All the Boys I've Loved Before--Part 2
I was excited to start college my freshman year at BYU, but also a little nervous because I had been warned by a number of people that I would be plagued by RM's who would want to marry me before my first semester had even ended. In a small way, this also excited me because I had precious little experience as the object of male affection and looked forward to a change in my dating life. Unfortunately, I was the only one of the six girls in my dorm room who ended the year with virgin lips. And I kept those virgin lips until shortly after my twenty-third birthday. But that doesn't mean I didn't have a few crushes along the way.
My biggest crush my freshman year was on a fellow teammate from College Bowl. Not the famous one, and not just the other freshman guy who sort of dated me. That was a crush too, but it's not quite the same because we actually did go on a few dates, talked on the phone a lot, and even snuggled in the BYU van on the overnight drive to Berkeley. No, the other guy I had a crush on was an RM and worked at the library. He had served a Spanish-speaking mission, so I asked him if he could be my conversation partner for my Spanish 102 class. We would get together in the Maeser building before College Bowl practice and go over the inane exercises in my copy of Hablame!. I don't know if he knew I had a crush on him or not, but he was nice enough to humor me. I also have a lot of respect for him because he accepted an invitation to go to Preference with me, and ended up in a big group date that consisted entirely of freshmen (besides him). By the summertime my crush on him had faded and I still don't know what happened to him. He probably has three or four kids by now.
I spent my sophomore and junior years of school in the same off-campus apartment and therefore lived in the same ward for nearly two years. I had passing crushes on various guys in my ward from time to time. For a while I had one on a guy was the son of the president of Ricks at the time--yep, Elder Bednar's son (no, we didn't go on any dates). Then I had a crush on this other guy, who I think was the object of admiration by most of the girls in the ward. He got engaged to a very nice girl and everyone thought they were the perfect couple. Then she dumped him the day before the wedding and went on a mission. I hope he found someone else even nicer than her. My junior year I had a crush on one of my home teachers. He went with me to Preference in November, but when I tried asking him on other dates he always politely declined. He continued to be a diligent home teacher and even helped me move my stuff to my aunt's house in April before I flew home to spend the summer getting ready for my mission. Later that summer I was in Utah visiting family and got on a plane to fly back to Maryland to finalize my preparations. I ran into my home teacher on that flight; he was flying from Utah to Saint Louis for his wedding. Yeah, he had been engaged for most of that year. I spent my flight feeling really embarrassed that I had spent so much time crushing on a guy who was seriously dating someone and even engaged. But then again, it's weird that he never said anything to me about it, even when I was trying to ask him out.
I moved home at the end of April and didn't leave on my mission until the end of August. And of course I had a crush on a guy in my home ward for a while before I left. My brother moved out to Utah shortly after I got to Maryland, and this guy had been hanging out with him so I think I ended up as a substitute for my brother. Plus I was over 21 so I could go clubbing with him. And we did go clubbing and out to movies and stuff. I was partially attracted to him because he was cute and partially because he was kind of "bad" and would listen to Sublime really loud when we were driving in his car. I think it was just exciting to let loose a little after three years in Provo. Don't worry--he was really excited that I was going on a mission and very protective of me when we went out dancing and stuff. I ended up chagrined again when the only response I got from my first letter to him was an announcement that he was engaged to marry another girl from my home ward. They're very happy together and I'm glad I ended up where I'm at now.
Then we get to the mission. No, I'm not going to skip this part--I will confess to having crushes on elders while on my mission. I hang my head in shame right now.
First there was the elder in my MTC group. I was in a threesome (why does that always sound dirty?) with two companions, so the dynamic there was a little weird. And this guy's companion didn't get along with him that well, so the two of us hung out quite a bit. Don't worry, we were never alone together or anything, but we did have a tendency to separate ourselves from the group a bit too much. When we were in the MTC in Madrid we had contests to see who could eat the most arroz con leche. I once ate four bowls of the stuff, even though I was already stuffed from dinner. The only time I feel a little bad about our friendship was when we went to the Prado museum on P-Day and the two of us were totally not paying attention to our companions. Hey, we liked art and they didn't. He went to a different mission in Spain and we didn't stay in touch.
Then I had a crush on my first district leader. I think that was partly due to the fact that my trainer idolized him and was always talking about how wonderful he was. Even weirder is the fact that several years later when I was teaching at BYU, his brother showed up in one of my classes. They look a lot alike, and it was a little strange to have him in my class. I actually did not have a crush on Master Fob during the mission, even though we were in the same district for a number of months. He does like to tease me because I had a rather pathetic crush on his companion. His companion was from Barcelona, and rather good looking. He also had nice clothes and a very sexy Spanish accent. I'll admit that I fantasized once or twice about moving back to Spain and marrying him--I'm not sure if I was in love with Spain or him or both. He wrote me some letters after he got transferred to another area, but I was good and didn't reciprocate. We wrote a bit after I came home, and he even sent me one of his name tags as a memento from him. I have no idea if the attraction was mutual (he had a girlfriend back home); his attentions were probably just due to the fact that Europeans are much more sentimental and outwardly emotionally expressive than Americans.
And then I came home and started emailing Master Fob. And I had a crush on him. And then I panicked because he liked me back, and actually showed it. It was my first reciprocated attraction and after a while got to be a lot less scary and a lot more fun.
And now you now that I really am just a giddy girl whose life has been a long series of lusting after people who refuse to return her affections. And I'm a naughty missionary who had crushes on the elders (only some of them; some of them I hated and kicked in the shins).
I don't think there's a moral to this story.
My biggest crush my freshman year was on a fellow teammate from College Bowl. Not the famous one, and not just the other freshman guy who sort of dated me. That was a crush too, but it's not quite the same because we actually did go on a few dates, talked on the phone a lot, and even snuggled in the BYU van on the overnight drive to Berkeley. No, the other guy I had a crush on was an RM and worked at the library. He had served a Spanish-speaking mission, so I asked him if he could be my conversation partner for my Spanish 102 class. We would get together in the Maeser building before College Bowl practice and go over the inane exercises in my copy of Hablame!. I don't know if he knew I had a crush on him or not, but he was nice enough to humor me. I also have a lot of respect for him because he accepted an invitation to go to Preference with me, and ended up in a big group date that consisted entirely of freshmen (besides him). By the summertime my crush on him had faded and I still don't know what happened to him. He probably has three or four kids by now.
I spent my sophomore and junior years of school in the same off-campus apartment and therefore lived in the same ward for nearly two years. I had passing crushes on various guys in my ward from time to time. For a while I had one on a guy was the son of the president of Ricks at the time--yep, Elder Bednar's son (no, we didn't go on any dates). Then I had a crush on this other guy, who I think was the object of admiration by most of the girls in the ward. He got engaged to a very nice girl and everyone thought they were the perfect couple. Then she dumped him the day before the wedding and went on a mission. I hope he found someone else even nicer than her. My junior year I had a crush on one of my home teachers. He went with me to Preference in November, but when I tried asking him on other dates he always politely declined. He continued to be a diligent home teacher and even helped me move my stuff to my aunt's house in April before I flew home to spend the summer getting ready for my mission. Later that summer I was in Utah visiting family and got on a plane to fly back to Maryland to finalize my preparations. I ran into my home teacher on that flight; he was flying from Utah to Saint Louis for his wedding. Yeah, he had been engaged for most of that year. I spent my flight feeling really embarrassed that I had spent so much time crushing on a guy who was seriously dating someone and even engaged. But then again, it's weird that he never said anything to me about it, even when I was trying to ask him out.
I moved home at the end of April and didn't leave on my mission until the end of August. And of course I had a crush on a guy in my home ward for a while before I left. My brother moved out to Utah shortly after I got to Maryland, and this guy had been hanging out with him so I think I ended up as a substitute for my brother. Plus I was over 21 so I could go clubbing with him. And we did go clubbing and out to movies and stuff. I was partially attracted to him because he was cute and partially because he was kind of "bad" and would listen to Sublime really loud when we were driving in his car. I think it was just exciting to let loose a little after three years in Provo. Don't worry--he was really excited that I was going on a mission and very protective of me when we went out dancing and stuff. I ended up chagrined again when the only response I got from my first letter to him was an announcement that he was engaged to marry another girl from my home ward. They're very happy together and I'm glad I ended up where I'm at now.
Then we get to the mission. No, I'm not going to skip this part--I will confess to having crushes on elders while on my mission. I hang my head in shame right now.
First there was the elder in my MTC group. I was in a threesome (why does that always sound dirty?) with two companions, so the dynamic there was a little weird. And this guy's companion didn't get along with him that well, so the two of us hung out quite a bit. Don't worry, we were never alone together or anything, but we did have a tendency to separate ourselves from the group a bit too much. When we were in the MTC in Madrid we had contests to see who could eat the most arroz con leche. I once ate four bowls of the stuff, even though I was already stuffed from dinner. The only time I feel a little bad about our friendship was when we went to the Prado museum on P-Day and the two of us were totally not paying attention to our companions. Hey, we liked art and they didn't. He went to a different mission in Spain and we didn't stay in touch.
Then I had a crush on my first district leader. I think that was partly due to the fact that my trainer idolized him and was always talking about how wonderful he was. Even weirder is the fact that several years later when I was teaching at BYU, his brother showed up in one of my classes. They look a lot alike, and it was a little strange to have him in my class. I actually did not have a crush on Master Fob during the mission, even though we were in the same district for a number of months. He does like to tease me because I had a rather pathetic crush on his companion. His companion was from Barcelona, and rather good looking. He also had nice clothes and a very sexy Spanish accent. I'll admit that I fantasized once or twice about moving back to Spain and marrying him--I'm not sure if I was in love with Spain or him or both. He wrote me some letters after he got transferred to another area, but I was good and didn't reciprocate. We wrote a bit after I came home, and he even sent me one of his name tags as a memento from him. I have no idea if the attraction was mutual (he had a girlfriend back home); his attentions were probably just due to the fact that Europeans are much more sentimental and outwardly emotionally expressive than Americans.
And then I came home and started emailing Master Fob. And I had a crush on him. And then I panicked because he liked me back, and actually showed it. It was my first reciprocated attraction and after a while got to be a lot less scary and a lot more fun.
And now you now that I really am just a giddy girl whose life has been a long series of lusting after people who refuse to return her affections. And I'm a naughty missionary who had crushes on the elders (only some of them; some of them I hated and kicked in the shins).
I don't think there's a moral to this story.
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