Home again

S-Boogie was released from the hospital this morning and is now a free baby. We have a nebulizer, which is a little machine that dispenses medication in mist form so she can breathe it in. She really hates having her breathing treatments, but we will continue doing them for the next few days just to make sure that everything stays cleared up. Also, we can now use the nebulizer when she starts wheezing and hopefully nip any problems in the bud before they get too serious. I'm just glad she's doing better and is back to being her normal little self again. Part of me is still having a hard time adjusting to having a child with a chronic illness, even if it's not that "serious" of one. It's just not where I thought I would be; I never anticipated that I would be spending days in the hospital with my two year old or that I would be receiving visits from those home health care people in the little white vans. I know that S-Boogie will be fine and that there are much worse things we could be dealing with, but I'm still mourning the loss of my innocent hopes that my child would be "perfect" in every way. I just have to keep reminding myself that I'm not a bad parent because my child gets deathly ill. It makes sense logically, but there's always that mommy guilt pushing at the back of my mind. I think it's one of those situations where the loss of control makes me flail around for some way to find control and be able to "fix" things. I don't think there's anything here for me to fix, though. I hate feeling so helpless.