Preschool Days

S-Boogie completed her first full week of preschool today. She spends four hours at school on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings and is really enjoying her time there. I feel much better about her going than I did before she started. I was feeling guilty because the initial decision for her to go to school was precipitated more by my needs than hers and before she started I felt a lot of anxiety about this being a good idea. It turns out that it is, and I've been able to use my mornings for getting a lot of work done on thesis research (hopefully I'll start writing soon; I tend to do a lot of planning before writing). I had wanted to find a setting that was a little more "school" and a little less "day care", but I've realized that the two aren't necessarily mutually exclusive. She is attending a child care center and most of the kids are there all day. But she has two wonderful teachers and their schedule is filled with a nice mix of learning activities. She gets to play outside every day, a chance to practice social skills by learning in a group, and actual academic input (this week they are talking about the letter "n"). I think I would feel bad if she were there every day all day; she would miss a lot of opportunities for individual attention and personal interaction that she really can't get with a ratio of seventeen kids to two teachers. But on the other hand, I don't feel bad about her getting the kinds of experiences that they can provide and I can't.

Today as we were walking home we had some fun little conversations. The center is located on the second floor of one of the buildings in the shopping center behind our house. We walked by Victoria's Secret on the way home (nice, I know). She was excited to see all the "ladies" in the window and thankfully didn't comment on their lack of clothing. Then we looked at the little waterfalls which were turned off today.

S: "Mommy, where the water go?"
M: "I think it's hiding because it's too cold."
S: "Is the water happy or sad?"
M: "I don't know, what do you think?"
S: "I think it's sad because it had to go away"

Then,
S: "There's a bird up in the tree. It's so high up, I cannot reach it!" (she says this while jumping)

And later she saw our apartment building, which has a big letter "J"

S: "We live at J, Mommy!" "Oh look, it's a J umbrella!" "Is J for umbrella, Mom?"

Most days I can see her starting to grow out of her defiant, two-year-old stage, although it still rears its ugly head at times. She usually doesn't defy just for the sake of conflict any more, there's usually a reason for misbehavior and she can usually explain it. That doesn't mean I give in to tantrums any more than I used to. She also loves to help lately and is getting more and more interested in playing with "Tiffy" and reading to him.

The school thing is a little bittersweet, because there is a portion of her days that I'm not participating in. A baby's life is so intertwined with yours that after a while you don't even realize how much you are aware of their needs rather than your own. But then before you know it they're gone for hours and the only thing they can tell you about what they did is "I eat sanwiches and carrots and dips and I play outside". We're on the slippery slope to "My day was fine" and "I'm taking the car, see you later". I just hope her roots and her wings are strong enough to carry her through.