Fragile

That is how I've been feeling for the last few days: fragile. Most of the time I feel OK, but underneath my skin I seem to have some kind of tension, like the world is just too much and I'm going to fall apart at any moment. I know a big part of it is the lack of sleep. The last few nights have not gone well at all. I'm still trying to recover from arriving home from out trip at 2 AM the other day. Both last night and the night before I felt like I was too exhausted to actually fall asleep. My body kept doing this weird thing where I would start to drop off and then jerk myself awake. Last night I had taken a sleeping pill, so I never came back to full wakefulness but was in a weird irritable state. I hope that doesn't happen again, it was freaky and not a lot of fun.

It's also not a great point in the monthly cycle and I've got all kinds of weird hormones swirling around inside right now. I have been trying to keep track of my menstrual cycle and chart it so I can get a better idea of what's happening to me and how it affects my mood. I have also been reading several books on depression lately and trying to work out some sort of understanding of what is going on. Hopefully I can come up with some kind of plan or something that will help me get some balance back in my life. I think tonight I will go do some yoga and take a hot bath before bed. Maybe it will reduce the writhing and screaming that happened last night and made me a most difficult person to share a bed with.