Who's stubborn now?

A little while ago I remarked to a friend that I considered myself to be stubborn. He expressed surprise, because my public persona is fairly self-effacing and easygoing. But inside I really am stubborn. This morning I proved my point at breakfast. We were having leftover pancakes and hash browns from last night's dinner. Little Dude expressed a desire to have some of my hash browns by pointing to my plate and shrieking. I have a low tolerance for shrieking babies and am determined to teach my children not to shriek. It worked the first time, but I'm now confronted with a non-verbal child who doesn't feel like he has other options. So I looked at him, signed "more" and asked "do you want more?". He shrieked some more. I signed "more" and so did Mr. Fob and S-Boogie. We had a battle of wills for quite a while. Every now and then he would sign "more" politely and be rewarded with a few more bites of hash browns (and lots of praise). I was pretty surprised by how long he would keep trying the shrieking route before giving up and signing. But I was more stubborn and held out for politeness. At lunch he did a great job asking politely for "more" ravioli, so I think it might be working.

PS--I've been reading a book on "gentle discipline" and they state that you shouldn't look at discipline as a chance for parents to "win" and get control of their children. So I will say that I didn't "win", but I did persuade Little Dude that politeness was in his best interest. I don't think his need to eat should win out over our family's need to retain our hearing intact. Signing is a good compromise for that, I think.

Comments

Kengo Biddles said…
I sure wish we could do the same with Ginta....
8/04/2007 5:56 PM
Jenny said…
Would you be willing to share the title of this book?
8/04/2007 8:10 PM
Earth Sign Mama said…
I like that "persuade" concept. I'll use it more at school. I don't get too much shrieking but I get a lot of "yo' mama" sort of back talk and behavior. I have a miriade of positive behavior rewards that I've invented over the years because I grew tired of neglecting my obedient students. These rewards ALWAYS work. The rule-keepers feel vindicated, the violators shape up.
8/04/2007 9:47 PM
Earth Sign Mama said…
And now for my other reaction:

WHAT? Foxy stubborn?? NO--say it isn't so.
8/04/2007 9:48 PM
FoxyJ said…
Jenny--The title of the book was "Adventures in Gentle Discipline" and it was published by La Leche League. I just found it on the shelf at the library.

Mom--Yeah, I'm trying the "persuading" route on both of them. I've told S-Boogie that I don't hear whining and I don't respond to it. I also don't argue with her any more about some things. Like tonight it was bath time and she was trying to convince me that she wasn't dirty. I just went ahead and filled up the tub and did the whole bath thing whether she wanted to or not.
8/04/2007 10:31 PM
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