", where we were invited to eat snacks and get to know each other. I ended up sitting by a family I didn't really know well but had seen around the building a few times. When I asked them about why they had moved here, they explained that they were actually staying in town for their youngest daughter to receive cancer treatments at Children's Hospital. I fumbled around trying to find the right thing to say and spent the rest of the time worrying that I hadn't said the right thing at all. When they asked about me, for some reason I mentioned that I was separated from my husband. The woman looked at me and said "I'm so sorry". She went on to say that she knew the Lord would bless me and that hard times would be OK; as she put it, "sorrow is sorrow and the Lord understands that life gets messy sometimes." I don't even remember her name and I'm not sure if I'll see her family at church again. But it deeply touched me that she reached out with empathy and love to me, despite her own difficult circumstances.

People keep asking if there is something they can do for me. Most of the time I don't have anything to suggest. I think their willingness to ask is one of the more important things to do. I appreciate the impulse to reach out and help. I appreciate it when people are real and trust me with their feelings, and let me know that I can trust them to listen to mine. I appreciate it when people offer a Christ-like example of love and "devotion to the Savior's name". So even if you might only be in a person's life for a little while, that is still enough time to touch that life for good.