Awesomely bad

Last night we ended up spending two hours watching VH1's countdown of the "Top 40 Most Awesomely Bad Dirty Songs". Yeah. It really was kind of funny, but there were a few songs in there that suddenly brought me back to the horrible world of junior high. First there was "Whoomp! (There it is)", then they played "Come on Ride the Train", and finally the ultimate favorite of all 13 year old boys in 1991: "Do Me" by Bell Biv DeVoe. All of a sudden I felt like I was back in the gym of my junior high school hoping someone would notice me, or, even worse, at PTA night at Skate Palace trying to look sexy on roller skates. Ah, memories. I still haven't met anyone who thought junior high was a fun experience. I was a flat-chested white girl with big glasses, big hair, and braces. And I cared way more about dolphin safe tuna than sex. There was this group of boys who used to torment me every day by asking me if I was still a virgin. It made me feel so flustered, because I didn't want to not be one, but it was so uncool to admit that I was proud to be one. Now I realize that those boys were probably virgins too, but at the time it really bothered me. The further away I get from high school and junior high, the more grateful I am that they really don't matter much in the eternal scheme of things. I think my idea of hell would be having to go back and repeat seventh grade. I would rather be eaten alive by ravenous flesh-eating bugs.

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