Recent Lessons Learned at Church

We should get there early enough to sit in the chapel. The metal chairs in the overflow make too much noise when children climb on them, and the gym offers Little Dude way too much room to run.

We should not sit in the very back row of the chapel because Little Dude will color on the wall with crayons.

We should not sit in the back row of Relief Society because Little Dude will climb on a chair and turn off the lights.

We should not sit next to couples with sweet new babies because Little Dude will climb onto their laps and lovingly poke the babies' eyes out.

We should not sit next to the lady with a cane because Little Dude will pick up the cane and swing it around.

Mommy must always sit at the end of the bench or Little Dude will escape down the aisle.

The moment when S-Boogie crawls under the bench and starts drawing on her arm is also the moment when there will be a silent pause in between testimonies. Then the entire congregation can hear mommy hissing "Get up. Crayons are for paper, not your body." And her wailing "I'm not drawing on my body".

Nursery is the most inspired program at church.

Comments

Tina said…
When you have a little one everything takes strategic planning. :)
Desmama said…
Is it okay that I feel your pain? Oh, how it's comforting to know that someone else, far, far away, is going through the same thing we do. And I got to take TinyDes to nursery for the first time this past Sunday and nearly wept with the joy of it all (I had to stay with her, of course, but it's better than roaming the halls). LD's nearly in nursery officially, right?
FoxyJ said…
He'll be officially in nursery in about two weeks, but we've been visiting for the last month. He loves it, but I'm already getting a little worried about leaving him because I know it will involve screaming.
Millie said…
My youngest is leaving nursery in January. Ah, the memories. :)

P.S. Found you at Segullah
Kristeee said…
You're a brave one - I watch mothers and their bouncy kids in church and think, "oh boy, I hope my husband's always there to help!" Extra jewels in your crown, for sure.

A mother and two kids sat next to us this last Sunday - one age 2 and the other 6-7 but with Down Syndrome. I'm not sure which was funnier - when she crawled onto my lap and made me flash the ward, or when she threw her shoe and it almost beaned some grandpa in the head. Moms are amazing. And just about everyone understands that kids are kids, and expects them to act crazy now and again.
Jenny said…
Foxy, I think he gives new meaning to pew monkey.

Having a big sister in nursery with Ethan was such a life saver. I have a feeling he's going to freak out in January when she leaves.

Good luck! It sounds like someone near you needs to learn the lesson called 'we are good Christians when we help our neighbor with squirmy children so she can get something out of sacrament meeting occasionally' not that I am implying that your children are your ward's responsibility to entertain or that you can't handle your kids, but I bet there are some people who aren't paying attention anyway who may as well be useful...
Anonymous said…
.

You are so so right. There was nothing we could do in response but laugh.

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