Give it Time

Today at the library I ran into someone from our former ward here in Orem. We lived there for three years, and I was the primary president for much of that time, so we knew quite a few people there. I've actually run into several people since moving back and it's fun to see them, especially since their children all seem so huge to me (and mine do to them also). I realized as I was driving home that my calling made a difference in how involved I felt in that ward, not to mention the fact that it was about half the size of this one.

For the last month or so I've been feeling frustrated with going to church. I still have a strong testimony, but adjusting to a new ward has been rough. I have trouble remembering people's names; I'm also tired and crabby and have spent too much time focusing on what other people aren't doing (introducing themselves to me) and not enough time focusing on what I could be doing (introducing myself to them). As things have moved toward buying a house and moving out of the ward I've even started to comfort myself a little with the fact that I can start over fresh in a new place. And then things started changing. Yesterday a member of the bishopric came over to ask me to give a talk; that didn't happen in my last ward since I didn't fit the pattern of married couples giving talks, so I was pleasantly surprised (plus it will apparently be an all-women sacrament meeting so it won't be awkward at all). I didn't tell him that it might be a farewell talk because we still don't know what our plans are. Then today a woman who lives nearby invited S-Boogie over for a playdate with her daughter. I'm still feeling awkward and like I don't know anyone, but there are a few people whose names I know and who greet me each Sunday. I just need to remember that it takes time to get comfortable in a new place. Too bad we might be uprooting again and having to do it all over. Only in Utah is a two-block move this dramatic.


Desmama said…
Our ward was just split a few Sundays ago, so I have yet to attend with the new divisions in place. It'll be a change, for sure, and I didn't realize how anxious I was until right up to the time when I knew what ward we were going to be in. I do know a lot of the people, but as with most wards, there are plenty I don't. You're right, it does take time and just patience. Diving into callings does help, and involving yourself as much as is reasonably possible will help too.
Lacey said…
Hey FoxyJ,

I started following your blog because my husband also left the church and I'm commenting in regards to you giving a talk in sacrament, but not usually being asked to because you don't fit that active married couple mold.

Last year I was ask to give a talk the same day as our High Counsel man and it was to be on Eternal Families, my part.
That was hard, but I think I nailed the my part of Eternal Families.

I wish you luck and hope it's not as awkward as my talk was.

Kristeee said…
We moved a lot as I was growing up and we decided that it takes a year to really settle in and decide how things are really going to fall into place with friends. I admit that I still think, "well, let's just move and I can try again with a different group of people" from time to time. Thankfully (and frustratingly), my husband is a "we're not moving forever" kind of guy, so I have to learn to deal with things as they are, and to change my attitude if I don't like the way things are going. In the last month I've realized that my attitude really has a lot to do with my opinion of my ward and its members, and it's changing for the better (thank heavens!).
Maraiya said…
I never thought a two block move would have such an effect, yet another reason I don't live in Utah.

We just moved this summer from a ward we had lived in for the last 9 years. I've really been struggling with getting to know people, helping my children (who are too old for play dates) find friends and fitting in. My old ward was as comfortable as an old, worn shoe. This one feels like a size too small high heel. The stiletto kind.

Yeah...I'm still working on it.
Mr. said…

What's the story behind the all-woman sacrament meeting?
FoxyJ said…
Mr--I don't know; I imagine they just had several women they wanted to give talks and so they put us all together. There's no reason not to do it, but it is just a little outside convention so I thought it was unusual. This ward is pretty diverse as far as age and life situation so I'm glad they're willing to get out of the "youth speaker, wife, husband" mold every now and then.

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