Wednesday, July 13, 2005
That was the title of the Mary Chapin Carpenter song that was playing on the radio on my way home from campus today. I thought the chorus was especially fitting: "It's so hard to know when it's quitting time". I just dropped my summer term classes and won't be back until fall. I've been feeling really unmotivated since the term started, and now this whole thing with S-Boogie has really set me back. I was nervous about not going to school because this will put off my graduation even more and because it was the "plan", but I think it's good for me to practice doing what I feel good about instead of what I had planned on. I think I need to use the time before fall semester starts to really examine my life and make some decisions. The last few months have been hard because I've been feeling so undecided and like nothing is sure in my life. I feel way more insecure right now than I have for a long time, and I need to do something about it. I don't know what I want, so I'm never going to be happy until I figure out what it is and how to get there. Hopefully I can make up my mind about who I am and what I want to do with my life before going forward. Sometimes you just have to say no and go on to doing something else instead.