Yellow Wallpaper

Bad news first: I do have to retake not one, but two sections, of my specialty exam. I will probably be doing this next Monday. I'm also still trying to get a hold of my advisor in order to figure out all the details. I heard a rumor that I will just be given a choice between the remaining two questions on each section that I need to redo, and if that is the case then studying shouldn't be too bad. If not, then I am in deep, deep trouble. Good news: I just got an email informing me that a paper I submitted got accepted to La Marca Hispanica , the department's student journal. That makes me feel loved and validated, even if it's a pedagogy paper and not a literature one. The submissions were totally anonymous and I was actually sick the day we presented these papers, so no one knew it was mine. And they still liked it. That makes me feel like maybe I do have something useful to say after all.

This afternoon I stopped by the JFSB to talk to a professor on my way home from campus. As I waited for the elevator, since I have pretty much sworn off stairs lately, a somewhat familiar looking person approached and said "Hi!". Then she joined me in the elevator, all the while trying to make conversation while I continued to stare in obvious discomfort, because I couldn't remember who in the heck she was. Then we got to the first floor, parted awkwardly , and as I left the building I suddenly slapped my forehead and said "[Cicada]"! D'oh! Lately I have been having some very space cadetish moments. So, Cicada, I'm sorry for treating you like some sort of wacko this afternoon. I was the wacko. Oh, and Tolkien Boy, I've finally remembered that I do know that person who professes to know me. For some reason I can never quite remember her, even though we've had several classes together. To all my friends: it's not that I don't love you, I ...

Yesterday morning I was attempting to use the computer for something and S-Boogie was pestering me. After she hit me few times, I decided it was time to go in time-out, so I picked her up in my left arm and headed into the other room. On my way out of the bedroom I shoved the door out of the way vigorously, and gave it a good smack to release some frustration. My right hand and the edge of the door connected along the fat part just below the thumb. I immediately began to feel crushing pain in my hand and it started to swell. Luckily Master Fob came home shortly thereafter and we decided that a visit to urgent care was in order. I was nervous to end up spending several hundred dollars for them to tell me to just go home and take more Tylenol, but after a few x-rays and some deliberation the doctor decided that I had badly bruised and sprained my hand, and possibly given myself a small fracture or two as well. So I get to wear a splint for the next few days and learn how to be helpless....

Two posts in one day--my readers must be feeling very special. I just wanted to let you all know that if you haven't tried yoga yet, you really should. I've been trying it off and on over the last few years, and thanks to the lovely prenatal yoga video that I got (thanks TK , by the way), I've discovered how much it helps when you feel yucky. It really does. I also love my prenatal video because it has a segment on pregnancy massage, which I talked Master Fob into watching/practicing with me the other night. It was wonderful. I know what we're going to do for our weekly date for the next 17 weeks or so. You don't have to be pregnant to enjoy yoga, though. I highly recommend this DVD, which really doesn't cost that much money. It's a lot easier to learn from a DVD than a book, and this one has a nice bonus feature that is a quick 15 minute workout that practices many of the things explained in the longer segment of the video. Even if your roommates look at ...

Lately S- Boogie's big passion is reading books. She can read books for hours on end. While I love this new hobby of hers, I am unable to read to her for hours on end. Especially since each book she likes usually only takes a few minutes, so it takes many books to fill an hour. And I'm realizing that no matter how clever a particular picture book is, it loses its charm somewhere around the 50 th reading or so. She knows all of her letters, so I've been subtly trying to introduce her to some of the skills that will help her figure out the whole reading code. She likes to sound out the letters of a word, so when she does I'll usually tell her what the word is (like F-O-O-T means "foot"). Now she knows how to spell things out, but unfortunately she has no grasp of phonics and hasn't made the magic connection yet. This morning she looked at her vitamin and read off the numbers listed on it, then proudly announced "vitamin!". And today she spelled o...

Tonight Master Fob and I watched most of a program on KUED about teen suicide, because a friend of ours was going to be appearing on the program (good job, by the way). It was interesting and enlightening and I thought it was pretty well done. I've noticed that mental illness tends to be one of those issues where you are either "in the club" because you've personally dealt with it, or you tend to just sort of ignore it because it means nothing to you. This frustrates me a little, but I think it's just human nature. Empathy is one of the biggest challenges we have as human beings. I think that the ability to be empathetic is one of the noblest traits we can develop, but also the hardest. I noticed this yesterday while I was sitting in ward council. Every month we have some sort of training where we read an article, usually from the Ensign , and discuss it. Yesterday the high priest group leader was in charge of the training, and I had been excited about it becau...

This probably shows my age a little too much, but I never used the internet until the summer after my freshman year of college. My family got a computer while I was in junior high (I think), but I didn't use it for much besides occasionally typing assignments or playing Prince of Persia. It was more something for my Dad and my older brother to mess around with, and computers were still fairly newish at the time. I don't think I was even required to type my assignments for school, if I remember correctly (well, maybe big papers, but I'm not sure). My freshman year at BYU I do remember going to the computer lab and typing up papers, but I still had no idea that the World Wide Web existed or what you could use it for. Then, right at the end of my freshman year I got a job as a secretary in the EFY office. I got my own computer at my very own desk. And I got my own email address. It was wonderful. The girls I worked with also introduced me to the internet and all the marvelous ...

For the second time during the last week, I had a professor pull me aside today to tell me that, even though they have apparently failed me on one question of my giant exam from a few weeks ago, the professors in the department still think I'm pretty cool and a good student. This really should make me feel better, but it doesn't. Especially since I still haven't received any official word about my results, just whisperings from professors. All the other students that took the exam at the same time have jubilantly reported passing with flying colors. By the way, the exam was a 4 hour essay fest based on a reading list I was supposed to have mastered as a graduate student of Spanish literature. That list had about 30-40 works on a "core list" as well as an additional 6 time periods from which I was to read and know well at least 5 works. I know it's not unusual to have a reading list or exams for a graduate program. I also know that I've had the last year an...

Yesterday on another bulletin board that I pop in on from time to time someone asked the question "If your husband could be pregnant and have kids, would you want him to take a turn?" The funny thing was that most of the women responding were rather forceful in their possession of the sole ability to bear children and wouldn't want to share it. I thought it seemed like a great idea. Partly because I want Master Fob to share in that wonderful miracle that is pregnancy, and partly because being pregnant is really not that comfortable. I don't feel that bad most of the time, and I don't even mind the fact that I'm getting fatter. But, I am getting tired of being constipated (my fancy new vitamins did nothing for me) and of feeling like I waddle when I walk. I've discovered that your pelvis is actually made up of several bones all held together by cartilage and ligaments. And when you are pregnant, this hormone called relaxin starts softening all of those thi...

Never knew I could feel like this, Like I've never seen the sky before I want to vanish inside your kiss Every day, I love you more and more Seasons may change, winter to spring But I love you, until the end of time

OK, so I usually don't rant and rave or philosophize on here much. So just be warned that I'm about to state some of my own opinions about things and you may not like me so much after discovering what I really think. This post was partly inspired by Edgy's promotion of the website Kids in Mind , as well as a recent article in the New York Times. The article discussed a small town in Missouri that recently ran into trouble because of a production by the high school of the musical Grease . A few people (3) in the community complained about the musical, the superintendent of schools asked them not to show it again, and now the drama teacher is worried that she's going to get fired and doesn't know what else is appropriate to show. For me, the most interesting thing about the whole situation was the fact that the next play the high schoolers were expected to put on was changed from The Crucible to A Midsummer Night's Dream . Now that is weird. Here are some thing...

Today at lunchtime S-Boogie picked up a section of her orange, wrapped it in a napkin, and told me that it was baby Jesus. Then she placed it on the table, arranged a few oranges around it to be Mary and Joseph, and added a few noodles to serve as angels. She also moved her cup of milk over to see baby Jesus as well. Then she picked up the napkin, took it off the orange segment and informed me "I eat baby Jesus." And she did.

This post goes along with the spirit of the last post, and was inspired by today's featured article on MSN that discussed "10 gifts that will make her cringe". The article mentioned things like wilted bouquets from the supermarket, stuffed animals, trashy lingerie and small appliances. I thought it was interesting. And so, in that vein, I offer 5 gift suggestions that would definitely not make me cringe. (Disclaimer: this list is purely for wishful thinking purposes. I already know that Master Fob can probably not afford any of these things, unless he has a secret Swiss bank account that I don't know about. I'm actually looking forward to freshly barbecued cheeseburgers and a nice "foot" massage) 1. A few nights at Ko Olina resort 2. A pound of Godiva chocolate 3. Dinner for 2 at the Melting Pot 4. Tickets to the upcoming Michael Buble concert 5. A couples session at a day spa where we could get massages and facials

I am usually not into things that are very cheesy. I don't scrapbook (well, I'm still working on a baby book, but that doesn't count), my little girl has never worn ruffles or bows, I don't decorate my home with dried flowers or cutesy sayings, etc. I don't like cheese unless it's the kind you eat. But, I love Valentine's Day. I really do. I know it's one of the cheesiest holidays ever, and I know that it's popular to be bitter and hate it, but I can't avoid liking it. I love how everything is red and pink and has little hearts on it. I like the rose petal shaped bath salts I saw in the bookstore the other day, and that adorable baby outfit that Target is selling that features tiny pants covered in hearts. Besides, this is the holiday that you can celebrate with mass amounts of candy and you don't even have to humiliate yourself by putting on a costume to get it. Not to mention the fact that you can write love notes for your friends and famil...

I am not a morning person. Anyone who has ever lived with me--friends, family, former roommates, Master Fob--can tell you that it is fruitless to try and talk with me until I have been awake for nearly an hour. No matter how much sleep I get, although the grumpiness does increase with less sleep, I just don't like to wake up. And I usually wake up in a bad mood. Also, over the years I have decided that the best way to avoid being too much of a wolverine in the mornings is to be able to follow my own little routine. Ideally, I like to be able to get myself out of the bed, stumble immediately to the bathroom and take a long, leisurely shower. For some reason I need a long, hot shower to really wake up and feel good about the day. Ideally this shower would be followed by a quiet bowl of cereal and maybe some time to sit in solitude and read my scriptures. This whole routine thing is a big reason why I hate camping. You can't usually get right up and take a nice hot shower. Also, ...

Many of you all read both my blog and his, but I thought I would share my thoughts on our big news today as well. Today was the official 20 week ultrasound, supposedly meant to look for potential health problems but really just an excuse to figure out what's in between baby's legs. The truth is, a few weeks ago I had Skye give me a sneak peek ultrasound while she was at work. At that time, we didn't see anything that would not be a girl, so we just assumed that it was a girl. But, it was still early and neither of us are experts, so I haven't been telling many people. So today we went in to the doctor's office and took another look. This time it was much more obviously not a girl. I'm still recovering. I think it will be fine--I'm just a little sad that we won't be able to use all of our adorable girl clothes again any time soon. And we are having a lot more trouble coming up with a boy name than a girl one. And we have to decide how we feel about circ...