Drifting

Now that I am not in school, I am not sure what to do with my life. I have no idea what I should be doing right now. Today I tried getting up early and exercising because I hoped that it would help me feel better, but instead I have felt tired and brain fogged all day. And now I am starting to feel sick to my stomach, which is a problem because I should begin to fix dinner about now and nothing sounds good at all. Even though S-Boogie is almost two, I still have a hard time adjusting to the whole staying at home thing. I have always worked or been in school or stuff like that, so I feel kind of weird just hanging out in my house without some sort of higher purpose in mind. Today I thoroughly cleaned the bathroom. I even washed the shower curtain. It feels so sparkly and nice in there--if anyone wants to come use my bathroom sometime in the next day or two, please do. I think the best use of my time right now would be to work on my reading list. I have to take my specialty exams next February, and I will be tested on things from my classes as well as stuff from the main list. I have read a number of things from there, but there are quite a few left to go. Since it will take me longer to graduate than I had planned, I think I will spend my time until February working on the reading list and becoming an expert in Spanish literature. Then I can begin working on my thesis after I take the exams. I like having a plan, it makes me happy. I don't know why I always need to have plans and goals and stuff, especially since they are always changing. Why can't I just live in the present?

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