You're so vain, I bet you think this post is about you

Yesterday morning I read an interesting article in the LA Times health section. I'm not going to post a link, since most of you probably don't want to read it. It was about how the latest trend in plastic surgery for women is getting a, um, certain part that starts with V "redone" to look "better" (aka, more like a porn star). Needless to say, I was rather shocked that people actually worry about how that looks and that they have boyfriends/husbands who will actually compare them to porn stars. But yeah, I'm still getting over the fact that a lot of women shave or wax themselves, so surgery really is a mind boggler.

Anyhoo--in my brain that sort of evolved into a post about how I feel grateful that I don't have body issues. I really don't think that I do. I've had plenty of roommates that had eating disorders and were convinced that they were fat because their size zero dresses were getting a bit snug around the hips. I could definitely not be anorexic because I like to eat too much. (Sorry, I really don't mean to be flippant, I really do understand that eating disorders are a serious mental illness and several of my good friends struggle with them). Generally, I really don't think about what I look like most of the time. I'm too poor to buy clothes, too lazy to wear makeup, and most somewhat trendy clothing makes me feel uncomfortable and flashy. And I really don't care whether I look good or not. Master Fob doesn't seem to care much what I look like either, so we've got a good system going.

Then today I was walking up to the library with S-Boogie and caught a glimpse of myself reflected in the doors. And I felt frumpy and yucky looking. And I began to realize that I'm tired of the fact that my face is broken out all the time and my hair is very blah because the Suave shampoo I bought doesn't work very well. Also, most of my wardrobe has been passed on to me from other people or was bought at thrift stores. About 90% of my maternity clothes came from other people. They are all nice clothes, and most of them look good, but I do miss having some sort of style and some sort of cohesion in my wardrobe. I keep wearing this particular pair of jeans because they are comfortable, but I get embarrassed because they are ankle cut and tapered and look stupid. As much as I hate to admit it, I generally feel better when I look better. So yes, I guess I do have a little bit of vanity hiding inside myself. In theory I would love to say that I don't care what I wear, I'm proud of the fact that I haven't spent money on makeup for over 6 years, or that I don't notice my zits. But in reality I just want to go blow a bunch of money on an "extreme makeover". Just no plastic surgery, unless I decide to become a nudist.

Comments

I do think this post is about me, so I must be vain. Of course, you did mention my name.

Seriously, I had no idea until yesterday when Foxy told me about this article that there is such thing as a good-looking "part that starts with V" or a bad-looking "part that starts with V." I assumed they were all the same. I still can't imagine what exactly these women are going for with plastic surgery.
Cricket said…
I just need to get this out in the open here- I'll go ahead and be the one to say it (I'm taking a big one for the team here because the following statement is an admittal of having seen porn enough to know this):

Porn stars DO NOT have good- looking "parts that start with V".
What they have is loose, flabby, hanging skin where it should be flush, plump and cushiony.

So who is it they wanna look like?

Maybe it's a "tuck" maybe they already look like porn stars and wanna get tacked up and tightened up, maybe a little collagen added or something so sex isn't like throwing a hot dog down an empty hallway....
Cricket said…
PS Foxy J-

I could never wear make-up because everything made me break out worse than I already was. About 3 years ago, I discovered Bare Minerals through an infomercial and ordered the basic set- The stuff is not cheap, but I am here to tell you that I am STILL using the products from that first purchase and the containers were very small- it lasts for ever! I have had to buy only 2 new containers just this last December, so for Christmas I asked for GCs to a store I knew that sold it so it was free for me :)

The containers from the store are much larger, so I will probably not have buy again until 2008. Anyway, all the stuff they say about how you can sleep in it and it won't break you out, etc. is all true. I really like the stuff and highly reccomend it.
FoxyJ said…
OK Mandi, LOL about the hot dog and the empty hallway thing. At least one benefit of always having to have c-sections will be never having that particular problem in my life. There was one woman who the article talked about that had surgery because she had given birth to three children and was feeling way too loose most of the time. To me, that is a much more reasonable reason to have this kind of surgery. It's kind of like people who have breast reduction surgery because they have back problems. Or implants because they had a masectomy. Plastic surgery isn't always a very bad thing, but sometimes it seems a little ridiculous when done for the wrong reasons.
Okay, I am going to blame this little bit of information on insomnia, late night cable programing, and a tv remote without batteries... apparently some women worry about symmetry on the "l parts". One girl complained that she was always embarrassed whenever she was around other women because she one side was umm, larger on one side. And honestly, this was probably the only place this girl could find on her body that wasn't perfect, she was beautiful. I would hope that part would have very little effect on her self esteem.

Me, I've never really compared my women's parts to other women's parts. But, I guess we are in a society where we are more prone to compare ourselves to other people- every part of ourselves, and we are more likely to see flaws than the good parts.
Lady Steed said…
.

I wish you would stop writing about me.

My opinion: Genitals simply are not pretty. Unless you train yourself to find certain traits attractive. Finding genitals attractive requires work.

Also my opinion: Once again we find ourselves somewhere where we are comparing genitals. This must stop! It's weird!

Finally, what ever happened to kegels?
Th. said…
.

Whoops. That was me. Lady Steed was still logged in. My bad.

She was reading over my shoulder though and said Amen, so she might as well have said it. It's a spousal divestiture of authority.
FoxyJ said…
OK, Th, I'm glad you cleared that up. I couldn't remember when Lady Steed and I had ever talked about genitals. I will try to keep my future posts free of such potty talk. I'm not going to promise anything, though...
Th. said…
.

It occurs to me that people without any background to recent debate will find the fact that you and I have discussed/compared genitals to be very strange indeed.

Speaking of genitals, here's a disease for you: dypnpa.
TK said…
I've commented on this before, but it's almost uncanny how when something comes to mind, in response to a post, I read the comments that are already there, and find that Mandi has already said it. (No, not the hot dog comment - tho that made me LOL - but the comment about Bare Minerals.)

My sister just gave me a set for an early birthday present and I thought about how you might enjoy it. It really doesn't look like makeup, but does cover blemishes and makes your skin look more clear. (Of course, it would look even better on your face than on mine!) I'm not that into make-up, but it was really fun to 'play with' and made me feel better to look better. They even give you a video that shows you how to use it.
skyeJ said…
I have seen, well, I'm not even sure how many labia in my life. I'm not really sure that I consider myself an expert on vaginal tightness, but I do belive that childbirth makes a HUGE difference in the tone of the pelvic floor muscles. Kegels can make a huge difference, but some women have torn ligaments and muscles and things are really just more elastic. I'm not sure what kind of surgery could make the vaginal walls tighter. Maybe you could tighten the hymenal ring. It doesn't usually tear, it just stretches out. Anyhow. I did not realize how many different types of labia there were out there. I can understand how some women would feel uncomfortable if all they ever saw were tiny pink ones. Sometimes they're lopsided. Sometimes they are long. Sometimes they are brown. They're like noses. Everyone has one, but they don't all look exactly the same. I don't know how I feel about plastic surgery. If you think a guy really cares about how your labia look, I think that is a little obsessive. I think most men just want the clothes to be OFF in the first place. Call me crazy. Maybe we'd feel better about it if we all saw everyone's labia.

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